r/MenGetRapedToo

I'm in my 30s now, I'm a guy. My mom's bf moved in when I was 13. He would sneak in my room at night or pressure me to drink with him. I never told my mom what he did. He got me alone alot. I want to vent/talk about it.

This is not about me, but about my stepbrother. I’m posting because I genuinely don’t know what the right thing to do is, and I’d appreciate respectful advice. We live in Texas. All names are fake except for the abuser’s.

When my dad (“Kenny”) met my stepmom (“Shantay”), both of them had rough pasts involving addiction and legal trouble. Eventually they got sober and built a stable life together. Shantay already had two sons: Alex, who was closer to my age, and Riley, who is now around 18–19.

Riley always hated my dad. At the time, everyone thought he was just a troubled teenager acting out. He became increasingly rebellious, got involved with a girl who openly threatened Shantay, constantly fought with everyone, stole from the house, snuck out, and eventually stole Shantay’s car one night. My dad tracked him down and things got physical during the confrontation. Back then, everyone thought Riley was just angry and out of control.

But there were moments where he seemed like a completely different person. My mom (“Leah”) would occasionally give him rides, and every time she came back saying how sweet, respectful, and funny he actually was when he felt safe. I secretly felt the same way. Even when he acted out, he never seemed cruel to me — more hurt than hateful.

Before Riley left for the military, I realized nobody was really getting him anything meaningful, so I spent my own money putting together a care package. One thing I bought was a plain black t-shirt. My mom later told me she’d seen him earlier that day trying to peel lettering off an old shirt because he wanted a plain black shirt so badly. That honestly broke my heart.

I also wrote him a handwritten note telling him that I believed he was kind, misunderstood, deeply loved, and capable of becoming a good man despite everything people thought about him.

When he opened the gift, he went into his room alone. Later, Shantay quietly said he was crying. I went in to check on him and found him sitting on the floor crying hard while holding the note. I sat with him, hugged him, and let him talk. It was one of the few times I think someone truly made him feel seen.

Not long after that, Riley started therapy and finally revealed what had happened to him years earlier.

Before Shantay met my dad, she dated a man named Eddie. Eddie was abusive and addicted to heroin. Riley revealed that when he was around 13, Eddie would wait until Shantay left the house, go into Riley’s room while high, and sexually assault him repeatedly. Afterward, Eddie would leave, come back from the store, and throw a bag of watermelon Sour Patch Kids at him. Riley still can’t even look at that candy.

Suddenly everything made sense: the anger, the resentment toward his mom, the hatred of authority figures and stepfathers, the acting out, all of it. He wasn’t a “bad kid.” He was a traumatized child carrying something horrific completely alone.

Now there’s another layer to this. Eddie later remarried a woman who had three stepsons, and she eventually divorced him and got a restraining order. Nobody knows why, but it’s terrifying to think there could have been other victims.

The problem is that Riley does not want to report this or make it public. He seems to want it to disappear and never be talked about again, which I understand. At the same time, everyone is terrified that Eddie could hurt someone else.

I don’t want to pressure Riley or violate his trust. I also technically don’t think I was supposed to know any of this. But I feel sick knowing someone capable of this is still out there.

Since this happened around 4–5 years ago in Texas, could legal action still be taken if Riley ever decided he wanted to? And if there’s little or no physical evidence besides his testimony, is reporting it even realistic?

If Riley never wants to report it, nobody plans to force him. We just don’t know what the right thing to do is anymore.

My little cousin tried to hold me down underneath her and started rubbing herself on me and the reason she’s not in jail is cause I didn’t have evidence oh yeah bro let me go back in time and tell myself to record. it makes me wanna kill myself cause I can’t do anything about it I don’t know what else I haven’t tried

#Deployment #notmyfirstrape

Trigger warning ⚠️ ⛔️
My story

The ship never really slept. Even at 0200, deep in the middle of the ocean, there was always the low metallic groan of the hull, the hum of machinery somewhere below decks, the distant clang of a hatch closing two compartments away. Most nights, those sounds faded into the background. That night, they only made the silence in my head louder.

I lay in my rack staring at the underside of the ceiling above while the red night lighting painted the berthing in dull shadows. Around me, everyone else seemed dead asleep. Snores. Rustling sheets. Someone muttering in a dream.

