r/UKParenting

Hi folks - got a meeting with the school soon so will ask then but it's really bugging me and wanted to see if I'm missing something obvious.

Daughter is starting school this year, getting all the details for reception through including uniform requirements.

It's very explicit in all of the guides that cycling shorts etc under skirts or dresses are NOT permitted for the girls to wear.

This seems kind of wild to me and I can't think of a sensible reason why that would be the case? Is it just because it's not "proper"? Anyone else have similar rules with their kids and know a legit reason?

My 4 year old is not the best at hiding her modesty when she plays bless her, and hey why should she be, enjoy yourself. But we tend to have a pair of shorts on under dresses etc for comfort and decency.

I gave birth 2 hours ago, I'm absolutely exhausted after almost 3 days of labor where I got basically no sleep. But we are NOT missing this England Vs Mexico game. The baby clearly knew she had to arrive before the game. She wants to see if England has a winning chance or not 🤣.

She was born at home so we literally do not even have to move a muscle from where we are right now. I'm laying in bed, she's in my arms. My husbands gone to pick the other 3 kids up from their nanny and grandads house to come and meet their baby sister and to come home to watch the world cup (Don't judge us, yes we are letting our twin 5 year olds and 3 year old stay up to watch the world cup. They all loved watching the last game. We'll see how long they manage to stay awake for lol.)

We are going to order a takeaway soon, we have snacks for when the game is on later.

But the baby obviously understands the importance of the world cup so obviously she chose today of all days to finally be born. Already a football fan. My husband is so proud 👏

I’ve got 3 boys. My friends and sister only have girls and I genuinely do feel like I’m having an entirely different experience to them, with my very daring boys. Keeping them alive is proving quite difficult.

However it feels really taboo to say nowadays, and it’s as though we’re moving towards only being allowed to talk about the biological differences between boys and girls when we’re empathising with parents of girls going through puberty.

Out of curiosity I had a quick look at the stats and apparently research consistently finds:

- By around age 2–3, boys experience more injuries requiring medical attention than girls, and the gap widens through childhood.

On average, boys are more likely to:

- Break bones.
- Sustain head injuries.
- Visit A&E for accidental injuries.
- Be admitted to hospital following accidents.
- Die from accidental injuries (although thankfully this is still rare).

Depending on the type of injury, boys have about 1.3 to 2 times the risk of girls.

When it comes to the why, researchers think it’s a combination of a few factors:

1. Higher activity levels (strong evidence)

Even in toddlerhood, boys, on average:

- Spend more time in vigorous physical activity.
- Climb higher.
- Run faster.
- Choose rough-and-tumble play more often.

This naturally creates more opportunities for falls and collisions.

2. Risk-taking temperament (good evidence)

On average, boys score slightly higher on:

- Sensation seeking.
- Impulsivity.
- Willingness to try uncertain activities

I also read that some major differences appear before much socialisation has even happened.

Researchers have found that, on average:

-Baby boys are slightly more physically active.
- Boys spend longer looking at moving objects.
- Boys engage in more rough-and-tumble play from around 18–24 months.

And hormones such as testosterone likely contribute to these average tendencies, although environment shapes how they develop.

I’m not putting my children into a box, or yours, but I’d like to be able to have a scientifically backed moan every now and then, that’s all. Why has it became such a touchy subject recently?

My wife and I have been married nearly 10 years now. We've talked often about having a child, but we're honestly just so scared of the world we're in right now. We're pretty comfortable in life with one of us working with a good wage and the other running a successful small business.

The problem we have is just the whole outlook of it all. Kids glued to phones constantly, The internet being the way it is. Services are being ripped apart, and I fear we're now at the stage it's kind of now or never. We do want them, but we honestly just don't like the world we're bringing them into.

We're both '90s kids and just feel like the world we grew up in is absolutely lost to phones, screens, and madness. We know it's the way of the world right now, but part of us just doesn't want to bring them into all of this. It's not like it used to be, and as much as we'd try to limit the use of all this new tech like AI, we feel it's just all a bit much right now.

So what's it really like? I know having kids is the most rewarding thing in the world, but fucking hell, it feels grim right now. I think we'd be fine not having them, but the pressure of our parents crying out for grandchildren is certainly mounting.

Also, a few beers in, sorry for any grammatical errors and rambling.

