I did hypnosis - oral sex rape?
I am a 33yo gay male and after a recent hypnosis video I listened to I have just started contemplating whether me receiving oral sex at a Eurovision party when I was 15 was rape.
I was really close to a girl all evening but had met eyes with another boy who wasn’t really part of our friendship group. He was openly gay so I guess he was of interest to me and we kept on looking at each other through the evening with some joking around. At some point, he takes my hand and guides me to the downstairs toilet. We kiss, and he sits down undoes my jeans and performs oral sex on me. I remember feeling surprised that it had escalated to this. Things were moving fast, there was no asking/suggesting.
Everyone at the party knew because the door seal wasn’t flush so word got out and I was bullied horrifically for the next two years. I am just coming to terms with just how much this has affected me and has held me back. I have absolutely 0 friends now just work colleagues. I am grateful for my long term relationship and that I am still on speaking terms with my family. I understand it was probably confusing for him as well, but I didn’t know that was going to happen and I was so taken a back by it. I’m nervous about talking about to it with my partner as it’s not the “standard idea” of rape.
I just can’t help but wonder what my life would be like, what kind of person would I be like, if that and subsequent years of bullying hadn’t have have happened.