But sleep wouldn’t come.

After another half hour of staring into darkness, I climbed quietly out of my rack, pulled on my coveralls and slipped into the passageway. The air outside the berthing was cooler, smelling faintly of oil, metal, and salt dragged in from somewhere topside.

I wandered without really thinking about where I was going.

Down one ladderwell. Through a hatch. Past unfamiliar compartments. The ship had become a maze endless gray corridors that all looked the same if you weren’t paying attention.

At first, walking helped. The steady rhythm of my boots against the deck. I passed empty workspaces lit by dim lights, bulletin boards covered in watch schedules, stacks of gear tied down against the bulkheads.

Then I realized I didn’t recognize where I was anymore.

I stopped outside a berthing compartment, thinking maybe it was mine. The exhaustion in my head blurred everything together. I pushed through the curtain.

Wrong berthing.

Before I could even process it, someone barked, “Who the hell—”

A figure moved fast out of the darkness.

Something slammed hard against the side of my head.

The world disappeared.

Consciousness came back in fragments.

Pain first.

Then pressure.

My vision swam in and out beneath the dim red lighting. I felt the cold deck against my cheek and realized someone was holding me down. For one horrible second, my brain refused to understand what was happening.

Then it did.

Panic exploded through me.

I tried to move, tried to speak, but my limbs felt heavy and disconnected. A rough hand shoved me back down. The man above him hissed something angry I couldn’t make out.

I managed half a gasp before another blow cracked against his skull.

Darkness swallowed me again.

When I woke the second time, the compartment was quiet.

No voices. No movement.

Just the distant vibration of the ship underway.

I was alone.

For a long time I couldn’t move. I just laid there staring at the deck, numb, trying to convince myself it hadn’t happened. My head throbbed so badly it made me nauseous.

Eventually I forced myself upright.

Every step back through the ship felt unreal, like I was watching somebody else walk through those passageways. Nobody stopped me. Nobody noticed me.

The shower water was scalding hot.

I stood beneath it far longer than I should have, shoulders shaking, scrubbing at myself until my skin burned red. But no amount of soap or heat made me feel clean.

Afterward, I sat alone on the smoke deck while the ocean stretched black and endless around the ship.

The night wind cut through his damp clothes.

One by one, I took the clothes I’d been wearing and dropped them over the side. The fabric vanished instantly into the darkness below, swallowed by the sea without a sound.

Then I finally let himself cry.

Hi, I wanted to share my story with you, because I don’t know what to do, what to think. To be honest, I would like to know your view on that situation, I hope I will feel better when I talk to someone, even online.. sorry for my english in advance.

Yesterday I was visiting my close F friend and his husband at their home. We know each other for almost 3 years, but we „clicked” since the first conversation. Her husband is a nice man, at least I thouht so. We (are, were? Sorry I don’t even know how to express that) getting along really well, and I loved that he was so nice to his wife’s best friend. I was really excited, because we didn’t see each other for almost a year. They live pretty far, so we decided that I will be staying for some time. It was fun, we were chatting, went for a walk, did some fun stuff together. During the day and the evening, I and husband were drinking alcohol. Not really much, but from time to time, and we ended a little drunk at the end of the day. We decided, that me and husband will sleep in the living room, and my F friend alone, because they have a baby in their room and we (he?) didn’t want him to sleep in the same room. We went to sleep, and I had trouble falling asleep that night, it takes me some time. So I was lying in bed with my eyes closed, breathing slowly hoping for falling asleep fast. He thought that I was asleep, and he started to touch me in my private area. In the beginning I thought that maybe he’s half asleep, or he’s sleeping. I was a bit scared, I didn’t know what to do. I thought that he will move his hand back in a moment, I decided to not make an argument in the middle of the night. But it got worse, I don’t know if I want to talk about the details, but I think it’s not necessary there. I was paralised, and pretending to be asleep…. and thinking about what to do to stop him, by not letting him know that I’m awake. Yes I know, I should just get up and confront him, but I ended thinking. I was scared that he will reverse it against me, that I started it. That I will be the bad guy, since they know each other for years, and I know her for 3. I didn’t believe that she will Trust me over her beloved husband. In the worse scenario, that their marriage will fall apart, and her life will fall apart, since she has nowwhere to go, and noone to help her. Or it will get worse, I don’t know… My F friend had a though life, and it get really better when they got married. They love each other, show affection, and that love is just spreading out of them. I feel bad about it, like I could do more to stop it, but then I feel that it would cause me more problems… i don’t know what to do, or if I should do anything at all… i have a gf, and we love each other. I feel like I betrayed her, and she will leave me if I tell her. I feel bad about everything what happened or could happen. Don’t be harsh on me

Hi. 21M here.