Edit - M36 F33

(Please read this as an immigrant navigating parenting life in the UK and curious about other families, every person is doing their best etc etc)

I come from a country where we keep children nearby us in any day activity - so they are always around and people don't bat an eye when you are in a restaurant or the supermarket or anything. We also spent LOADS of time with family, so kids always grew up together sort of and this was what we usually did on weekends: spend time with family. Especially because we work long hours so there's not much wiggle room during the week.

Now, I keep seeing mum groups that ALWAYS have activities planned for the kids all weekend long. They go visit a farm, taking them to collect seashells, taking them to the soft play (when the weather is bad), going for a "coffee date" with the kids, taking them into this and that. I see parents planning going to Disney with their 4yo and camping, Center Parcs etc etc. And then the birthdays where they invite the whole class (!!!) so there's like 20+ birthdays per year for the child to attend??

This is all on top of week day activities - my neighbour was telling me her son has 2 after school classes (basketball and football). Her daughter does gymnastics and piano lessons. They are 5 and 7.

I appreciate that as parents we want the best for our children and to give them experiences andwhatnot, but is that the norm? I was telling a mum friend what we did on the weekend (just ran some errands, went to the post office etc) and she said "oh so not much" (???) so I don't know - is that just how things are and I should be preparing for all that? 😅

We’ve recently started reading together again at bedtime (and sometimes during the day) with my daughter, who’s almost 6. We actually stopped for about six months because story time had turned into her just messing around, but we’ve given it another go and it’s been such a lovely change.

Today we finished The Twits and got about a quarter of the way through James and the Giant Peach.

She can’t read independently yet, but she’s absolutely loving longer chapter books being read aloud.

I’d love some recommendations for books suitable for 6+. She’s very curious, bright, has a great imagination, and doesn’t really get frightened by things that might be a bit scary for other children.

So far I’m thinking:
Roald Dahl (working through these)
Harry Potter (is almost 6 too young?)

What chapter books did your kids love at this age? I’m especially interested in books that are brilliant to read aloud

Those with three children, is it much harder and financially demanding to have the third in the current climate?

Or is life too short and to just go for it?

I gave everything to be present. No lads’ nights, no pub culture, no disappearing weekends — I was *there*, from day one, consistently.

Now my kids are teenagers and I feel like I’m haunting the house rather than living in it.

Weekdays are fine — work keeps my head occupied. But weekends? I dread them. Everyone’s around and I’ve never felt more alone. I’m background noise.

The hierarchy is clear: Mum is the first call for everything — talking, lifts, decisions, comfort. I exist in a support role. When she’s busy or tired, I get promoted temporarily. When they need money or something fixed, I’m useful. Otherwise I’m furniture.

The cruel irony is I sacrificed the social life specifically to be present for them. And somehow I ended up invisible anyway.

Is this just what teenage parenting is? Or is something wrong with how I’ve played this?

I’m currently facing redundancy from 9-5 mostly WFM job and I’m looking at a totally new career avenue but it would be shift work. Think two 12 days, two 12 hour nights then 4 days off.

At the moment, our 2 yo goes to nursery three days, a day with me and then a day with my mum.

How on earth does shift work for with nursery?? Do I need to stick to the fixed days as presumably my days will change every week at work. Would there be any flexibility at work? The job is a fire control/dispatch or possibly ambulance dispatch.

I do have a support network and my husband works a 9-5 office job with two days in office (non-negotiable).

Just looking for any advice or experience of how this works! Until now I have always been the default parent so I guess this would switch the roles a bit. But it would mean I have potentially a couple of days off a week with my daughter!

Teenage son is not coping well with recent restrictions on gaming time.

Just want him to fill his time with other activities and take to gaming later in the day.

So yesterday (Saturday) when I told him that WiFi was restricted until 5pm, he told me he hated me and went to his mother's house.

First time experience for me.

It's a bolt right to the heart but I know it's heat of the moment type stuff.

I know this is a really sensitive subject, I can't really speak to anyone in real life about it, so looking for stories of hope from others that may have gone through the same.

I have 3 chikdren, I feel incredibly lucky that I have been able to have them all and I don't take this for granted, but I am absolutely berating myself for having a third child and ruining what a lovely set up I had. Of course I love my third, and there is nothing I can really do to change things now! I'm looking for some words of encouragement, or strategies that may be helpful. I have tried CBT which didn't help.

