r/UKParenting

I'm veggie, have been ~4 years now. My beautiful son is now eating solids and i find myself feeling like i should be eating everything he does so he can make his own decisions as he gets older and see me model things so he can learn. This would involve reintroducing meat to my diet.

I'm conflicted because i would rather not, but something in me says this is important and it would be the right thing for my son so i can share everything with him

I also don't want him to learn "mummy doesn't eat X so i don't have to eat Y"

Anyone else been in this boat?

My LO's about to turn 3. Been using a potty & steps for the big toilet for several months now. Started training pants today.

We have so far had 5 changes of pants, 3 changes of legwear (they insisted on wearing them!) and 2 changes of tops.

I know it's only up from here, but I'm solo parenting today and I am at my wits end for the day! (PMS and a predisposition to catasrophise doesn't help!)

So, when does it get better?

Hi all,

Weather for next week looks insane.

My son is ginger, and has the ginger skin. I know absolutely nothing about protecting ginger skin, my son being ginger came out of nowhere, mine and hubbys family is full of olive skinned brunettes.

Is there anything you do to keep on top of it? Last year I was too scared to have him out in the sun at all (he was coming up to 1) but he’s 2 now and he loves his garden.

We’ve got a marque up on the garden, I have factor 50, I’ve got hats with chin straps that have the flap bit down his neck.

How often do I put sun tan lotion on?

Is there anything else you do to protect them?

My son is starting school in September. I’ve realised there’s so little time left that I have with him with me during school hours and I want to make the most of it. We’ve taken a trip to the natural history museum and a lovely model village which can get really busy out of school hours. Is there anything else in the South East I should be taking the opportunity to show him without hoards of children there?

tldr; 2 school nursery's, one won't let us visit until we take a place

Just want to get a sense check on this.

Child is 3 and currently with a child minder, from September he's going to go to a local school nursury. We are bang in the middle of two.

Nursury a) attached to a school which seems to flip between 'needs improvement' and 'good' (currently on 'good'). Undersubscribed so no problem getting a place but the nursury seemed nice enough on a visit. Good chance it's where he'll end up at primary school as there are loads of spaces. Would require picking up and taking to childminder - I work from home and it's 15 mins so no big deal.

Nursury b) attached to a school with 'excellent' rating, childminder does collections from here so wrap around care sorted. We're just outside the catchment area for the primary school part. But we've been lucky and got a place at the nursury, the problem is they won't let us do a visit only a 'stay and play' later in the year once we have accepted and given 30 hour code etc.

Keen to get some views as to whether this is normal or red flag etc and any general thoughts from people who have been through it!

I have a 3 (and half) month old and she sleeps really well in the night (so I’m not complaining lol) but during the day not so much.

About an hour after her first bottle (6:30-7) she will want to go back to sleep. I swaddle her back up (only daytime nap I do swaddle) and rock her to sleep. Once she’s asleep i put her in her Moses with white noise and she normally go off for like 20-30 mins. It’s enough to get myself sorted for the day but she wakes up still tired! I tried putting her back to sleep in the bassinet but she don’t go off or shuts her eyes and wakes back up.

Problem is. I get her out, but around 30mins/1hr later she fussy and tired again.

I feel like if she just slept longer she wouldn’t keep going in and out of “power naps? Is there anything I can do or is it just a phase at this age?

Thanks

We got our pet and animal loving 5 year old a hamster fully understanding that we’d be the ones who’d have to look after it. We clean out his cage weekly, fed him and ensure he’s generally happy but our daughter barely never plays with him / shows any interest in the hamster unless we encourage her to do so.

We put the hamster in her room initially but he was too noisy at nighttime on his wheel 🤣. We feel a bit bad for the hamster that he is basically hardly ever played with or stimulated and lives a very boring life in his cage. It’s also additional work to keep on top of his cage etc every few days.

We have said to her if she doesn’t play with him or show any interest we’ll rehome him. She always says she’ll play with him etc but never does.

What do we do now? Do we just go ahead and rehome the hamster knowing she’ll be upset? Or do we make up a white lie that the hamster ‘died in his sleep’ and is in hamster heaven and still rehome him?

She has a busy life with school / friends / extra murals etc and I don’t think she really had the capacity to think ‘I should play with the hamster’ - we have a dog and two cats and she plays with them but I suppose they’re a bit more exiting!

What is the fairest thing to do here? Rehome and explain why (knowing she’ll be upset that we gave away her pet) or makeup a scenario about him dying in his sleep and rehoming him anyway.

And yes. Let this be a lesson to all - 5 is too young for a hamster.

Sorry for the long post but I just want to do right by them both - a happy child and not a neglected hamster!

Child's mother is neglecting child, how long will the process take??

My partner has a child (10f), who lives at the opposite end of the country to him. He visits regularly and she visits up with him through school holidays. I would like to point out he has made it clear that he would be happy to be the "full time" parent, but mum refuses.

