My girlfriend of 10 years has a FeetFinder account and never told me. How do I bring it up?
My girlfriend (26F) and I (27M) have been together for 10 years. We’ve lived together for the past four, and despite a few rough patches, we’ve always managed to work through things.
A couple of years ago, our sex life slowed down. Around that time, I made a mistake by texting another woman for a few days. Nothing physical or emotional happened, but my girlfriend found the messages and understandably lost some trust in me. We worked through it, and things eventually got better.
Recently, money has been tighter. For years I covered all of our rent, but after some financial setbacks, she’s been helping by paying for groceries and even covered my share of rent one month.
Last night, I picked up her phone to silence notifications and noticed an open tab for FeetFinder. Curiosity got the better of me, and I found that she has a profile with a two listings. One posted in 2022 and one posted that fucking night when I left to grab some food while we were arguing . As far as I could tell, she hasn’t sold anything, but I also saw an old message from 2022 where she had contacted a potential buyer (44M from Arkansas with a ford logo as his pfp😂) it’s just funny to me as well how she hasn’t sold anything which is why I’m just like .__.
I’m not necessarily upset about the feet pictures themselves. If she’s trying to make extra money, I can understand that but why that way? And if she’s into that kind of thing why won’t she just tell me? We’re very comfortable with each other so it doesn’t even make sense but I get it in a sense we all like something we don’t want anyone to know about. Another thing that bothers me is that she never mentioned it, especially since the account appears to have existed long before we started having financial problems.
My first reaction was to think about making a fake account to see how far she’d be willing to go, as far as sending her $100 and asking to see her tits but I realized that would just be setting a trap, and that’s not the kind of relationship I want. ESP if shoes were on the other foot and I was doing something of the sort but hiding it, I would hate for my partner to set me up to get a gotcha moment, I rather just talk to her.
I’m planning to talk to her tomorrow. I don’t want to start an argument—I just want to understand why she felt the need to hide it and whether there’s anything else I should know.
How would you approach this conversation ?