u/NightSong897

Hi I have an absent father who is Métis, but my mom is French Canadian.

I want to learn about my heritage, because it feels like it’s a part of me (which it is you cant erase something that’s in your blood).

But no matter how many times I try to go to spaces to learn more, and actually try and find myself my own mom refuses it and dismisses my heritage and is just flat out racist.

I am actively trying to find myself and it just feels like she’s ignoring it. I feel at peace when I was preparing Sage with the indigenous support worker in my school, and I loved learning about the culture and the history.

I love all cultures and have respect, but there is this feeling like I am being tugged since I was younger. Even before my mom just dropped that my dad is First Nation but the thing is, is that she keeps calling many different things which would confuse me. She called him a “Indian” “Métis” “First Nation” “indigenous” and a few racist comments and terms that I am not saying.

She also says that he’s “crazy” because he has schizophrenia, and when I tell her I don’t feel alone in my body and I feel like I am more then one person she also insults me like my dad. Which totally doesn’t hurt to be ripped apart by your own mother🥲

I am basically in a battlefield of trying to learn about my heritage, and finding where I belong because I am in between Métis and French culture. I love both because I can’t ignore one part of me, so I am unsure if it would disrespectful if I were to “merge”.

But yea any advice would be loved, because I literally feel trapped when not able to find myself.

I want to first say that my father is Métis and has never been in my life, for reasons I don’t think I can say openly online. But my mom’s side of the family is French Canadian, my great grandmother came from France and I am pretty sure I am somewhere between 4-5 generations from her.

I am also very open on learning about my heritage because I feel a pull towards it even before I learned about my heritage. I also respect all cultures and religions, and open to learn more I just feel more like home with my heritage.

But I want to kinda talk about Tyler catastrophe, he obviously has a para social relationship with Wilbur. But I want to first talk about him being two spirited, and his beadwork and allegedly having heritage. I don’t want to say he is faking or pretending, but I can’t shake that feeling off.

The amount of money he is charging for the beadwork, and that his product is clearly used and low quality. It rubs me the wrong way, because it feels like he is using the culture like how he did with his allegedly family tree of him having ties with history figures which were lies.

Again I am unsure if what I am feeling is right but I can’t shake it off, I just want to bring my opinion out there and see if anyone else feels he is using cultures or anything to get attention.

Every year once spring comes around Mosquitoes show up and bite me, I HATE THEM like my skin is already itchy as it is. Now I have little pests biting me during the night, and day.

IT IS SO ANNOYING!

Any advice how what to do?