u/New_Recommendation87

My MR letter came through…in March…and I’ve only just gotten round to opening it a short while ago but I’ve missed the 1 month appeal window. Is there any way to request the appeal regardless?

My 24 month old is probably neurodivergent (too early to know exactly what, and I know toddlers have big feelings anyway), but I’m struggling and hoping for some advice from people who’ve been here.

For context: I’ve worked with children and families for over 10 years and have a strong understanding of child development, but living it every day is completely different especially as a late-diagnosed ADHD parent myself, with a probably neurodiverse husband too.

We gentle parent, we’re not a big tech household, routines are fairly predictable, and yet we’re seeing daily meltdowns lasting anywhere from 30 to 90 minutes. During these they can hurt themselves and sometimes me.

The triggers often seem very small from the outside. Today’s was not being allowed to get more balls out for the cat because the cat had finished playing. Developmentally they’re doing brilliantly in lots of ways; 400+ words, expressing wants/needs, imaginative play, socially engaged, attends nursery well. Nursery say they don’t see these behaviours at all, which makes me wonder whether they’re holding it together there and releasing it at home.

We’ve got the health visitor review coming up soon and I’m worried we’ll get the usual “they’re bright / toddlers have tantrums / see how they go” response but if this level of distress continues, we’ll need support as a family.

For those who’ve been in a similar position:
- What support was actually helpful?
- Did anyone have children who masked in nursery but struggled intensely at home?
- What services (UK especially) helped before diagnosis, if there even was one?
- Is there anything you wish you’d tracked or pushed for earlier?

I’m not trying to pathologise normal toddler behaviour, I’m trying to work out when “this feels unusually intense” is worth following up, thank you ☺️