u/NickTheSynth

Conner's quips or John's fake laugh?

You can't choose neither or both.

It feels like the big man in the sky is toying with me in the most cruel ways possible.

Get into a school I've studied all year to get into? Girlfriend ghosts me. Find a great job doing what I studied for? Big depression cloud forms and follows me around, get really into drugs and smoking, which I had never been into before (a lot of those choices my own, admittedly). Get to a better, healthier place and am about to be okay'd for a driving test I would almost certainly pass? Seizure while riding a bicycle, concussion, chipped tooth, split lip. Also balding, apparently.

What would satisfy him? Fine, you don't want me to drive, at least let me cycle. You don't want me to drink, at least let me smoke a little. You don't want me to cycle? At least for the love of fuck, let me swim alone, unattended in my favourite lake. It seems like he's taking away bits of my life one by one, even though there's people doing far worse who have much less in their lives than me, none of it makes this diagnosis easier to carry.

Not that I was particularly religious before this, but this has completely shaken off any bits of faith I might have had. Also, this is not an affront to any leading figure of the universe who may be reading this and decide to throw a sinus infection my way to teach me a lesson, lol.

I hope this ends for all of us someday and we get to live a little.