r/WhatMenDontSay

My married coworker not only agreed to wear shorts like I asked her too but also wore the shirt I like seeing her wear as well what does this mean? I did it just because i love looking at her in shorts. I didn't think she would not only that she even wore my favorite shirt too.

I think shes attracted to me

I know not all women are like that and I am happy that women are more and more open to talking about it. But this constatation hit me like a brick wall this morning. I was scrolling when I realized that a lot of women doesnt associate desire for sex and need for intimacy because of how much they receive of each compared to men.

To them its 2 different things (almost completly separate) and if a men receive intimacy from his partner he should be contempt with that because its what most important to them. Most women feel desired all their life, even before it should be expected, and sexualized. To them someone wanting to have sex with them is just normal compared to having a partner who wants to connect with them.

But most men will go for a long time without feeling desired, some will never. So when their partner who they choose to spend their life with stop desiring them it hit in a way a lot of women cant understand unless they make a real effort to see it from their point of view. Because their reality of what they lived through is so different. Same reason why some men dont understand why their partner rescent a decrease in other form of intimacy.

Where a lot of men in the past decades have make a significant effort to understand women better(genz are the most involved partner and father) women have been told repeteadly they arent responsible for their partner happiness. They have been told that men should be happy enough that they accept to spend their life with them that they shouldnt expect more. That they should always prioritize themself. But a relationship doesnt work like that. It takes two to tango.

That's in 5 weeks. I am done with this shit quite frankly. My mom is on vacation right now and I wouldn't wanna make her go on a plane knowing I am dead, but she is back next week. I am done.

No one knows my struggles. I'm ugly, autistic, have no friends, have never had a girlfriend, my coworkers don't care about me (I make ok money at my job but that is it). I have no desire to fix these things. I don't even identify as a lonely man, just as a lonely person.

Also, I don't want any advice.

My wife always taunts me for my job given she is a homemaker. As a homemaker, she has some responsibility but also a choice to do what she wants to do and she does that. I support her with household work over and above what she does. Yet she taunts me with my job. I am curious to know how many of men would prefer not doing a job or follow their passion without worrying about bills and expenses?

25 year old virgin, who is striving for sex the whole day. I masturbate a lot, during my childhood, due to my fathers fear I used to masturbate quickly in washroom. That been recorded in my mind I now do whenever pussy is revealed in the porn. Can't hold more than 1 mins

I tried stop start method still it didn't work. I am so feared that am I having pme? Is my dick sensitive?

How to improve this?

I never had sex, this is my masturbation experience.

Hello all, I'm(31M) trying to figure out how to deal and make peace with this~~ I completely understand that If I am dating someone if they want to cheat they will cheat, and I can't stop that. I personally don't care if a partner cheats on me, I'll just dump her. But what I am struggling with is what if I dont find out, how do you deal with that ?

Looking for Men's input into this

(English isn’t my first language, so I hope I’ve written something clear.)
I’m 19 years old. In my country, there’s a national exam after high school, and your score on that exam determines whether you can go to college. I’ve been preparing for this exam for the past three years to get into medical school. I’ve taken it twice and failed. I’ll be taking it for the third time in 32 days, and I’m not in a good place—I’m exhausted both physically (I’m 6’1” and weigh 275 pounds) and mentally. I’ve always wanted to be a great person—to make a lot of money, start a business, do good work, be successful, and become the best version of myself to make my family proud. But I haven’t even managed to pass this university exam, and I’ve started to doubt my own intelligence and potential. I’d rather die than be an average person. During this time, I didn’t have a girlfriend, I couldn’t work out, and I couldn’t socialize. I’m not an antisocial person, but because my mind wasn’t at ease, I couldn’t socialize effectively. Right now, my mental health is very poor; I can’t pull myself together. I need to study and get my head together—there are 32 days left until my exam. If I can’t succeed this year either, I don’t know what I’ll do. Do you think I’ve wasted these years of my life? I’ll be 20 in October—my peers are either in college or already in the workforce. Do you think I’m too late in life?

