r/UKParenting

My 2 year old does 8-1 at nursery Tuesdays and Wednesdays as I work those days. She seems to really like it and even wakes up and asks to go to nursery on days she’s not in.
Here’s the thing, I was wondering about sending her in for a Friday morning also, but I don’t work that day so it would be some personal time (well, cleaning the house, haha) but I keep seeing all these reels etc about how nursery is damaging before the age of 3 and you shouldn’t send them in more than absolutely necessary… apparently it causes all sorts of problems when they’re at school age, anxiety and attachment disorders etc… I wonder how subjective it all is given she seems to love it there.
What say you general parents of Reddit?

Being a whiney little shit…it’s a Bing thing.

Edit: yeah I agree, put some clothes on Pando

Hello, parents! Asking on behalf of my sister, because we’re both getting very confused about everything.

My niece will be turning 4 on September 2nd, and as far as we were aware, she wasn’t supposed to be starting school until September 2027.

(For reference, my birthday is September 4th, it was always the first day of school, and I started reception as the second oldest in my year at 5, so that’s kind of where our instincts were leading us.)

Now, looking through all council/government advice and everything, it’s looking like my niece should’ve been registered to start reception this year, just after turning 4.

I’m confused. My sister is confused and stressed that she’s messed up, and obviously if she’s in the wrong she wants to get it sorted as soon as possible 😅 any advice is much appreciated!

As the title, hes just become one and he needs to do everything himself even if it causes carnage.

Im ok mostly with him eating himself except in public because he makes a massive mess.

But like its got to the point he needs to push his own pushchair, throws a tantrum if he cant. He usually will calm down once hes in the pushchair but not always, he wants to get on things like a baby cycle himself even if he will fall. Etc

Basically how do you encourage independence without it going crazy and being unsafe. If i help him get on the cycle at all he will get angry get off the cycle and restart. Most incan do is hold it steady for him.

My 4yo has her reception teacher coming over soon prior to her starting school in September. Everyone in her class is having these home visits.

Just being nosy really, do teachers like doing these visits or is it a bit of a pain? Is it actually to meet and get to know our children in their home setting, or is it more of a veiled safeguarding situation to see if they think they need to keep an eye on particular children?

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I'm a dad of two beautiful daughters, 5 and 2. I'm genuinely at my happiest in life with them and my wife.

My 5 year old is so easy now. We do things together, I don't panic if she disappears into another room, she helps with chores, and she's so funny. My 2 year old is a little ball of energy, makes a huge mess at dinner, is super clingy, and loves cuddles.

The only part of parenting I've never really enjoyed is the newborn/baby stage. I find it hard, and I've done a lot of it with both kids.

I always consciously wanted two children. I knew the first couple of years would be hard, but that things would eventually get easier. And they have. They're sleeping through the night, we can all eat the same food, I don't have to constantly watch them around the house, and I'm finally getting some time to myself.

My wife really wants a third. She mentions it whenever she gets the chance and says she'll do most of the work. She said the same with our second, and although I'm not complaining, I still ended up doing a lot because parenting is a team effort.

The thought of starting all over again. newborn stage, sleepless nights, nappies, constant supervision. just as things are finally getting easier doesn't appeal to me at all.

I'm 38 and she's 36, so I also feel like I'm getting too old to start over again.

I know ultimately it's my decision too, and I don't want to have a child just to make my wife happy. But I do wonder if I'm being unreasonable or selfish.

Edit: I have discussed it with my wife and she knows how I feel. She still keeps mentioning it because she really wants another one

Our two year old picked up hand, foot and mouth over the weekend and I messaged our nursery on Monday morning to say she was sick and wouldn’t be going in.

They responded saying that if she seems okay in herself she can come in, even with a confirmed and active HFM infection.

Is this normal?!

I’ve recently moved to Edinburgh from abroad and to me it just seems totally irresponsible to send my child into nursery with an infection. Interested to hear any views on this

How do you get the attention of and communicate with children who are on their headphones in a vehicle when traveling? I need to pay attention on the road and I find this sometimes to be a risk.

My daughter shares her birthday with her classmate.
I want to plan her party, how shall I do this without making sure it doesn’t clash with her classmate’s party, if she has one too? I’m not sure how to go about doing this- do I just book it and send out invitations when they go back in a few weeks? But it would be quite early as her birthday is early November. Their birthday is a Sunday so I want to do something on her actual birthday. They are in year 1.

