Should I take testosterone to spite my family?
I (20 FtM) am usually pretty confident as I am, I dont mind my voice and I like it, same with most of my body, save for my chest, which of course I'm saving up to get top surgery for. I'm used to most people referring to me as she/her even when that's NOT what I go by as that's he/him, but I can deal with that.
However, for the past week I've been on a road trip with my dad and sister, both of which tend to avoid the topic, and usually, they avoid referring to me by pronouns all together. However, during this trip, something changed and they've been using she/her NON.STOP. they will not stop, and they know it's not what I go by, and my sister even refers to me as her sister. I want to tell them to stop and knock it off, but we have another week and I don't want to ruin the mood of the trip.
Additionally, I've been having more autistic meltdowns over the past few days and my sister has been on my case about it (my dad too but not as much) so I know if I say something they'd likely write it off as that. And so, with all this coming together, it's making me want to start taking testosterone so I would never have to deal with people referring to me incorrectly again.
But as I mentioned before, I like my voice the way as is, and I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of the changes that would happen in my lower parts as a result of it. The fact it's permeant is making me even more conflicted, as I don't know if it's just be being overwhelmed and emotional after a week straight of this, and being surrounded by things and people that aren't my type of thing.
This being non-stop western towns and country music, and whenever I need a break I feel guilty for it as my sister will just keep going without me if I don't keep pushing myself. This causing said meltdowns from lack of protein, as most of the foods at these places I'm not okay with and are not on my list of safe foods. My usual thing usually being comics, animated shows, and other dorky shit like that. But the minute I start to meltdown they blame it on me like I wanted this or something.
With everything combining together like this, it makes me want to take testosterone just to spite them, to force them to see me as who I am instead of what they want me to be.
What should I do?