u/No-Entrance-4213

Im nannying a 17 month old who just does not sleep. Hes horrendously irritated and angry all the time, I assume because of not sleeping.

He has roughly 5-6 bottles of full fat milk per day with the parents at the weekends (the doctors have been involved in this but the parents are saying they are wrong) and this includes 2 night feeds. I usually come into work with 4-5 half drank bottles on the side from when I leave at 5pm.

With me he has a pretty basic schedule of breakfast, bottle at 9:30ish, lunch at roughly 11:30, nap at 12:00, snack around 2ish and a bottle at 3:30.

The issue is, he does not have a bedtime or a schedule with the parents nor does he sleep more than roughly an hour midday. Im really struggling as I don’t get much downtime and his moods because he’s just constantly looking for a bottle are horrendous.

I assume he is waking early and ‘wanting a bottle to go back to sleep’ but he has a huge lunch and desert before going down for his nap. Hes struggling to stay awake for more than 3-4 hours per day which is also a concern.

The parents don’t want him sleeping more than 2 hours per day, so this could be contributing as they’ll wake him at an hour or an hour and a half…

But then the issue becomes that hes waking at say 1pm, and tired again by 4pm and wanting to sleep. Im at a loss.. if he wakes ‘crying’ the parents rush upstairs (they work from home) to tell me he needs a bottle which I think it’s more comfort than hunger.

I’ve removed multiple posts i have posted genuinely because I’m scared my employer will find it somehow.

I love the advice I get from here and everyone is so supportive, but has anyone else been worried about this?

Sorry this will be long but hoping other Nanny’s can help me.. im currently looking after a 17 month old and Ive had him for nearly a year now. Dad works from home which in the beginning was stressful with him over stepping and getting involved a lot of the time.

Im working a horrendous amount of overtime with only 2 days off in the past 3 weeks and Im working 1-2 hours over my shift time during the days in the week as well. This is because the family went on holiday and I need to ‘make up the hours they were away’. Obviously Im becoming extremely burnt out..

The parents still night feed the child 3 bottles per night and with them he can still get 5-6 bottles per day. With me he has a better schedule and actually eats solids (e.g. breakfast, lunch and snacks as well) without the needs for that many bottles. Yesterday the child woke up crying which as I’ve worked in many childcare settings, can be pretty normal. Dad raced in with ‘he needs a bottle!!’ Which wasnt the case..

The child still sleeps in a bassinet in the living room/kitchen area, they do not allow the child to sleep for 2 hours.. so purposely dad will come up stairs and start waking the child with slamming the microwave or making lunch roughly around the one hour and a half mark. Ive found the child is struggling to stay awake past 3 hours.. This causes the child to obviously be tired later in the day.. he does not sleep in his own bed at night and never has.. but they DO NOT want him taking 2 naps a day.

They also are thinking about ordering a ‘trampoline’ for him to sleep on rather than the bassinet or him going into his own crib upstairs (never used) which is just horrendous. I can’t really get out the house either as the child is so addicted to the tv, if the tv isn’t on he just constantly cries and has 0 attention span to play by himself or with his toys with me. If we are out in the garden he will cry or sign ‘all done’ within 5 minutes to go and watch tv inside. They also mentioned he still falls off the sofa regularly…

The child has 0 schedule with them so no set nap time or bottle time. The parents will comment about my schedule as he regularly with me will go to sleep around 12, they will comment ‘why is he not asleep’ around 9:30-10:00 knowing the child has only woken roughly at 7:00-7:30.

Im tied to this job for another year, but I really need some help and advice on what to do..

Ive been nannying a now 17 month old since he was 3 months. There has been no consistent routine from the parents since I first started, this is still the case. With me, I found it easier for there to be a routine and since 3 months, he fell easily into that including changes such as dropping to one nap a day for example.

Now the child still sleeps in a bassinet in the living room/kitchen area which I find odd. He is constantly just ‘sat’ watching tv when with the parents, this has become an issue during meal times and play time now.

He will not independently play or just play in general if the tv is not on. If it isn’t on, he just stands and swings on the gates, me or just wants to be somewhere he isn’t suppose to be. He uses bottles of milk as comfort and often just walks around whining signing ‘eat’, but then will starve himself of food until a bottle comes. For example, he won’t eat breakfast knowing a bottle is coming at 9:30. Or won’t eat until a bottle comes at roughly 3:30. Every meal time is an issue as he is using this to ‘just watch tv’ but won’t eat and will freak out in the high chair if the tv isn’t on.

They believe that sleeping 2-3 hours a day is too long.

The parents at the weekend do undone everything ive done during the week and do ignore all doctors advice saying they are ‘wrong’. The parents still give 5-6 bottles per day, that includes 2 night feeds.

Im at a loss and constantly burnt out. The parents work from home too so as soon as the child even whimpers, they are straight up stairs asking what’s wrong.

EDIT: due to my visa, im tied to this job until September next year.