So a bit of back story. Partner (M42) and his ex wife separated 8 years ago, they live at opposite ends of the country- they moved down there together when they got married and he moved back home when they separated as he couldn't afford to live on his own down south and she didn't want to move back up North. This has meant of course that he cannot be there 24/7 for his daughter which has caused a few issues between my partner and his ex as she wants him to move in with her (the relationship was quite abusive - her to him- and he suffered multiple mental breakdowns through the relationship so this is not an option and not safe for him). Mum has a couple of fairly minor but long term health conditions (though she makes them sound much worse than they are- for example, she cannot get out of bed to take their daughter to school 4/5 days a week, and cannot bathe their child, but she can go to Download festival sleeping in a tent on a hard floor drinking heavily for 5 days).

So I'm missing a lot of history out but I'm going to skip to today. Child has 54% attendance for the year to date. She is off school every single week, multiple times a week. Child has no health conditions. She just doesn't like school because she's told what to do and she'd rather be at home on her phone (typical child of that age really!) so she will cry and say she has a tummy ache so she doesn't have to go and mum lets her. Multiple times over the last 3 months, child has rang dad during the day saying mummy is still asleep and she's not had anything to eat, so she's not gone to school because mum is asleep... Dad has then talked her through making a simple meal so she eats. When dad has had her the last few times her hair has been incredibly matted, her clothes haven't fit her well, and she's been a bit stinky. Now I fully believe a child aged 10 should be able to independently wash themselves when prompted but she's never been taught to do this, so she doesn't have those skills. She cannot brush her hair. She cannot get herself dressed. None of this is due to sensory or special needs, she just hasn't been shown how. He has been working on this when he has her and she's getting better!

So today, school called him and asked if child was with him, he said no. School said she's not been in school for a week with no contact from mum, they had been trying to call with no answer and no call back, they had sent out staff to do a home visit twice this week with no answer to the door. Child did eventually turn up at school at lunch time. School said this has been ongoing for a long time and they're concerned, they have offered mum Early Help which she's refused- she has told dad that "school are useless and they haven't offered any support".

I know the ex nanny is doing a safeguarding referral and school will have done multiple so we expect this to be referred to social services.

He wants the child full time, but he simply cannot afford court, there is no court order but when he has kept the child beyond his "time" due to being concerned, the police have advised him to take her back as an emergency court date would be set and the child would be handed back anyway as mum is the "resident parent" (it's where her school is, where the child benefit goes etc). He feels like his hands are tied without the funds to take her to court, but he does not have that money available, he doesn't have a car, he's living in a box room at his parents house and he's off work due to an injury which he's not paid for so he's on UC with LCWRA and no PIP as they said he gets 0 points to qualify. He pays maintenance (which he shouldn't but he does to save arguments).

My question is what the hell happens next???? Obviously with so many safeguarding reports made and her terrible attendance, we assume social services will be involved?? Early Help was refused so I am also assuming she'll now be offered Child In Need, which we know she can also refuse. Mum works in Young Adult Social Care which is what I find bizarre in all this- she's off work sick right now but only for a few months and she's back soon. So it's not like this is a historic job role.

What's the next steps here!? There is no physical, sexual, psychological abuse going on, there are no concerns there, but neglect is definitely an issue, but not even that would be MASSIVELY an issue as she does have access to food, she is loved (mum is pretty bad but she does love her child and shows her love!), she is clothed, she doesn't live in poverty, mum isn't an alcohol or drug abuser. She just needs to accept the support that is offered- she needs to have someone come in and help with the child and get her to school and get her sorted if she's unable to do this herself. Or she needs to hand her over to dad... But she won't because she needs her daughter for her UC claim so she gets her housing paid 🙈 she has actually said in the past that she'd hand child over to dad if she could keep the benefits and maintenance which obviously wouldn't be happening but that just goes to show that child is not being handed over due to money.

We just don't really know what happens from here, what kind of time frame are we looking at? Would SS see all this and tell her that child needs to live with dad or is this something that would have to be agreed on or child removed via a court order (I don't believe the threshold is met for a removal).

Really just looking for advice. I know I may have sounded harsh about mum, and I'm all for parents rights on both sides, and I know she's struggling but she's just not accepting the help being offered and the child is suffering. Dad is pretty tied in what he can do, he can't keep the child because he'll be told to return her, he can't afford to take mum to court, he won't get legal aid unless SHE takes HIM to court. He also doesn't want child to be traumatised by a massive court case even if he had the money. Him moving there just isn't an option. London prices for rentals for a single person are atronomical, he'd only be able to get a bedsit at best, where he'd not be able to have child overnight, and he'd likely still be paying extra towards rent from his very limited income. He gets around £750 a month, most of which now goes on travel for his daughter which he'd not have if he lived down there, but still not enough for someone to live on in London and provide for a child 50% of the time. Not the mention all of his support is up north, all of child's family other than mum are up north, he has ill mental health, so being isolated is a massive trigger for him and that wouldn't be any good for him OR child.

Any advice or just words of wisdom??

We have a very kind and lovely nearly 4 year old and we have been trying for a baby for many months. We always hoped for two and our son is good with little ones. Just now I thought I'd rule out another month and there they were two lines. My husband is poorly in bed and I think I've experienced all the emotions at once.

