u/Next-Pro

EDIT: thank you all for your kind feedback and for taking the time to express your concerns. I hear you all, and it’s time for me to move on. Going to see an apartment to rent in a few hours.

I’ve been dating this absolutely handsome and manly, tall, talented man for 3 years. Needless to say we are 40+ and he is my first real love. When started dating he told me that he has a dog (a tiny breed) who’s his N1 priority in life. I lost my mind for this man, I really did and still am madly in love, I insisted to move in with him (he was worried as I’m the first woman living with him because he is truly independent) - I just couldn’t spend an hour without him (and still cannot). And I’m a woman that prioritises career over anything. Call me a desperate romantic, but I’ve been married before, I dated … but at no point in my life I discovered how to love someone passionately till now. And I was bathing in this love.

But of course, life cannot just make me happy this one fucking time! The dog is a devil, a monstrosity hiding behind this cute appearance (idk it looks ugly to me, but everyone says otherwise). The spoiled always barking demon. And my partner is giving this shitbag the entirety of his time, love, care etc. 24/7 he was next to this nasty stinky creature. We had so many fights because of the dog; he is a full nutter but trust me, I tried to be understanding and supportive. I know why he is this way - he is a dominant person and only found a full submission and “purity” in this dog. So he needs to feel fulfilled, he was alone all his life (aren’t we all?! But we don’t hide behind a dog, right?) and the dog was always there, his true friend. Human are weak that way - they want to belong, or they want someone to belong to them. And here was that dog! My absolute nightmare.

The dog was already 13yo when we started dating, so I thought: 6 more months… 3 years later the dog is a zombie, it needs a diaper 24/7, shits around the house, needs support when shitting, smells like death itself, has UTI and some green discharges, has dementia, hits the walls really hard with its head when walking, walks in circles for hours, has cushions disease, has to be hand fed, cannot see, cannot hear, has arthritis, needs to be stopped from over drinking, wakes up at night every few hours and walks with those nails tsok tsok tsok on the floor - the dog has been in this state for a year already. I sometimes have to sleep on the floor in my office because the dog is barking all night (of course it sleeps next to the bed - priorities!). Even the doctor said it’s time for the dog to go…

Long story short … every morning I wake up hoping this nightmare is over. But here we are … 3 years later. This dog is immortal. And tmw it is it’s birthday and my partner is all excited to celebrate … telling me all the things he’ll do for the dog who doesn’t even know it exists anymore. We fought again, he called me stupid and hateful. He is always respectful until the dog is involved in the conversation. So I locked myself in the office and won’t leave till after tomorrow.

And again I’m thinking: 6 more months and the dog is no more, resist. But I cannot go over him calling me stupid because of the dog. I know he doesn’t mean it, but fuck … I know hope he loves me, I know hope he won’t get another dog … but can I make it? I’m going on vacation in a month for 2 weeks (he is not coming because of the dog). I hope to come back to the dog free house. Pray for me!

I quit kratom 3-4 weeks ago now (after 3 years of heavy use - strictly powder), and my digestive system is all over the place. I finally don’t feel nauseous anymore, but have to go to the bathroom right after every food intake (even a snack). I scheduled the doctor appointment, and currently doing lab tests, but I start being worried at this point.

Have been taking Kratom powder for 3 years: what started as a “little evening tea to relax” became a habit once I discovered that I can sleep only 5 hs, take it from time to time and work all day. From 2g here and there, it grew to 4.5g every 3-4 hs over 2 years and then I’d wake up in the middle of the night with shakes and itchy skin seeking it. This is when I realized how low I fell. 3 years later - I decided that enough is enough. My life was organized around this substance, I had to carry it with me, making sure I have enough. I couldn’t allow this anymore!!!

I was reducing the dosage by 0.2g every 2-3 days, still taking it every 3hs. It was not too hard, I was just very very tired. Went down to 2g every 3hs and 3.5g at night. That’s when the struggle started. It took me 2 agonizing weeks, I felt like I’m carrying a 100kg weight on my shoulders, could not sleep due to RLS, I was hungry and nauseous, my mood was terrible, I was sleepy during the day but restless at night (I took 2 weeks off work), I couldn’t do anything and couldn’t find motivation for 2 weeks. And the shakes, cold sweat, itchy skin, belly hurt… It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But here I was at 0.4g every 4 hs and 2g at night. I held that dose for 2 days, got some beer to take off the edge and fully stopped. I still have RLS even now (3 weeks later), I wake up every 2 hs and have a hard time to fall asleep. But I’m happy! My energy and motivation are slowly coming back. I’ll never take Kratom again, what I went through was nasty.

I wish you all to succeed, you can do it!!! Ask me any questions if you think I can help with an advice. And drink a lot of water during tapering + eat protein.