u/NeuronicHawk

Just a quick request for everyone here...

There are a LOT of acronyms out there, SDAM being our unifying one here.

But just for the sake of inclusion, can we maybe all be mindful that acronyms are only useful shorthand if people know what they stand for - otherwise they become a barrier to understanding. Not everyone is up to date with all psychological shorthand.

Perhaps if using an acronym in a post, other than SDAM we could write the full terminology just once at the start?

I've lost count of the number of times I've had to open another tab and Google an acronym, or just given up on a post as it looks like alphabet spaghetti.

If nothing else, it helps others and makes the community more accessible to newcomers.

Just a short post, that some might find helpful.

When trying to explain SDAM, I use the following phrase:

"I remember the past like you remember the future."

Obviously, it's not a perfect analogy, but I've found it helpful when trying to explain things concisely to those without it.

Disclaimer: annoyingly this absolutely doesn't help when dealing with hyperphantasics who already have clear mental images of their ideal future... or clairvoyants 😂

SDAMers, were you born premature?

Just a want to explore a hunch, as I've noticed another SDAM sufferer mention being born prematurely.

Personally, I was born 6 weeks early, spent a large amount of time in an incubator, and almost didn't make it (it was the 1970s).

I'm curious if there's any correlation between premature birth and SDAM.

Please do mention any other birth complications or irregularities, as who knows what we might uncover.

It may be irrelevant, but this condition is so poorly understood that it's worth investing all possible connections.

All replies welcome.

EDIT: looks like there's not much of a pattern, still ill keep the post active just in case it's useful

I’m 49, and I’ve lived with this my whole life. For decades, I assumed everyone’s brain worked like mine. I was the guy who came across as cold/detached/disinterested to some, or highly empathic and a good listener to others - for all the reasons I'm sure many of you can relate to.

if I'm blunt, life has felt like a repetitive loop, like Groundhog Day, forced mindfulness, or being born fresh into each day/moment. But also, a lot of just going through the motions to fit in.

Like most people here I coped by building a life on facts, logic, notes, scripts, and routines (and tbh constant repressed panic that I'm missing something) that stuff let me "function" - or maybe a better word is, not be noticed.

It wasn’t perfect, but it worked well enough for years. Then, over the last few years, the scaffolding and masking systems started to collapse. My usual workarounds stopped being enough - other brain functions started to collapse and burn out. I couldn’t keep up anymore, and it got bad enough that I ended up hospitalized (recently - and please don't ask, I don't want to talk about it, but let's say it was serious)

This isn’t a quirky personality trait for me anymore. It’s a frightening breakdown in my ability to navigate basic everyday life and the adult world.

I see a lot of online talk where neurodivergent traits come across as fun, cool, or even a benefit. Some of that can be helpful and empowering for sure, especially for people who are managing well.

But when that narrative tips into minimizing real struggles, it becomes dangerous. Not everyone experiences SDAM the same way - from this sub alone it's clear it exists on a spectrum. Plenty of people seem to do fine with it, and it looks like some genuinely feel the trade-offs are worth it. I totally respect that (envious even). But for those of us who hit a wall hard, pretending this can’t become genuinely and meaningfully disabling does us all a disservice (and might be shooting future you in the foot).

Anyone who has tried to talk tona doctor about this stuff will know how easily it is shrugged off, or mistaken for depression/anxiety etc.

The most creepingkly insidious part of all this is how SDAM itself hides its own problems.

If we live without a meaningful autobiographical memory, constantly filling the gaps with workarounds and semantic bullet points, or just minimising the diversity of our personality so we can predict and make guesses about how we would have acted, it’s near impossible to track, or even feel, your own decline over time. You can’t clearly see the pattern of how things are getting increasing harder. And for some, like me, eventually that all snaps.

If you have genuine SDAM, by definition you will forget how bad the bad days were. We're basically neurologically blind to your own changes - essentially you don’t realize you’re drowning until the water is already over your head. That makes it incredibly difficult to advocate for yourself or ask for help before things reach a crisis.

Like many of us I outsourced a lot of my life story to my long term friends. And unless you're lucky enough to have observant friends who don't sugar cost things. You might not even notice yourself slipping away.

Here's my honest opinion from someone bearing the brunt of the worst of what SDAM can bring: If a condition requires constant, exhausting effort just to pass as functional, and if losing those compensations can lead to a serious breakdown, then it’s reasonable to call it a disability for those it affects this way.

I couldn't care less about drama or self-pity. I think that's one of the positive traits of SDAM :we don't really have an ego or care for validation. Why would we, that's autobiographical stuff.

But this is about being honest: we’re operating with a major structural vulnerability. And yeah maybe our foundation can hold for decades, and for some a lifetime, but it can also completely give way under stress, aging, burnout, medications, changes in other brain functions, life changes etc.

I'm Gen X so I definitely didn't grow up with the need to pathologize every difference - and I won't deny that some people thrive with SDAM. But we also really shouldn’t gloss over the reality that for some of us, this is a genuinely high-stakes cognitive difference that leaves us exposed and not properly equipped for how the world and others operate or expect.

I think it's important not get trapped in overly rosy silver lining or identity narratives and see the full picture, and not ignore the possible extremes.

If we do then we can better support each other, prepare for the long term, and push for real understanding and practical help in the real world.

Just hoping that your masking/coping mechanisms will always be there for you is a gamble.

Basically, I don't want future people in my position to end up having to struggle just to get basic support , constantly explain snd be dismissed, when that support becomes absolutely necessary.

Not wanting to frighten anyone. Just to share my own experience, in the hope that maybe it starts conversation moving this beyond dismissing this as a "different way of thinking", when clearly it's more than that.