Hello everyone, my son is 10 years old and we are seeking to connect with other trans friends and families. We live in Welland and moved to the region just recently from the states. He enjoys art, anime and manga, music and writing. We would love to meet up, he's a bit lonely at school!
Can someone make the boys in Tomodachi Life circa 1973, pretty please 🙏
A few weeks ago, I posted here about breaking up with someone because I was overwhelmed by the shame of my "messy" life.
I had lied by omission about a few things and I truly believed I was "protecting" him by ending it.
Well, I didn't actually walk away. I convinced myself that because I was "messy," I didn't deserve a real relationship and since he's unable to define what he wants and I'm scared to assurt my wishes, I just went along and thought if I just played the role of the "cool, low-maintenance" partner, I could earn his trust and stop being the "burden" I thought I was.
I’ve been auditioning for him, trying to be the perfect, effort-free woman so he wouldn't realize I’m not "partner material." I finally decided to test the waters with something incredibly basic and I asked him to add my iCloud email so we could share photos/videos more easily. I have been a decade apple product user up until four months ago.
My new phone is an old android (he's an apple user) that I was just trying to use my iPad to share photos clearly with him. Sometimes I can't even send photos, it times out and when they go through, they're blurry. It felt like another hurdle I was forcing into our dynamic, and I hated even having to explain it. I was so desperate to feel like a real person in his life and I thought a simple photo-sharing workaround would somehow bridge the distance. Being embarrassed to ask for such a basic connection was a necessary sting. I believe though it finally showed me how hard I’ve been trying to manufacture a bond he has no interest in building.
Me: "Can I ask a weird request?"
Him: "Yes"
Me: "Can you please add me to your iCloud? [email address] I want to see if this works..."
Him: "Add you to iCloud?"
Me: "Can you text me from your iPhone to that email address? I believe it should work..."
Him: "Email text works for sure for iCloud users."
Me: "Just pop my email into the field you would someone's phone number.
Maybe not 😂
Oh well it was worth a shot, sorry ☺️
After ten minutes he tried to change the subject.
Him: Did you take a shower
Me: No not yet I was waiting to see if you added me
Him: Take a shower. You will feel better after a busy day:)
He wouldn't do it. When I pushed further and asked if he was hesitant about me having his email, he texted me this.
Me: "I feel fine, may I ask if are you hesitant about me having your email address? My reason I asked was because up until a few months ago, I had everything apple and simply thought it would be a nice way to send higher quality photos and videos... But if you're unsure I understand."
Him: "I just want to give it time. I have rushed things in the past. And then feel bad when things didn’t work out. Believe me, I like you and enjoy the time we spend together. And crave for more."
I apologized! I actually apologized to him for asking for a way to connect that didn't involve a motel room and a burner-like distance.
Me: "I understand and I guess I don't feel the same about my email address as you do (maybe I should be more careful myself) but I'll have to respect that. I truly meant nothing malicious."
Him: "I believe you! And I understand where you’re coming from. There is nothing wrong in what you expect and asked. Just give it sometime 😊... I am sorry you feel disappointed. We will work things out with time."
I didn't text him the rest of the night just said" "goodnight sweetie"
I’m finding the actual process of detaching from this loop incredibly difficult. I still catch myself wanting to reach out, even when I know the response will just be another 'wait for time' script.
What should I do? Is asking for his email truly too much to ask when we've have very sexual intimate times together for 2 months? I also do not know his last name, I don't know where he lives yet he know where I live it's way to asymmetrical!
Help me process, please! And keep me busy so I don't text him today! 🤗