Again, I'll try to keep this as short as possible 😅 I’ve noticed a pattern in myself when it comes to online talking stages. Most of these conversations are with guys I meet online, and quite a few would realistically be long-distance for a while if they went further, so texting carries more weight early on.

In real life, I’m actually pretty comfortable with slower connection building. At work, for example, I’ve naturally become close with people over time just through day-to-day interaction and things developing without overthinking it. I’m also not someone who’s constantly online or texting all day (I’ve even been called a "ghost," "stranger," and "Ms. Absent").

But online is different for me. I start overthinking effort balance quickly - who's asking questions, who’s carrying the conversation, whether interest feels mutual - and once that kicks in, I hold myself back from texting first or showing interest because I don’t want to end up in that "chasing bare minimum" dynamic again - I've had enough experiences where it felt one-sided and made me pull back.

It creates this contradiction where I want to be open and interested, but I also start rationing it to protect myself from getting ahead in something that might not be mutual.

So, I guess my question is: "How do you stay open and engaged in early online stages without defaulting to self-protection when things feel slightly unbalanced?"

This probably would've been a better title now that i think about it 🤔"How do I stop assuming disinterest when I’m not getting the same level of curiosity back, without burning out or shutting down?"

I'll try to keep this as short as possible. For these past sixteen months (22F), I’ve chatted with over 200 guys online. As an introvert, it’s been pretty draining and led to cycles of burnout where I disappear for weeks/months to recover. I like deep conversations, but I notice I switch off when I feel like I’m the one carrying the interaction - asking most of the questions, keeping things going, and being the main source of curiosity. When that starts to feel one-sided, I pull back quietly and eventually just stop replying.

On the other side, even when I like someone, I’ll start overthinking effort balance and whether I’m the one pushing the conversation forward. Once that kicks in, my replies get shorter and I slowly disengage without really meaning to. I think after enough experiences with ghosting, inconsistency, or low-effort conversations, I’ve started developing a strong “pattern recognition” mindset where I expect it to repeat.

Now I’m stuck between wanting connection and partnership, but also feeling tired before things even properly start.

TL;DR: I either over-invest in conversations or pull away when I feel like I’m carrying them, and I’m trying to stop assuming imbalance = disinterest without burning out or shutting down early.

So we had a flirty friendship for like 9 months he even told my friend that he likes me and she told me that he was always yapping about me, he complimented me everyday like my nails, hair, outfit, and he would try to befriend my close friends AND he was like you look pretty today multiple times. We even went to a party together and we were extremely touchy.
Yesterday he was like I can't see you in a relationship with anyone I said why that's so mean to say and he said oh you reject everyone because you're too good for them. I'm confused and I need to know what a man or an outsider would think.

guys, please leave some honest opinions. had a dude walk out on me while having sex, said he was getting texts from his parents and had to go home. kinda laughed as he was going cause "he felt bad". offered to eat me out before leaving. Texted me random shit the next day but seemed distant. Haven't seen him since last week when this happened.

The only reason I can think of is him feeling like my boobs looked funny. I just wanna hear if I'm being delusional or if that's kind of a possibility.

I am struggling to believe it. I've had a few people say that guys don't do that and that it's really weird. Like damn i'm so chopped that you couldn't get your nut off :/All these questions flood my head, I can't seem to let the situation rest .

I am a 22M with a 21F. A bit of backstory, she has lied to me about guys in the past and denied the truth etc, and also slandered my name to them saying I have assaulted her sexually which I never have . she eventually said she was sorry and said she doesn’t want to lose me and that she wants to be with me and sent me a birthday card with thoughtful words. She said she didn’t feel loved so I kind of took the blame for it. We stayed together, she was very caring for about 1 months after I found everything out which made me think maybe she is sorry genuinely.
The past week she has been acting cold and distant again, and I obviously notice patterns now but I’m not sure if it’s my gut or my trust issues now. So I asked her if she is talking to other guys, she got very angry at me and defensive, I didn’t want to upset her, she told me she’s just on her period and she wants to be left alone, I’m not sure why she couldn’t just communicate this to me. Her reaction to my question has me thinking twice about things and I’m not sure what it means

This is my first ever reddit post, so bear with me...