It is such early days that I don't want to tell family and friends and get their hopes up or let them down.

Please any parents still awake, kind strangers send me some encouraging words.

We just got the information that our nursery got closed till end of June due to safeguarding review by ofsted. We got trully devastated as our 1.5Y old girl hardly accept anyone, our families live in different country our daighter doesnt know them only met 2 week in her life and she cried as hell when they were close. Luckily she liked this nursery, but can not imagine how I would put her to different one. We don't have any local friends who can help. Also we don't have too much holiday at work. Please give us an advice what can we do in this situation and is this ofset closures are really 6 weeks or they tend to extend it?

28M with a 4mo little boy.
It is proving impossible for us to find a nursery placement for our son. He has been on a waiting list since my partner was 3 months pregnant and they have told us that they won’t be able to accommodate him until he’s at least 14-15 months that’s 21 months notice to get a place.
I’ve contacted other nurseries who have told me they have no availability until sept 27 or even 2028. That’s 2 years away how do they not have availability, have they got people on wait lists before they’re pregnant?
Mental
Rant over

We chose a nursery and were supposed to send our toddler last year. But we didn't feel she was ready so deferred to this June (next month). We went over recently to visit the nursery again but didn't really like the vibe and wanted to defer to her starting early next year instead.

Today we got an invoice for £1500.

We want to withdraw our enrollment altogether. We don't want to send her to that nursery at all. What will happen if we don't pay the first month's fees and just ask our position in the waitlist be freed altogether?

UPDATE: We want to withdraw our enrollment altogether. Don't want to defer it anymore

Hi all,

I’m looking for some outside perspectives on a situation with my child’s primary school, particularly around dyslexia screening and how the school has handled it.

We first raised concerns about possible dyslexia in person around two years ago. We then raised it again by email about 18 months ago. At parents’ evening in October, we were told that dyslexia screening would be arranged, but we heard nothing further after that.

More recently, the school placed us on a TAF process. I understand that TAFs can be useful, but in our case it has felt as though it may have slowed things down rather than moved things forward. Our main concern — dyslexia screening — still did not seem to be progressing.
Last week, after further pushback, I escalated the matter. When I still felt we were not getting anywhere, I passed the issue to the governors. Following that escalation, the screening has finally been done.

However, we are now concerned about how the screening itself has been handled.

As I understand it, my child completed a first screening/test, but the result of that has not yet been shared with us. The following day, a second test was completed. On that second occasion, my child was helped by a teaching assistant to read the questions, understand what was being asked, and work through parts of it.

The school then appeared to present the second test as the relevant/genuine result, despite the fact that assistance had been given. I am concerned that this may not accurately reflect my child’s independent ability, particularly when the whole point is to understand whether there are underlying literacy/dyslexia-related difficulties.

We have also been told that other children appear to have had dyslexia screening more readily, which makes it even more frustrating that we have had to push for so long.

My concern is not about attacking individual staff. I just want my child properly assessed and supported. But after raising this for such a long time, being told it would happen, hearing nothing, having to escalate to governors, and then being given unclear information about two separate tests, I feel trust has been badly damaged.

My questions are:

Is it normal for a dyslexia screener to be repeated the next day?

Should a child be helped to read/understand questions during a dyslexia screening?

Should the school disclose both test results to parents?

What would be the appropriate next step if we feel the process has not been handled properly?

Would you raise this formally through the school/trust complaints process?

I’m trying to be fair and constructive, but I also feel we have been pushing for nearly two years and are only now getting movement because we escalated.

Any thoughts from teachers, SENCOs, parents, or anyone familiar with primary SEND processes would be really appreciated.

Hiya all!

So my daughter had a massive growth spurt over the last year, and at 12 years of age, she's already 5'8 (!) Me, her dad, and the rest of the family are all 5'6 and way below so we've never had tall people problems before lol. So, question for all the parents raising really tall kids: where on earth do you buy school clothes from?? Im looking for slim leg navy trousers and for the life of me I can't seem to find any in all the usual shops (asda, tesco, m&S, next). I have found one or two, but the fit is pretty bad :(

Any help?

We've been putting together a list for my daughter's birthday party. We went through her class and we were surprised she said no for some people. For one girl it's been her best friend for quite a while, but all of a sudden she doesn't want her at her party. For some others, it's the children of people we are more friendly with as parents. Not like our best friends or anything, but certainly people we have spent more time with personally.

Do you fully follow your kid's lead for who they want there? Or do you make some diplomatic choices, for lack of better wording, to extend invites to kids whose parents you are close with? For context on my daughter in particular, she is definitely on the shy side so I'm a bit wary of going too crazy with invites, because I think she might go into her shell a bit which I don't want for her own birthday. Would love to hear other peoples takes!

I am interested in getting my daughter involved in either Rainbows or Squirrels (Scouts for age 4-6) when she turns 4. Has anyone had experience with either? Do you recommend? Do you think there is a benefit to Rainbows being girls only?