u/Tasty_Engineering_19

Hi, this is my first girlfriend and we’ve been dating for 3 months known each other for 6 months. We haven’t had any conversation about boundaries ext.

I feel that we need to start setting them, but I don’t want to sound controlling or anything like that. But I just don’t know how to start the conversation or what to speak about. I have things that are there, but it’s just actually getting it off my chest and saying to her that we need to set some boundaries.

How would you approach this/like to be approached about it? And the best advice to give me for this relationship. Thanks.

M(18) F(18). So I’ve known this girl for 5 months, and have been dating for 3 months now. Exactly 10 days after I asked her to be my girlfriend (she’d already met my family and I’d met hers.) my mother did a 18 and 21st joint birthday party. Obviously was going to a messy one as it’s 2 big birthdays.

In the night, I was absolutely smashed but can clearly remember my best friend telling me about a past experience that I kinda knew of… but she never properly told me until I found out then she told me in bed that night. Okay I can handle that, beacuse you’ve told me not given me a comfort lie.

Fart forward maybe about 5-6 weeks later, I was away and we are up at like 5am still messaging beacuse neither of us can sleep. And we start going into deeper conversations… and I ask her how many it’s been and she tells me 2. But the first one was the very bad last experience… and the second time the guy practically begged for it to happen and she gave in. Okay I’m fine with that beacuse you’ve told me not given me a comfort lie.

Now we’re here to current date, and my brother makes a joke about it being +10 and I reply with it’s not that. No where near that. And he goes I actually know the number she told me at the party. And I don’t say anything waiting for him to tell me and he says it’s 5.

So she told my brother 5, tells me 3. I’ve been lied to, is she doing this to protect me? I’d rather her tell me the honest truth that I can handle than a stupid comfort lie!

Now it’s making me think, what else is she lying about, is she hair lying to me the whole time? If I’d of known originally it would’ve been fine I can handle it move on so forth. But finding out that it was a lie by a completely different person about something I see that both of you should know in a relationship, and then you go and lie to me?

It takes a long time to build trust, but you can loose it in the matter of seconds.

I feel like that, I feel like I’ve just been placed on a surgeon table and cut open with no grace and no purpose to operate.

I thought she was honest. But clearly not. Now I don’t know what to do, it’s my first serious relationship, and I feel like a total mug.

Any advice would be solely appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Hope you have a nice day.

M(18) F(18). So I’ve known this girl for 5 months, and have been dating for 3 months now. Exactly 10 days after I asked her to be my girlfriend (she’d already met my family and I’d met hers.) my mother did a 18 and 21st joint birthday party. Obviously was going to a messy one as it’s 2 big birthdays.

In the night, I was absolutely smashed but can clearly remember my best friend telling me about a past experience that I kinda knew of… but she never properly told me until I found out then she told me in bed that night. Okay I can handle that, beacuse you’ve told me not given me a comfort lie.

Fart forward maybe about 5-6 weeks later, I was away and we are up at like 5am still messaging beacuse neither of us can sleep. And we start going into deeper conversations… and I ask her how many it’s been and she tells me 2. But the first one was the very bad last experience… and the second time the guy practically begged for it to happen and she gave in. Okay I’m fine with that beacuse you’ve told me not given me a comfort lie.

Now we’re here to current date, and my brother makes a joke about it being +10 and I reply with it’s not that. No where near that. And he goes I actually know the number she told me at the party. And I don’t say anything waiting for him to tell me and he says it’s 5.

So she told my brother 5, tells me 3. I’ve been lied to, is she doing this to protect me? I’d rather her tell me the honest truth that I can handle than a stupid comfort lie!

Now it’s making me think, what else is she lying about, is she hair lying to me the whole time? If I’d of known originally it would’ve been fine I can handle it move on so forth. But finding out that it was a lie by a completely different person about something I see that both of you should know in a relationship, and then you go and lie to me?

It takes a long time to build trust, but you can loose it in the matter of seconds.

I feel like that, I feel like I’ve just been placed on a surgeon table and cut open with no grace and no purpose to operate.

I thought she was honest. But clearly not. Now I don’t know what to do, it’s my first serious relationship, and I feel like a total mug.

Any advice would be solely appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Hope you have a nice day.

M(18) F(18). So I’ve known this girl for 5 months, and have been dating for 3 months now. Exactly 10 days after I asked her to be my girlfriend (she’d already met my family and I’d met hers.) my mother did a 18 and 21st joint birthday party. Obviously was going to a messy one as it’s 2 big birthdays.

In the night, I was absolutely smashed but can clearly remember my best friend telling me about a past experience that I kinda knew of… but she never properly told me until I found out then she told me in bed that night. Okay I can handle that, beacuse you’ve told me not given me a comfort lie.

Fart forward maybe about 5-6 weeks later, I was away and we are up at like 5am still messaging beacuse neither of us can sleep. And we start going into deeper conversations… and I ask her how many it’s been and she tells me 2. But the first one was the very bad last experience… and the second time the guy practically begged for it to happen and she gave in. Okay I’m fine with that beacuse you’ve told me not given me a comfort lie.

Now we’re here to current date, and my brother makes a joke about it being +10 and I reply with it’s not that. No where near that. And he goes I actually know the number she told me at the party. And I don’t say anything waiting for him to tell me and he says it’s 5.

So she told my brother 5, tells me 3. I’ve been lied to, is she doing this to protect me? I’d rather her tell me the honest truth that I can handle than a stupid comfort lie!

Now it’s making me think, what else is she lying about, is she hair lying to me the whole time? If I’d of known originally it would’ve been fine I can handle it move on so forth. But finding out that it was a lie by a completely different person about something I see that both of you should know in a relationship, and then you go and lie to me?

It takes a long time to build trust, but you can loose it in the matter of seconds.

I feel like that, I feel like I’ve just been placed on a surgeon table and cut open with no grace and no purpose to operate.

I thought she was honest. But clearly not. Now I don’t know what to do, it’s my first serious relationship, and I feel like a total mug.

Any advice would be solely appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Hope you have a nice day.