I feel like a teenager, but not in a good way
I've seen posts in here before about feeling like a teenager in a positive way, high sex drive, head over heels in love for the first time, etc.
I feel like a teenager in a bad way. In an "I'm awkward and have no idea what I'm doing and everything is terrifying" way. I'm in my thirties and essentially have no dating experience.
Before I accepted my sexuality, back when I was super Mormon, I went on dates with guys. The vast majority were blind dates set up by friends. I rarely ever got a second date with anyone, which makes sense because looking back it was obvious I wasn't interested. I never flirted, never really did much of anything.
My ex husband was my only serious relationship and we had been friends for a decade beforehand. We got together after an 8 hour long conversation about how to made sense to do so based on Mormon teachings and doctrine. Zero romance. Zero chemistry. Didn't really feel like dating someone to be honest.
So now I'm single with no idea how to interact with women. I kind of just freeze when I see an attractive woman and want to run away. If I see a hot woman on a dating app I immediately freak out and throw my phone across the room.
I imagine the best way to get past this is to practice the social skills I need, like flirting, but since I work full-time and have kids it's really hard to figure out how to do that. Probably easier to go through this when you're young and have less responsibilites. 🙃
Anyone else dealing with this? Or went through this and came out on the other end (please give me your wisdom)?