I can't decide - do I move back closer to family or do I stay where I have ended up?
In October 2023 I got divorced from a guy has tendencies of Borderline Personality Disorder (his mother is diagnosed, he refuses to ever get tested).
September 2024, for my 30th birthday, I treated myself to a 3 week solo roadtrip to the Smoky Mountains. I'd never been any mountains and had only seen some from a distance in Las Vegas on some vacations (I am from and lived in the northern Midwest all my life). The mountains brought me such a peaceful, calm, and healthy state of mind. I am truly in awe of the beauty to this day.
January 1, 2025 I packed up my vehicle and dogs. I signed a travel contract for a job. In March, I met a wonderful guy. It felt too good to be true. I broke up with him in July 2025 because I felt we were on different mindsets. He wanted me to move in and take a full time job whereas I was feeling rushed and overwhelmed. I took a new location contract.
I ended up getting back together with him November 2025. Things were great for a while. I ended up moving in with him in Feb 2026 and took a full time job. In September, the plan was to travel to my home state for him to meet my family and gather the rest of my belongings. Weeks leading up to the trip, I took off my rose colored glasses and realized our relationship was not okay (my new therapist labeled me as a domestic violence victim of emotional and psychological coercion). We broke up.
I'm 1400 miles from my sister (who's my best friend) and her 2 (soon to be 3!) boys. I'm super close to my dad and a cousin too. My relationship with my mom is strained at times.
Besides trying to give myself grace and to heal again (my previous therapist actually signed off on me in Aug 2025 since I was doing so well). I know I need to learn how to trust my gut again, gain confidence, find myself again, and find boundaries to ensure I am safe and happy in a future relationship should I find one. I cannot afford to stay where I currently am, due to the lifestyle I want (homestead/farmstead with 3+ acres).
I'm currently in a small studio apartment while I decide what to do. Everyone keeps asking me my plans because they care, but I want to scream "I. Don't. Know!" Because I don't; and the pressure doesn't help.
Anyways, I have a few options I am considering.
Buy 30 acres within an hour from my sister and build a house and life (she is due in the spring and then spring 2028 she is being deployed with the National Guard so I could help her husband with their three boys while she's gone).
Buy 20 acres down the road from my cousin (but also only 20 min from my mom). It's 2.5 hrs from my sister. This option puts me back in my hometown where I'd rather not work with/run into former classmates. Land is cheaper than option 1.
Buy a property with 4 acres and outbuildings already set up. It's within 10 minutes of my college best friend and her family who all treats me like family. This puts me 5.5 hours from my sister.
Stay 1400 miles away, go back to my first travel contract (either as a traveler or full time) location. I loved the little town, community, and yoga studio. But prices are outrageous and probably can't find property I'd like that's usuable.
Stay tight and continue to look for properties in all areas while also feeling overwhelmed with choices because they all have pros and cons.
Any unbiased advice would be wonderful. I miss my sister and nephews so much, but the mountains make me happy. But if I move north, I can always vacation to the mountains now that I know I love them and know about all the adventures and experiences that are possible.