Shall I reach out to the girl’s mum and tell her I want to book it on X date and confirm they’re not planning anything that day? I’m really not sure what to say, I don’t want to sound bossy but also dont want to sound like I’m asking for permission to book the party on that day.

Thank you! 😊

So my baby is getting better on sleep, on a good week/day he will sleep through the night. Been like this for 3-4 months now. Before that, hell. BUT i wont go down memory lane.

But now i find when he sleeps through, i still wake every couple hours. And then i get annoyed at myself cause i could be asleep lol. Is this forever now for me? My husband has no problem...

My baby has his first settling in session tomorrow at nursery, and I feel a massive sense of loss.

I feel like an era is ending and I am devastated. I see mum's with newborns and I am so jealous, wishing I could go back and do it all over again.

We have had the best maternity leave - super sociable and we go out loads.

Stupidly, I am excited for him to go to nursery! He is very confident and independent. For example when we go to playgroups he goes and plays on his own he doesn't really come near me. I think he will love nursery, and if he doesn't initially he will definitely grow to love it!

I feel like I was so fixated on his transition to nursery and settling in, I forgot about my own. As stupid as it sounds, I feel like I am losing part of myself by him going to nursery.

Is anyone able to offer some reassurance?

Honestly every ‘leak proof’ water bottle I have got my toddlers so far leaks 🙄
Recommendations - preferably with a straw of an actual bottle that doesn’t leak - I want them to be able to have it in their cot at night without puddles!

Not a rant, more just a WTF? I know it's a phase but it's so awkward. My son is 19mo and it's not even just when I dropped him off, this morning he clearly didn't want to go to nursery. Unhappy the moment I opened the front door, frustration, body stiffening until he went in the car seat. I often give him car snacks which today he didn't want to eat until we were at nursery so then more frustration because he cant go in with them. To get to his room you go through the bigger rooms and he was so frustrated the whole way through, you could probably ghear him through the whole nursery. Then the drop off, throwing himself about everywhere.

Ah now it's 8am and you must go to work, the joys!

I feel terrible too as the last two mornings I haven't even been able to get his tshirt that he slept in off. I've done teeth, face, trousers, shoes, nappy but that top isn't coming off without the biggest meltdown. Is there ever things you miss that you think that seems like you're not providing? You dont need to share what it is but just the knowledge that this does happen would be appreciated, or maybe I do just need a big "no, you need to change the top, no questions".

He just started saying no in the last couple weeks and I think thats the phase. I always try to make sure we're never rushing in the morning but I do need to go to work at some point.

Any good tips for decompressing after intense nursery drop offs?

Mum to a nearly 4 year old and a 5 mont old. Age gap is 3 years 6 months. I’m wondering when it usually gets to the point where they actually start playing together. At the moment, my nearly 4 year old still looks to us a lot for someone to play with, and obviously the baby is too young to really play with her yet. They do sit together when older one is playing and smile and laugh at each other. I sometimes find it hard to picture them actually playing together. For those with a similar age gap, do your children play together now? When did you start noticing them genuinely enjoying playing together rather than just being around each other?
Would love to hear your experiences.

I have two boys aged 3.5 and 1.5 - school starters in 27 and 29. Me and my husband want a 3rd for all the emotional reasons but really on the fence with all the logistics - holidays, time spent with each child, money. We pay £2.5k a month for 3 days childcare for both and there’s light at the end of the tunnel when my eldest starts school next year! But we don’t feel done and wonder if although hugely impactful now, it will feel trivial in 10-20 years when they’re grown. We could make it work but probably signing ourselves up to be skint for an extra 4 years or until my current youngest goes to school at least.

People with 3 - how is it? Do you get time for yourself, for each other? Do you have enough time for each child? How do you make it work?

Hi, so was hoping to please get some advice. I am currently 6 months pregnant with two children one has additional needs as she is autistic. The children are already in a beautiful school they are very happy and settled in it’s rated well and they are very secure at the moment with their friendships.

