If a guy is curious about trying anal play, does that make him less masculine? Or is it just viewed as sexual stimulation. Can anyone who considers themselves 100% straight be ok with putting something in their ass? Bonus: is there anyone that views themselves 100% straight that has done it weigh in on this please?
So.. this is my experience, and I'd like to remind people of the "no judgement" purpose of the sub:
I'm kind of hypersexual. I've always been attracted to most women my age; strangers, good friends, even other people's wives and girlfriends. Doesn't really matter to my monke-brain. Naturally, it's socially acceptable to want to fondle some people's genitals (e.g. strangers), and not others' (e.g. female friends), so I'll usually deny this.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but my hypothesis is that a significant portion of (heterosexual) men are like this, but literally no women are.
From what I can gather, women expect their platonic friends to not be attracted to them, and considers the thought gross/creepy/objectifying. Thus, it seems like it's impossible to explain my sexuality to them: I can like and respect a friend, and still want to see her naked. Those are not mutually exclusive, and it doesn't detract from my respect for her. I feel like women either can't or want to even attempt to understand this - or they simply don't believe that it's even remotely normal, and find the thought deeply disturbing. Again, to me, it has nothing to do with objectification or a lack of respect for women; the friendship and the attraction are both real at the same time.
So my question is this: How many of you have some degree of this hypersexual attitude? Do you feel like this kind of male sexuality is socially unacceptable and taboo, and that's why we don't talking about this? Are we collectively gaslighting women, because we know their way of seeing things is the only acceptable default?
I’m 25, she’s 23.
We have been together for around two years seriously, more on and off before.
But our relationship has been good, truly, etc. but recently I can’t help but find myself unattracted to her and she’s starting to notice, seeing that I’m acting more distant etc.
Thing is I love her and I don’t want to lose this relationship over something like that.
But when I met her, the appearance, the vibe I got from her was different. And as we both got comfortable around each other we both let go a bit, her way more than me.
Like she gained some weight and it’s bothering me especially because it changes her face so much.
I tried to talk about it with her kindly but that backfired of course.
It’s just what do I do, any advice.
I mean I was used for emotional intimacy because someone else's partner couldn't or wouldn't meet those needs. They turned to me when they were lonely, when they needed comfort, attention, or connection, and I gave them pieces of myself believing they genuinely cared. But when their partner was present again, I became an afterthought.
That's what hurts the most. I wasn't chosen I was convenient. They keep me emotionally tied to them, making me feel special just enough that I don't walk away, only to become distant and cold once they've gotten what they needed. Then, when they're lonely again, they come back as if nothing happened. It's a cycle that leaves me feeling less like a person and more like something they keep on a shelf until it's useful again.
I feel gross. I feel disposable. Like a broken toy that's only picked up when someone wants to play with it, then tossed aside the moment it's no longer entertaining or necessary. A toy doesn't get to decide when it's loved. It just waits, hoping this time someone will keep holding onto it instead of putting it back in the box. That's how I feel like I've been worn down by someone else's loneliness until I don't recognize myself anymore.
The worst part is that, despite everything, some part of me still wants to be her friend. I hate admitting that. I don't know if it's because I miss the version of her that made me feel seen, because I keep hoping she'll suddenly treat me differently, or because I'm holding onto a person who only seemed to exist in the moments she needed me. I know this friendship hurts me, and yet I still find myself wishing things could go back to the good moments. That makes me feel weak. It makes me feel pathetic. It makes me angry at myself for caring about someone who doesn't seem to care for me in the same way.
I'm angry at her for using my heart as a place to rest whenever hers felt empty. I'm angry that she made me feel important just long enough to keep me from walking away. But I'm also angry at myself because I ignored the feeling that something wasn't right. I kept hoping that if I was patient enough, kind enough, understanding enough, maybe I'd finally matter outside of the moments when I was convenient.
I'm embarrassed by all of it. Embarrassed that I let myself become so emotionally invested. Embarrassed that I kept accepting crumbs because I convinced myself they were enough. Embarrassed that I still miss someone who hurt me. I keep replaying every conversation in my head wondering if everyone else could see what I couldn't that I was just filling a space someone else left empty.
What makes it even harder is that cheating, in any form, has always been something I despise. My dad cheated on my mom, and I watched what that betrayal did to her. It shattered her confidence, her trust, and parts of herself that never fully came back. I grew up knowing how destructive infidelity can be, which is why realizing I became part of an emotional affair even if I wasn't the one in the relationship and even if I didn't fully understand what was happening at first makes me sick. It clashes with everything I believe in. I never wanted to be connected to something that could hurt another person like that, and carrying that realization fills me with shame. I know, logically, that I didn't create this situation by myself. I wasn't the one who had a partner and chose to seek emotional intimacy somewhere else. Those were her decisions. But logic doesn't erase how I feel. I still feel like I played a part, and that's a weight I don't know how to put down.
Some days I just want to throw myself away the same way she made me feel thrown away. Like if I'm this broken, this used, this stained by the whole experience, maybe I belong in the trash with the rest of the things people don't want anymore. I know that's not the truth. I know my worth isn't determined by the way someone treated me. But knowing something in my head doesn't make my heart believe it yet.
I'm exhausted from carrying the weight of someone else's emotional needs while mine are ignored. I'm tired of feeling like my value only exists when someone else has an empty space they want me to fill. I don't want to keep living like a broken toy waiting for someone to remember I exist. I want to believe that one day I'll stop measuring my worth by whether someone chooses me only when it's convenient, and start believing I deserve to be chosen consistently, honestly, and without conditions.
Being an unattractive man in my 20s is the worst thing in life. I’ve watched all my siblings get into relationships while I rot in loneliness. It’s truly one of the worst things to have so many unattractive features. Yes, I understand that grooming yourself and going to the gym help, but they didn’t help me. My genetics are genuinely terrible. I don’t think any woman would get past my appearance and want to actually get to know me.