I (37M) accidentally got my girlfriend (35F) pregnant after only knowing her 12 months and having a mostly long-distance relationship with her up until then.

We both worked away and travelled a lot in our spare time. I work offshore, and she was a sound engineer who travelled with theatre shows. We met on a dating app and bonded over our love for food, travel, and partying. We kept in touch and saw each other when we were both back home, and we really hit it off.

Then COVID happened. Her career came to a halt, obviously with the lockdowns, etc. But I was an "essential worker" being that I work in the enegery sector. When I was home, we spent all our time together. We went on bike rides the country (breaking locksown rules, of course) with cheese and wine. We drank all the time together and talked about life and our past and future aspirations. We probably drank a little too much. It was almost every day. Then she got a job working in a bar, which she hated.

And then I got her pregnant. We weren't particularly careful, and we'd always said that if she became pregnant that we would get an abortion. But when it came down to it the guilt was too much and I said I didn't want to have an abortion (I also have a lot if Irish Catholic friends that helped me come to this conclusion).

At the time, she was so angry with me, but I think she knew deep down that the decision was right.

We now have a daughter who is nearly 5 years old, and she is the best thing that ever happened to me.

The only problem is my girlfriend, who I think resents me for ruining her career. She obviously can't work away for months on end now. I still go away offshore, and she makes comments about me leaving and having time to myself and about me not having to give up my career. Truth is, I hate my job! I just like only working 50% of the year. I get paid well, too, which she also hates. She thinks I rub it in her face, but I only want to make her life easier and provide for the three of us. I pay the majority of the bills, and my daughter is about to go to private school after the summer. We're so lucky we are in this position financially while most of the country is struggling.

It's been a nightmare with her right from the moment she found out she was pregnant. She mourned the loss of her job and also carried a baby all while not wanting to be pregnant. We both quit drinking and smoking while she was pregnant, and I quickly found out that it was the alcohol that made us talk so freely with each other. Without it, she is like a closed book.

I found out she had post natal depression when my daughter was around 2 years old. She told me on our first weekend away together since having our daughter ,after having around 8 pints in Dublin. She said she'd been having suicidal thoughts but made me swear I wouldn't tell her parents. I didn't tell them in the end. Maybe I should have. I thought if I betrayed her trust, she would never tell me anything again, and she didn't open up to me much as it was. I used to worry so much about it when I went away to work.

She would go into fits of rage when we argued and say the most horrible things to me.

She is also a workaholic, which is not great when you're a full time mum. She quit working until my daughter was 2 years old and then went back to working full time and we put my daughter in nursery 5 days a week.

She originally worked self self-employed taking on local less paying amateur theatre jobs and events but had to work it around my rotations which she absolutely resented. She got her mum and dad to look after our daughter a lot during those times so she could work while I was away and then felt like she couldn't ask them to look after her when she was off so she could get some time to herself. She worked so much that we never got any time together and sometimes she would work days and nights to the point she would burn out and then take it out on me when she was knackered. The house work would also be neglected while I was away and she can't stand living in a house that isn't tidy so any down time she did have would be spent cleaning and organising.

We live in a city that I'm not from, I have no friends or family in the area. I've no social life at all but I don't particularly mind too much as I just love being a dad now. But my whole life is work and then taking care of the house and being a dad when I'm back. I'm not complaining at all, but I don't feel she appreciates what I do. It just feels like constant resentment.

We've nearly split of loads of times and I even booked us into couples therapy which hasn't helped (she thought me and the therapist were in cahoots).

It's gotten to the point now that I completely resent her. I love my daughter so much and the only problem is my relationship with my girlfriend. I should be the happiest man in the world and I'm not.

Splitting up seems so awful. I don't think I'd be able to afford private school for her if we split up. I'd end up living in a shitty flat, not waking up to my daughter climbing into bed with us every morning. It would also break my daughters heart if we split up. My parents split up when I was young and I know how shitty it is for a kid when that happens. I just don't know what to do anymore. The guilt is killing me. My girlfriend isn't a bad person, she's a great mum. She just has a lot of issues that need to be resolved but her worst nightmare is talking about how she feels. I think that's the biggest problem, lack of communication.

