u/NekoDaKittyLoaf

So before I dive into this, a few disclaimers:

I am well aware that BFDI is suppose to be casual and not have 50 layers of story into it. I am also aware that with so much characters, it would be hard to fully flesh out everything within a 20 to 30 to 40 minute episode. In fact, I am impress that the writers could even show so many characters within such a short time and with a large cast. However, I also believe that a decently well crafted story is possible even for casual shows. Thus I will judge it as that. Especially since TPOT seems to want a more serious story.
This is NOT an attack on JNJ and the crew in any way.
Feel free to disagree with me, but keep it civil.
This is based on my judgment based on everything I have seen in the show and as a writer myself, who while have some stories as loose as Early to Mid TPOT or BFDIA, also works on writing a satisfying story and really enjoys OMORI for it's story. If you think or see that I got some things wrong, you are free to let me know
I am not a believer that there exist a story that can be perfect.

With those out of the way, hello guys! Welcome to my writing review on BFDI as someone who is hyperfixiating on it right now! This will be my opinion on One's Master Plan

Quick Overview

To start, as far as I see, One's ultimate plan is to get enough power to get enough power to revive Three, and to an extent, get revenge on the other Algebrarians (which technically, she did with Four, so that checks out). To do this, she snoops around to get information by blending with the surroundings and make deals with certain contestants, mainly eleminated ones. As of typing this, she has gain Four and Two's powers (two of the most powerful Algebrarians) and has turn the Earth to a desolated land.

Some hightlights of all of this

One is very intelligent. Her manipulation method involves shining certain desires of contestants to the light (With Fanny wanting her mouth back, to Pencil's desire to change the past) and using fear as a driving force (by drowning Bell and Bomby in complete darkness and exploding a donut right in front of Barf Bag and threathening to do the same).

Her overall method to eventually get Two and Four's power seem pretty good on a surface level too (I'll get to it later). By deleting a close friend of Two, then later manipulating Pencil to hand over the power in exchange to let her go back to the past and fix everything (thanks to the additional Yoyelite power she got). With her having a safe space to escape to should the timeline get screwed, it provides her backup if things go wrong. On the topic on 'good on a surface level', there is her motive. It makes sense to bring back a beloved figure like Three, and it makes sense on why she wants revenge.

However......

She honestly have flaws writing wise.

Back to the surface level good stuff, when you get to the finer details of both things, it sort of gets messy to say the least. For the power thing, it requires a lot of luck to even work. Think about it: What if TB never got the Yoylite? (Which as far as I can tell, she would need to start ending the world, persuade Gaty and eentually, fix everything) What if Four never handed out the power to the other contestants? (Because we know that she is no match against this blue menace). What if Pencil decides to reject the deal and zap her ass because she is an Algebrarian (which based on previous records, she doesn't have a good relation with)? Those don't really seem to have backup plans and are something that's mostly influenced by other contestants, or objects.

Let's also point out about the deals of a majority of characters (Mainly Bomby, Bell, Barf Bag and Needle) . Why exactly is she choosing those characters to sign? And why do they need to sign it? I know One might have some lost braincells from all the moondust she is eating for 14 years, but as of right now, we don't know what changes if they don't sign. (In the current state of the show, I feel like it's about time we know the terms and conditions of it)

As for the motive, I believe the main issue is the fact that we didn't get to see enough of why she was an outcast. I feel like a showcase of something like the fact she lack arms or is weaker compare to the other Algebrarians would've help with the story more.

On a lighter note is on Two. Two is said to be always in hsi own little world. So how exactly can One be sure that deleting Gaty will get depressed? (I know it sounds confusing, but trust me, I knwo what I'm trying to say, I just don't really have the words for it).

Possible Rework on the issues

One thing I feel like could fix the issue of this is if we know the terms of the deal. Have one of them fast read about it, or even zoom the camera so that we can read the words. It could possibly even tell us why did One choose them specifically.

Another thing is getting to know more about why she was even left out in the first place. It feels like a crucial detail that is lookover and would be a key foundation to her as a villain. Even an Algebrarian commenting on her for her lack of arms would solve this issue (for the most part). Finally, and problably most importently, is have her have more control over events she needs to happen to reach her goals. It can be searching for another Yoyelite before she happens to find that TB has it. It can be that the deals require whoever signs it to forge the power for her, to which she can send them back. It can also be that she makes the deal with Pencil in her room so that even if Pencil tries to fry her she would naturally have the higher ground since it's her dimension. In other words, let her pull more strings

In conclusion

I think One is a pretty decent villain and all, especially with her being star theme, but I wish she has as much substance as she has style. Is it maybe weird that I have this much to comment on my second favourite character? Nah, not really. I think it just means I like them more since I focus on them and actually care if they have more flavour to them

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talkkkk. And if you're reading this, have a great week! : D

Hi Book Fans

A Writing Review: One's Master Plan

NEEDLE'S GOTTAAAAAA WINNNNNN!