However our house is too small, we are in a cramped 2 bedroom that only has one living area / open plan kitchen. My daughters currently share and they are struggling massively with my daughters needs , they are 7 & 8 my 8 year old is really struggling to cope with her younger sister and every day is a constant battle. We are in social housing and recognised medical need for my daughter but we could be waiting 3 years on Cheshire home choice. My partner works so we are considering private renting however the area we are in is very expensive. To afford the rent we would have to rent 30 minutes away from school which could be more like 40-45 minutes in traffic. I’m not willing to uproot the girls and put them in a new school so I’m just wondering if it’s worth the drive to keep them in their schools where they are happy if I’m willing to do the drive so we can have more space and my daughters can get the space they need.
I have tried home swapping but have no luck and even thought of doing a partition wall in the biggest bedroom but it’s not big enough to do this. I did even consider giving up my bedroom to give the girls their own room but with a new born coming and my partner working nights I’m not sure this would work.
please any advice would be so appreciated

I know we can't predict the future, but my little one is due to start nursery 2 weeks before her first birthday party & christening. Realistically do you think I would be better to delay the start date? All I hear is about how sickly children are when they start nursery for the first year or so.

My son will be 1. He will not remember any of it. We are already strapped for cash after having bought a house recently and then an already well in advance planned trip to visit my parents abroad. My husband wants to have a party. I don’t think it’s sensible. He is already in a lot of debt from borrowing from family to do our house up. I’ve said I’m happy to invite his mum, dad, their respective spouses and my husband’s siblings to our house for cake. But my husband (and his mum) seem to want to hire a hall, order catering, invite the entire extended family, splash a load of cash and just make it into a huge thing. And I know we will either end up borrowing money from my husband’s stepdad to whom we already over £4k to or it will come out from my earnings. If we half arse if my MIL will cause a massive drama and it will not be enjoyable for anyone and if we go all out how her and my husband are expecting it will be too expensive for my husband’s wage alone. My MIL says she will help us pay for it, but it’s not even her own money that she’d be using it’d be my husband’s stepdad and, as I said, we owe him a lot already. Not to mention I won’t be able to invite any of my own family because my MIL would make a massive deal out of this too if she is paying for it because this is exactly what she did on my wedding.

I just don’t think it’s necessary or sensible to have a massive fuck off party for a 1 year old who won’t remember and probably just wants to play with his aunties and uncles rather than be paraded about and passed round like a toy to random extended family members he has never met - a small little get together in our home that we can afford without having to remortgage the house is fine in my view. I hate that I’m being pressured into this when I will likely have to end up dealing with the fallout. I’m the only one considering the actual repercussions and feasibility of having that party. It just feels like a lot of hassle and the one who is meant to be benefiting (my son) won’t have any fun whatsoever. My MIL and husband just want an excuse to show off to their extended family.

What do you use to document your little one milestones, firsts and all funny moments?

I just realised that I'm starting to forget all those precious moments

I've been trying to conceive for a few months. I have a daughter from a previous relationship who is almost 12. I was speaking to my neighbour about giving birth as she's just had a baby via planned C Section 4 weeks ago.

Back story: I had an extremely traumatic birth with my daughter, 80+ hours of labour, admitted to hospital at 2cm dilated as they were concerned, 3rd degree tear and episiotomy, failed ventouse and forceps delivery due to my daughter getting stuck in the birth canal. I ended up going to theatre for an hour so they could sew me up and repair the tear and cut as it was too difficult to do in the room. I was then readmitted to hospital 5 days post partum due to having a severe infection and needing IV antibiotics for a few days. I also had to be under a Gynecologist for 7 years due to my scar tissue not healing correctly, I had to have physio on my scar for 3 years and I've had to have 3 surgeries to help with the pain. I have been discharged from the gynaecologist for a few years now as the final surgery seemed to work(still have some pain every now and then).

Anyway on to the actual conversation now. I mentioned that I may look into an elective C section due to everything I went through with my daughter and everything after. She basically told me that I would be stupid to do that and I should just give birth naturally as any kind of natural labour is nowhere near as bad as having a C Section. I get that C Sections aren't the easy option and is MAJOR abdominal surgery. I haven't even made a decision I just said I was considering it as an option as was told by my Gynaecologist that it would probably be the best route for me if I have any more children. It made me really really shit like she was saying that what I went through wasn't traumatic and like she was diminishing it. Am I overreacting feeling this way? I never said anything to her at the time I just moved on from the conversation but it's left me feeling a bit upset.

ETA: I just want to thank everyone for taking the time to read it and give their opinions/advice etc. I appreciate it all. I have read all of your comments and feel a lot better 🖤