My MIL tried to hurt herself during an argument and I don’t know how to deal with this
I really need some outside perspective because I honestly don’t know how to process what happened.
My husband and I were on vacation and visited his family for what was supposed to be a normal visit before we returned home. Instead, the entire day turned into something I never imagined would happen.
My MIL has a pattern of becoming angry with someone in the family and then taking that anger out on me. When she is upset, she stops talking to me, ignores me, and treats me as if I have done something wrong, even when I have no idea what I supposedly did. She has also been having problems with her daughter, and I know there are other things going on in her life, but I have always tried to stay out of their issues.
This time was completely different.
My husband defended me and told her that I hadn’t done anything to her and that he didn’t understand why she was treating me this way. She became extremely angry. She started calling me names and saying that I was manipulative. I was completely confused because I genuinely had not done anything to her.
Then things escalated horribly. She smashed a glass and tried to hurt herself.
I have never been so afraid in my life.
My husband was crying and apologizing to me, telling me that she is sick and that none of this is my fault. I know he is also suffering because this is his mother, and I feel terrible seeing him like this. But I was completely traumatized by what happened. I was shaking and didn’t know what I was supposed to do.
She even told my husband that he should divorce me.
I keep asking myself: Why is this happening to me when I have never intentionally done anything to her?
I don’t want to be involved in constant family conflict. I don’t want to be the person she takes her anger out on whenever she is upset with someone else. And after what happened, I honestly don’t feel comfortable putting myself in that situation again.
I’m also worried about my husband because he is caught between his mother and me. I love him, but I’m exhausted by all of this and I don’t know what the healthy way forward is.
Has anyone experienced something similar with a MIL or a family member who behaves this way? How do you set boundaries when someone is emotionally unstable and has also threatened or attempted to hurt themselves?
I really need advice on how to handle this without making the situation even worse