I don't know what I'm asking for, maybe advice? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Ask me any questions and I'll answer

I know someone that has been dating someone, for 3 years. During that 3 years, he cheated on her repeatedly. They got engaged, 6 months later got married. He cheated on her up until the night before the wedding. Then cut ties with all his FWBs.. he said that men cannot control their lust, and men can love someone and want to spend the rest of their life with them, but still want to slept around with others. He said that after he is married he will stop.

Is any of this true? Can men be in love with someone, and still cheat on them over and over? Is list that hard to control? If so.. why can he all of a sudden stop so easily once marriage is labeled. Can men easily just put women into boxes and compartmentalize ? Or can he change his habits now that he will be married and always has access to sex?

Hey guys
I have no dating experience and I’m just trying to get to dating but the thing is that i can’t even imagine asking someone out or even flirting or something
I have been raised in a quiet reserved family and even in my high school I didn’t talked to women that much
It’s been 1-2 years since I’ve grown a lot and gained a lot of confidence because of doing gym and now i can talk to ppl/initiate conversations with women too
But the thing is i feel like i shouldn’t talk to women to just ask them out or doing cold approach
I ask a lot of people what to do but eventually i can’t decide what to act on

Hey guys

I'm 24 years old working as a Senior Engineer in Automobile industry. Since I was 20, I aged rapidly in terms of looks. I don't drink nor smoke. I don't even eat much outside. I go to gym almost regularly. I eat eggs but not meat. Yet, at 24, I look like someone who's 30+. It could be because I have a thick and dense beard. Despite the regular maintenance and short trimming, the density makes it look like I'm more mature. Even my arms are full of hair which I shorten once in a while.

Recently, my cousin who is just 11 years old told me that I look 30.

Many people even at my workplace assumed I'm older and were surprised to know I'm just 24. Moreover, I'm losing hair due to genetics. The thinning began at the crown. I consulted a dermatologist too. They suggested a hair serum. I started using it regularly. I should look for the results with a long term use.

Though I accepted that I look how I look, be it older or younger, sometimes it is hard to look at myself when all I see in the mirror is a young guy who looks old. There were multiple instances where I was approached by people who conduct corporate surveys for employees over 28. They assumed I was over 30.

And I'm not feeling confident about finding a partner now or later because girls my age would just look away assuming I'm not their age. Anyway, this point isn't something that bothers me much but it's still valid.

To be honest, I deal with things that are more than my age too. Be it at work or family. My father is a Stage 4 cancer patient since 2024. My mother left her teaching job to take care of my father. So I'm the sole earner of my family since 2024. I have been handling my household, medical, groceries and everything. Even at work, I do better than my seniors who are a couple of years older than me. (This might sound like I'm bragging but it's true).

I even had this thought - "what's wrong in looking older when I'm already dealing with mature men's stuff?"

But my confidence is going low whenever I'm looking in the mirror. So how do I feel confident?

What can I do? Does looking young matters? Should I be bothered about this?

Thank You in advance, brothers.

It's a genuine question. I know it's incredibly pathetic, but I've wanted to know for a while now. It really seems like romance isn't for me, and everytime someone seems interested in me it turns out I was wrong and they were just being friendly. I hate feeling like I'm just seeing interest where there is none just because I'm so so lonely. I love having friends and meeting new people non-romantically, don't get me wrong, but come on...

So please just tell me how it feels like to be looked in the eyes in a special way. How does it feel to finally stop being lonely? To find out all the scary nights were worth it because the feeling ended up being so good. I dream of arriving at that place one day, but I don't think it's going to come. So please please please, describe it to me. To feel like you're finally in the place where you're meant to be, and at peace.

I hope this doesn't read overdramatic, I don't mean to do poetry. But I think these things most nights. It doesn't consume every moment of my life, but it's there often. It's a constant. Please tell me how it feels to be looked at in the eyes by a partner.