Advice: my character became the outcast
Hey guys,
I started playing dnd to connect more with friends who had moved out of town and unfortunately am not left with a lot of in person friendships irl.
Unfortunately in our dnd game, my character became a bit of an outcast and it’s causing some self doubt in myself and my friendships -I started dnd to feel good and have fun with friends, but it’s making me feel the opposite. Totally get that we should separate character actions from irl friendship actions but it’s getting really hard when it seems like my character doesn’t have one singular friend in the party.
Some backstory of how it went down. We were all on a mission and along the way, a man tried to stop us. He initiated battle and we all got into the fight sequence. I had not intended to kill him, merely push him away so we could run, however, my character ended up dealing a killing blow. I immediately asked the dm if I could check on them/heal them since my character has a medical background and they said no.
Turns out the dude that died was actually a long lost family member of one of our players. None of us realized this until the next session. Anyways, now everyone has kind of turned their back on my character for killing our partner’s father despite the fact that everyone was in the fight… whenever I go up to the party member to try to make things right, and walk away, the other party members check on them and say “oh I saw [my character] tried to talk to you again… I’m so sorry about that” and other comments that make it very clear it’s a them against my character situation. I thought it would just last for a session while we sort things out and I at least had a companion in one person but now even that one person has made comments about my character which indicates they are not a fan. I even set up a very thoughtful gesture to honor the dead man and pay respect but it didn’t make any difference.
Honestly, it’s the type of situation where I think my character legitimately would leave the party because they feel so unwelcome. Like they would just part ways or something which obviously leaves me without anyone to play.
Any suggestions? I’m thinking about chatting with the other players away from the table to say ‘hey this actually doesn’t feel good, can we maybe reel back on hating [my character] in game? Or at least have one person who doesn’t seem to hate her?’
I think normally it wouldn’t be such a big deal but these sessions are pretty much the only times I get to see/chat with my friends :/ so when it feels like I am unwelcome as a character, it’s hard not to let that seep beyond the game.
Any recs? TIA!
Edit to add:
Update -I talked to my DM and took some of your suggestions. I told them I was struggling with how the roleplay was affecting me emotionally, and asked if we could fast track my redemption arc. They basically said they didn’t see a problem with how things were going down… they also said ‘well the comments made about your character were made behind their back, so they wouldn’t even know the other players don’t like them.’ Which is hurtful, bc it completely negates the feelings I brought up. Sure maybe my character doesn’t know what exactly was said about them, but they would have to be blind to not understand they are being left out/talked about. Also, the main point was that *I* as a person (not as the character) am struggling with this roleplay.
They also said they can’t control what the other players do… but as the dm they totally can influence things. Also they, as the dm, stand in for people who have to miss a session, and whenever they are subbing in for someone, they are one of the main perpetuators of comments made against my character…
I really don’t want to leave this group but I’m not sure what to do…