u/Nitrosified

Going through an interesting time in my life right now. Had somewhat of a spiritual awakening 4-5 months ago and I’ve become somewhat dissolved in real life. Drastically different from the bliss I felt 2-3 months ago. For the past week I’ve had a period of disassociation maybe? I’ve always been somewhat grounded but recently it’s been weird and awkward, like I don’t know where to plant my feet. Looking at relationships and life in a more neutral, but removed perspective of not identifying with anything but sorta feeling floaty as I move throughout this. Like I can’t laugh at old jokes or enjoy what I used to enjoy. It feels weird and it’s confusing to navigate.

This is accompanied by a time in my life where I quit my job, attempting to face my fears, and finding what I’m passionate about. Has anybody else been through this and made it out the other end?

Edit after some comments:

Really appreciate the help. Everyone admitting it’s their limited perspective tells me you’re the right people. Hope you get to see another post from me when I figure it out. Appreciate the comfort and acknowledge the reality of it. I’ve made it so far in how I process this world and your words mean a lot to me.

Hi. I would like to ask for any guidance on my mind awake body asleep experiences and what they may be leading to.

I’ve been awakening for a couple of months now and a few months back I had a maba experience where I was still somewhat in fear and then said “light protect me” and my vision turned light and I woke up. It was the scary version of sleep paralysis that actually was my first time somewhat making conscious commands in. Thankful that it ended positively.

Today I had another experience, a nap after eating a meal and i felt myself slip from a conscious nap to deep nap, then a loud ringing frequency from my left ear. I had glimpses of quieter higher pitched ringing coming from my right. I was going back and forth in this state, one from light fear to consciously commanding any negative entities to leave and still experiencing ringing from both ears. Prior to this nap I asked for guidance and strength to overcome a stomach ache and during this MABA state I felt like a light pressure on the left side of my abdomen/ribcage. Not painful but the pressure was there.

I snapped awake after the pressure was removed from my side. Didn’t know exactly what I experienced, I was wondering if anyone could provide insight?

Started getting a lot more consistent ear ringing recently. Previously (last 3 months) it was really light and would usually pop in and out during the day, usually at an important decision and/or key understanding. This last week it has been just pure energy. Always hear it, usually quieter in the morning and picks up during the day. Right now it’s both ears just in sync with each other.

I’m not concerned or annoyed by it, but honestly I wonder what it means? I haven’t experienced it this much before. I’ve been doing a couple gateway tapes here and there and earlier today I did one and it seems like it’s picked up because of that?

Anyone else?

I’m at a crossroads in spiritual growth and making ends meet in materiality, and I’m having a hard time finding an opportunity of quitting my job and finding something more meaningful.

I’m not afraid of the change or even quitting its just I don’t wanna jump off a cliff without a parachute. I’ve been following a lot of spiritual healers and saw it could be one way to make money, but I’m still pretty new in the game and I’m thinking I’m correct in assessing that. I’m mid 20s if that helps for reference. Is there anything you’d be willing to share that might provide some insight? Was there ever an period where you really started believing in this source/love stuff (balled my eyes out after the void moon after a day of straight confusion getting lost in questions and feel like a whole new person now) and experiencing a period of not knowing if I should just quit my job or wait for a better opportunity?

I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas. Thank you!

https://preview.redd.it/ioary7jvl0yg1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=cdb3bee287e3755dc42c89803ba65acdbf0912f0

Been totally losing it lately. Very paradoxical thoughts of strong knowing and unknowing. Any insights?