I sometimes regret fostering my siblings and I sometimes dream about dropping them at the minders and never coming back.
Im a 21 year old man. Just over a year ago my mother died. I have a sister (23) and a half sister and brother (8 and 6). Soon after the father of my younger sister and bro ended his own life whilst they were in the house. If I speak, I will get in trouble here.
My older sister is in the Middle East living life so I had to deal with social workers etc. I will admit the social workers were really helpful and supported keeping them with family. But it was a minefield to sort through.
The foster payment is very reasonable here so I was still able to go to uni etc and get a minder when necessary.
But it just gets a lot. I get home from uni/work and they immediately need my attention. There is sports, psychologist appointments, weekly groceries, cooking, cleaning, "let me tell you every mundane part of my day", arbitrator, flus, nightmares etc etc etc.
And I know this is just what it is to be a guardian/parent but I miss the carefree life. I miss being just their brother.
And I sound like the biggest AH for complaining and often I love being there for them. Sometimes I love hearing about their day. I love when my brother goes so many nights without a nightmare. I love watching them play football. I love playing football with them. I always hate cleaning lol.
But there is no off switch and it is overwhelming.