u/Next-Ad8370

Hello there I need some help. My boyfriend is diagnosed with dyspraxia and has a lot of difficulty with remembering things, planning and organisation and etc.

I always been very understanding but after almost 3 years of a relationship I am starting to feel unloved and unappreciated. I have been begging for years for him to remember to do small chores every now and then around the house without me asking. like cleaning some dishes, taking the trash out cleaning after himself after cooking, picking up his clothing off the floor etc. And his response is that dyspraxia makes him like that and then goes back to a memory of when his mother used to make him a list so he would remember to do anything besides being on his computer. That said I did that once and it worked. But can't help but feeling like I am acting like his mom. leaving a note every now and then is ok but for every house chore sounds a bit absurd?

Another thing is the remembering things about me or planning anything nice. He doesn't do it. I feel unloved because his routine is awaking up working or awaking up computer. we do show affection towards each other but don't do anything else besides going out with his work mates which pub life is not for me. I don't want to call him lazy but I feel like he puts a lot more effort in his online hobbies an friends then our relationship. And I am not asking for his entire time to be devoted to me. I just can't help but feeling like a convenience.

lastly is the walking together outside. I don't mind the bumping and clumsiness, is the walking so fast ahead me without checking in or at least trying to walk at similar pace. he says is the spacial awareness that he struggles with but I seem him running to other people excitedly all the time.

Please tell me if I am being unreasonable, I never been with anyone with dyspraxia. But I really feel unloved and I feel every time I try to talk about it is always "I have dyspraxia there is nothing I can do" "or "I don't know what to do about it" and then says "what if I pointed out how bad it is that you can't focus or start a project because you have ADHD". I feel is unfair as this things don't really relate directly to our relationship.

thank you for reading!!