how to deal with no contact with someone with bdp
I (20F) met someone (23NB) a few months ago. We met through friends, they are diagnosed with BPD and they are in an open relationship. I am in a polyamorous relationship. We quickly got along and we agreed to be friends with benefits as their relationship didn’t allow them to have romantic feelings towards a partner.
This relationship only lasted a few weeks and it was really intense. We saw each other every day and the conversation we had were really deep and vulnerable each time. To the point where I started to catch feelings and talked to them about it. They were actually also catching feelings for me and knowing that it was forbidden in their relationship, we decided to end our relationship.
After that we continued to talk and see each other with our common friends because they really didn’t want to lose our "friendship". They even told me that they would honestly crash out if I were to unfollow them.
They were reposting a lot of breakup tiktoks, really intense ones (soulmates and stuff) and they were posting a lot of targeted stories and stuff. Also, when we saw each other there was some longing and yearning, it was never platonic.
This situation hurt me a lot so i decided to talk to them about no contact and unfollowing each other. We talked for a few hours and they said that they would rather us doing anything than unfollow each other and they also said "I love you" for the first time. Even though I was set aback by this information, I said it back because that was how I felt.
Later on that week, their best friend told me that they only talked about me and that they thought that i might be their FP. I am not very familiar with BPD so that made me feel kind of scared.
Following this conversation they had a talk with their best friend and then decided to talk to me one last time.
We took a coffee together and they were cold and emotionless, it was the final goodbye. It seems like nothing of our love was left. The last time I talked to them (one week after the coffee), they told me that they had absolutely no feelings towards me…
It’s been a few months and I still think of them (I think I’m still in love with them). We crossed paths two weeks ago and the reposting breakup tiktoks and targeted stories resumed.
I am interested to know if you think that their love was genuine because it switched so fast.
Also, I am so lost because i want to talk to them so bad but i feel like it would actually hurt them due to their BPD. I don’t want to break their healthy relationship or to cause them any breakdowns.
What should I do ?