My girlfriend (26F) and I (27M) have been together for 10 years. We’ve lived together for the past four, and despite a few rough patches, we’ve always managed to work through things.
A couple of years ago, our sex life slowed down. Around that time, I made a mistake by texting another woman for a few days. Nothing physical or emotional happened, but my girlfriend found the messages and understandably lost some trust in me. We worked through it, and things eventually got better.
Recently, money has been tighter. For years I covered all of our rent, but after some financial setbacks, she’s been helping by paying for groceries and even covered my share of rent one month.
Last night, I picked up her phone to silence notifications and noticed an open tab for FeetFinder. Curiosity got the better of me, and I found that she has a profile with a two listings. One posted in 2022 and one posted that fucking night when I left to grab some food while we were arguing . As far as I could tell, she hasn’t sold anything, but I also saw an old message from 2022 where she had contacted a potential buyer (44M from Arkansas with a ford logo as his pfp😂) it’s just funny to me as well how she hasn’t sold anything which is why I’m just like .__.
I’m not necessarily upset about the feet pictures themselves. If she’s trying to make extra money, I can understand that but why that way? And if she’s into that kind of thing why won’t she just tell me? We’re very comfortable with each other so it doesn’t even make sense but I get it in a sense we all like something we don’t want anyone to know about. Another thing that bothers me is that she never mentioned it, especially since the account appears to have existed long before we started having financial problems.
My first reaction was to think about making a fake account to see how far she’d be willing to go, as far as sending her $100 and asking to see her tits but I realized that would just be setting a trap, and that’s not the kind of relationship I want. ESP if shoes were on the other foot and I was doing something of the sort but hiding it, I would hate for my partner to set me up to get a gotcha moment, I rather just talk to her.
I’m planning to talk to her tomorrow. I don’t want to start an argument—I just want to understand why she felt the need to hide it and whether there’s anything else I should know.
How would you approach this conversation ?
Women have this idea that "just put yourself out there" means you can score a date easily or make new friends easily. I feel like women just simply do not understand a man has to be charming, confident, assertive, bold, and a lot of other traits. Women are used to being on the receiving end. They are often the ones being asked out.
Now I am not complaining or hating on women about this. All I am saying is that the male experience is such a foreign concept to women. Even my female friends do not comprehend how being a man is actually like.
I saw a tiktok where a woman posts about how her bumble date is glued to his phone the whole time and all the comments where calling the man a pig (which I do not disagree with). But I also saw another tiktok from a man showing how his date is glued to her phone but all the comments where in the lines of "if she's on her phone the whole time, you should look inwards" or that the guy has poor social skills. People will blame men regardless of the situation.
does it mean anything or am I expecting too much?
Ir seems every time we see a relationship post on certsin very popular subs, its always going to find a way to blame the penis in the room, and Im sick of it.
Why is it when a woman psots about her partner liking thirst traps, everyone tears shreds off the man for "lusting after other women", but when its a man posting about how his poster is POSTING thirst traps, everyone tears shreds off the man for "controlling womens bodies".
Why is it ok for a woman to post thirst traps, which is ONLY done to get likes, but its not ok for men to like a photo?
I (25F) love my boyfriend (21M) very much. I love spending time with him and we do plan on moving in together within a year. But he is ALWAYS at my place.
I’m in a studio ADU. He stays the night every night, and it makes it hard to sleep which especially sucks because I’m up early every morning. It’s a small space so clutter accumulates quickly especially with two people. He also makes it hard for me to go to bed earlier than him because he’ll doom scroll on the couch or watch his shows or type loudly on his laptop. Also his apartment is disgusting so sleeping there isn’t an option I’m willing to consider.
I just want a few nights to myself. I really do love him but the constant company isn’t good for me. What can I say to let him know I need space without hurting him??
TLDR he’s around my apartment too often and I can’t get anything done. I want to tell him to get out a few nights without hurting his feelings.
I like really skinny girls with big noses. Like the Ursula girl from Spiderman, think Dobbie from Harry potter in Paris Hilton body 😅.
Every time I see that phenotype my heart starts beating.
I feel like the word just dehumanizes men. If they are being sexist, then just call them a sexist. Why does it matter if they get sex or not? IDK why Incel is the go-to word for a sexist man when plenty of misogynistic men I met can get ladies easily. Plus I feel like the word is hardly applied on women who behave entitled (e.g. fat women who demand men date them). Funny how only men are only ones that get this label.
You know your depression management isn't going well when your therapist offers you the option to call them without an appointment or fee. You know, just in case you, "feel like you need someone to talk to."
In all seriousness, I appreciate their gesture, but knowing me I don't think I'd ever be able to take advantage of that offer.
Hi I am (21) female dating a (22) male. We have had sex frequently for the past year and have been dating for a year. We have dated twice now, once for 5 months and this second time for a year. He has been with many partners previously, while he is the first person I’ve had sex with.
Today we were talking and I told him that I needed more words of affection as well as for him to initiate sex. He started to cry, I’ve never seen him cry, and said that he has zero sex drive. He says that he has had no sex drive for the past year and instead would rather sleep but he doesn’t know why. He says that he’s still attracted to me, and tells me that I am way out of his league.
But maintains that the only reason he had sex with me is because I initiated it. I asked if he wants to see a doctor but that made him break down again saying he doesn’t want to be on a pill for the rest of his life.
I’ve never really had this issue before with men, but instead the opposite where men can’t get enough of me, so needing some assistance on this.
I’m not sure really how to feel, is this typical? Do we get him checked for the doctor? Is there anything I can do? Any help appreciated!!