Background- had 2 children and absolutely loved parenting. Always wanted another but knew it wasn't the most logical thing to do and so tried to stick with head over heart, on paper there were so many reasons to stick with 2 and I also recognised that I was incredibly lucky to have 2 healthy children, a happy marriage and a good work life balance. Number 3 was always going to be a roll of the dice, especially as I got older (along with the children). After 4 years of agonising over the decision we decided to go for it. My third is now 14 months and I am still really struggling to cope. I miss my old life so much. Youngest was born when older ones were 7 and 9. Everyone thought I was crazy going back to the baby years and I could see why at the time, but in a way that made me think I was ready for another because I absolutely didn't feel at my limit with 2, I felt like I had capacity for another and really couldn't relate to feeling 'done'.

I always knew the age gap would be hard to manage but I never thought my mental health would be so fragile. Although of course there were difficult times with 2, I never felt overwhelmed. I genuinely used to look forward to the school holidays etc, now I dread them! I feel like I am obsessing over making the wrong decision and life just feels so difficult with 3. Even if I do get time to myself (rare) rather than enjoying it I just feel that this is how things were before/could have been. My older children adore their younger sibling, there doesn't appear to be any resentment there. My husband is also very hands on and very pleased we went for number 3. I think my main struggles are - the constant juggle of keeping everyone happy, never having time for myself, missing out on fun stuff with the older ones- I can still do that but requires planning and can feel like a military operation, my age - worrying about how I will cope with a young child as I get older, as well as all the standard logistics! Has anyone else been through this? Did it get better?

I have ordered 2 Axkid Minikid 4 Max car seats but I’m unsure where to install them in my car and how leg room will be.

I have a 2016 Peugeot 3008.

I am 5,3, my partner is 6,5, our daughter is 105cm (5 years old)and our son is around 60cm (2 months old).

Any ideas or advice would really help, thank you.

My 31 month old daughter has been a bit off over the past couple of days. Isn't keen on food, had a temp yesterday (she had Calpol twice over the day) and is suddenly absolutely refusing to brush her teeth (which she's normally pretty good at). Could this be teething? She has been drooling and chewing her fingers too. I feel like I'm answering my own question 😂 but I just wanted to know if going off teeth brushing in particular is common? I just really don't want to fall out of that routine in particular...

Hi all,
Thinking of getting child some roller skates, size 3 juniors so need to be decent. I really want her to try them on first, are there any actual skate shops anymore that do this? I’m in the North West England

Thanks!!

For example what things should I never do with a toddler lest I end up having to do it 50 million times a day forever more?

I’m newly a parent to 2 under 2. My older boy is 21 months and recently we walked past one of those amusement arcade type cars at the shopping centre and let him go in it. Well one go (£2 btw) was not enough apparently and he had an absolute meltdown when we left it and now screams whenever we go past one. I’m sort of new to toddler mentality and I’m now realising once is never enough for any fun activity for a toddler and starting to wonder if there’s any other seemingly innocent things you should avoid doing with a toddler.

I’ve discovered we should also never leave the park and never clip anything together like a rucksack without help from our toddler or we will be punished

37 weeks pregnant with a 22 month old. Will need a C-section and can not think creatively/cheaply about activities to keep my toddler occupied in those early weeks whilst I'm still sore.

She will be in nursery 2 days a week throughout August. I can only think of sticker books at this time and welcome collective wisdom!

Our nursery has a “48 hour” rule on contagious illnesses so they need to be fever free or symptom free for this amount of time before they can attend. This excludes a snotty nose because that’s constant.

This is a silly question probably and I’ll let them know tomorrow morning but my child had a temperature of exactly 38.0 degrees aka 0.1 over a raised temperature briefly this morning. After 1h or so it was back to normal. Well in themselves, no snotty nose, cough, etc. Did not need Calpol.

Is this worth mentioning given they’ll likely ask me to keep him home for 48 hours?

I am very careful to not send him ill but I’m having a lot of issues with work at the moment as I have to take a ton of leave due to childcare so those few hours of nursery are a lifesaver tomorrow. I’m thinking to just explain this because I don’t like to lie or risk that he’s getting ill. Of course if he wakes up ill tomorrow morning or has a fever again I won’t send him.

Any thoughts?

My 3 year old has been invited to his first birthday party for another child in his nursery. We've never been to one before nor hosted one and I'm unsure what the done thing is regarding presents? My kid is pretty speech delayed so unable to tell me anything about what this other child might like. Can I just put some money in a card? How much is socially acceptable?

My husband and I have different opinions/mindset on multiple things, like I want our daughter to keep going to school and he wants to homeschool her after a certain age, and I know both our intents are good, we just don't land in the same place. It's the kind of thing where neither of us is wrong exactly, we were raised differentlly.

How do you handle parenting differences? How do you make the best decision without either of you just giving in to keep the peace?