I recently told my partner about my past of csa / sa at young ages. It was an excellent decision overall and i felt understood.

However, new and terrible memories have surfaced that I was unaware of, and which seem to diminish the importance of what I already knew and told. But I don't know if those new memories are even true.

Right now I'm in a loop of doubt and guilt, feeling like a fraud for over dramatizing and overthinking. I feel like a huge fraud. I feel like crap right now. And its getting worse day by day.

I decided to go back to therapy. But It will be only next week. But until then I don't want to continue in this loop that is wearing me down so much.

Has anyone been through this? How to cope?

for context i was 10, turning 11, and i was in an online relationship with a person 2 years older than me. they would force me to touch myself, and if i tried saying no, they would threaten me and say "ill hurt myself if you don't." we would do google meet on my laptop and they would tell me to have my camera on too even though i wasn't comfortable with it.

i wasn't smart enough to block them or put myself first, and i blame myself for letting it continue, but it also got to a point where i decided that i was going to be brave and set boundaries. i told them that i didn't want to do it anymore, and the next thing they did? they'd threaten to hurt themselves again and again until i finally did it. they would give me minutes ( usually 15-30, they once made me do it for a whole hour i think). one day i woke up and i was bleeding from down there because of it and i didn't know how to do it properly.

i might be wrong because i got the whole "you aren't an sa victim if they didn't touch you physically", from tiktok, but I've been told before this was sexual abuse.

i know that for sure im a victim of Stockholm syndrome (i got attached to them) and grooming, but can i really say it was abuse and i have trauma from it, or am i wrong for saying i was sexually abused? am i invalidating other victims by saying this?

Almost three months ago I was raped in my own home. It was my own fault. I made an appointment with a guy who sold me drugs before. So he came by and we tried some coke together. It was good stuff, so I asked him about the price and he said he wanted me. Now I'm a tall guy and not easily scared, so I joked that he could try. But then he attacked me and turned out to be stronger and meaner. I got beaten up heavily and then he raped me, kicked me again a couple times and said that I must have liked it, because I came. But I did not like it at all and I am scared and I'm afraid to even be at my own place now. I'm hospitalized and they're taking good care of me, really. But I am so tired of all of this and just want things to be normal again. I told my boyfriend most of it, except the part of me coming, cause I'm ashamed. When will this nightmare be over?

Me and my pregnant girlfriend at the time went to a fund raising event. The tickets cost $200 and it covered 4 parts of the event with free alcohol. Free food. Free bus ride.

I started drinking at the first event. The night was going smooth until the fourth event (the big dinner and the fund raising announcements)

Me and my girlfriend started to have a disagreement at the table. People were looking at us. We exchanged a few words but at this point I was mentally defeated. I walked over to the bar and stared drinking red wine heavily.

After the event, I felt perfectly normal. I walked my girlfriend to her bus and said “see you later” after that I have no memory. Some point in the night I noticed I was in a dark place, I could feel I was on a bed. Naked and on my stomach.

I could feel someone on the bed behind me. I turned to look and I could see someone but I didn’t know who it was. Just looking behind made my head spin so much. I had to lay my head in the bed. Next thing, I feel my legs being moved, with two hands on my lower back and this person decided to lay on my back. You can figure out the rest. It was painful. I tried to move. But he held me down and put my weight on me.. I blacked out again… later on, I remember he was giving me…. And I ejaculated… after that I walked out of the place, I was still drunk, staggering… needing sleep so bad. A few weeks later, a woman confronted me about me sleeping with so and so. I had no idea because I totally forgot. Until I saw the person came to the table and I started freaking out. I left the table straight away. Till this day I don’t know what actually happened.