u/Nervous_Juggernaut79

Hi everyone,

I am currently 5 weeks pregnant following my TFMR at 25 weeks in feb. My baby boy was diagnosed with a number of life limiting complex heart abnormalities- microarray and amnio all came back negative- so was given the go ahead I could ttc whenever I felt ready.

PM results came back a couple of weeks ago that identified a couple of other dysmorphic features- wider set eyes and 1 low set ear (which I noticed after birth) during my PM meeting, my consultant advised they would refer to genetics in view of the findings- but once again said she was happy for us to try again as she understands how much having a baby can help with heeling. Im a Midwife at my local hospital and my consultant is absolutely amazing so would always trust her advise if she told me to wait for results.

A week later I found out I was pregnant- we have our genetics apt in a week time, unfortunately there isn’t enough substantial tissue to perform WGS, I think possibly they may be able to still do WES. I have been warned there is a possibility they won’t find an answer.

I have found myself spiralling now about what the results could mean for this pregnancy. Just to add- I have 2 healthy children from a previous relationship and my partner has a healthy daughter from a previous relationship- our baby boy was our first together.

I was just wondering if anyone has been through similar and what the outcome was?

Im wanting a little bit of advice as this is all completely new to me.

8 weeks ago I moved out of my rental that I lived in for 3 and half years with my two young children. i have just purchased a property so had a bit of overlap between properties which ensured I had plenty of time to clean etc- I am quite house proud so spent 2 and half days ensuring it was to what I believed was to standard. I took pictures of all the rooms and sent to the landlord and handed my keys in to the letting agent- Landlord responded saying thank you and he was happy with the photos and would ensure I would recieve my deposit back in full- stated he would come and double check the property by the end of that week.

2 days later- property back on Rightmove with all the photos being how I left it, stating ‘beautifully presented etc’

13 days later- a very nasty email from the landlord saying he had only just gone to inspect the property and he wasn’t happy with the way I had left it- stating it hadn’t been cleaned (smear marks on high gloss kitchen cupboards- probably used wrong product in my defense and didn’t have a buffer cloth on me) tried to say kitchen cupboards had not been cleaned etc (there has been damp and mould growing in some of these cupboards which I had to clean weekly- they were cleaned with black mould spray on the day I left)

limescale on the bottom of shower and other bits like that.

paint not to standard (he agreed I could paint however I liked and have messages to evidence- although I’m not a professional decorator and my cutting in could be questionable)

stains on one of the walls from where I have cleaned damp and mould- told me off for using wrong product to clean it with)

there is an iron mark on the bedroom carpet- I accept responsibility for that! The carpet was new but probably the cheapest carpet I have ever seen- no underlay.

bits of damage to the Lino in kitchen- wasn’t in the best condition when we moved in and was already showing damage- however, I do accept a proportion of that when one of my kids ripped it a bit with a chair.

some old toys left in cellar- again I didn’t check this I left it to my other half who said he’d moved everything- but i said I would remove it asap if he could send me pictures of what was left- didn’t respond.

some bits left in the outhouse- I’ve never even set foot in there, whatever was in there isn’t mine (he mentioned chairs- I don’t have any)

garden not mowed and some weeds (it was mowed as I sent him the pics but in the 13 days it took him to inspect, we had constant rai/sun, madness to think grass grows in that time)

anyway, he never responded to my request Through DPS either acknowledging Or disputing so I did a stat declaration- he had 14 days to respond- it’s now day 12 and he’s saying if I don’t forfeit my full deposit he will basically try to get over £2200 from me (my deposit was 865).

hes stated he’s done the paint himself and cleaning etc- will need a new carpet and lino.

He says he’s paid himself an Hourly rate of £25 an hour to do these works and also £100 for fuel as he doesn’t live locally. Over £600 for cleaning- £700 for carpet etc and over £500 for decorating.

Im just so stressed over all this, I’ve always had a decent relationship with the landlord and so was not expecting all this.

just to add- the house is absolutely riddled with black mould and damp which the landlord has acknowledged but stated he tried to resolve this with a bit of insulation in the loft- didn’t work!

also I happily left my EV charger as courtesy so that the house would be more favourable for future tenants- he was happy for this but now I’m thinking of getting someone to go remove it!