r/TransSupport

so my parents just found out that i'm trans...what gave me away was my "leprechaun voice" as my dad put it and my "weird hairy thighs" as my mom put it.

i have experienced horrific dysphoria my whole life and general mental health issues related to it, including very very bad depression. but my parents are HORRIFICALLY transphobic. I've always known this. that's why i never told them i was on hormones. trans people are the one thing they can't accept. i've had a really good relationship with my dad my whole life and now he fucking hates me probably more than anyone. stuff like comparing me to a murderer, saying that i'm "fucked in the head" and "why cant you just appreciate the body you were born in" "you're murdering our little girl" "you'll never be a real man and what will [relatives and friends they both LITERALLY do not like] think?" Trying to educate me about my own mental state and saying they both know me better than myself, all the while saying i'm some stranger in their home. hours and hours of shit so atrociously transphobic and traumatic that it felt more like a scene out of an overly dramatic movie than actual real life. Just think of every horrible transphobic thing anyone has ever said and imagine it being yelled at you for like 4 hours by your own parents first thing in the morning.

i knew it would be really really bad if they found out, bad but i didn't know it would be this bad simple because of how comically bad it was. like that horrifically bad. death in their eyes. talking of disowning me and how much of a disappointment i am and how everything that's ever gone wrong in life is because i'm "a tranny". the fucking amount of hypocrisy was atrocious too, it was like arguing with an angry, violent, transphobic wall. they also threatened to take the ONLY good thing that has happened to me in my entire life: going to my T20 university. they said "well since you get the drugs [testosterone] from there, we'll just have to pull you out and not fund it!!" with the job market rn, there's absolutely no way of me (specifically me, not other people) getting a job without a degree. i have no job. rejection after rejection. its horrible. (and they accused me of not working hard enough for a job - i've DEFINITELY applied to more jobs than they've even heard of in their entire old ass lives). anyway, there's talk of kicking me out and completely disowning me and un-enrolling me from college. this feels like an exaggeration but its literally not. i'm genuinely in shock. i NEED to finish my degree. i also need my hormones and to live as myself.

anyway. i don't know what to do. i just wrote to a homeless shelter to try and help me with my situation and threat of imminent homelessness. but idk what to do to feel better in the moment or feel safer in my house.

EDIT/UPDATE: my mom came into my room, demanding i show her my T, and she took it all and threw it out. over 3 years worth of vials that i got for free out of the kindness of my pharmacy and provider. tomorrow was my weekly injection. i am going to have no T for at LEAST until the end of the summer, and likely for an entire year. and then she had the audacity to call ME a narcissist for getting "everything i want and when i can't have it i go to extremes" (calling HRT a WANT too instead of a need.....also i literally never ask for ANYTHING) and made fun of me for saying she doesn't understand my situation by going "ohhhh im sooooo misunderstood" in a mocking tone to mock me. calling me ungrateful for "everything they do for me" and all that manipulative bullshit.....so ALL of my hrt is gone too. fuck.

I just need advice cause like I'm a well soon to be 18 year old trans woman who hasn't really like transitioned irl and I just got a new job doing construction cause it's all I really know how to do but I know this isn't what I want to do with my life especially because I want to be able to transition when I'm 18 in a couple weeks but I just need the money ig,,, and I don't know what else I can really do since I don't really want to spend thousands on college like I was thinking of becoming a pharmacist technician to see if I like that and then maybe pursue a career in medicine like I've wanted to but I don't know if that would even fit me idk I just need to know if I should stick out this current job for awhile or not since I dont really want to do it I'm sorry that this is just a bunch of rambling I dont really have my thoughts in order right now I just don't know what to do since I want to transition asap but the job definitely won't let me do that

God I'm so sorry about punctuation and rambling

Please excuse my grammar my nerves are shot I just came out to my wife that I am trans she didn’t take as bad as I thought she would but she did say that it hurts she wishes she knew before we got married that if she wanted to be with a woman she would have not married me that she needs time but she dose love me we shaved my face she even let me use her nail polish but told me she doesn’t have remover for I said well we gotta spark for Walmart tomorrow she looked at me and said tell everybody we got grand babies that’s why your nails are like that I’m confused she just said she wouldn’t have married me if she had known and now willing to let me go out into public like that idk it’s just a lot I have Ben hiding this for years I fill free now but hurt for my wife I don’t no what to do but I know I want to continue my journey into womanhood just need advice and support

I’m 41 years old. Was born male, presented male my whole life. About a year ago I started feeling off about myself and first thought it was just because I was getting older but the more time went on the more I unhappy I became at my reflection and myself. I started thinking about transitioning the more I looked into it the more it made sense. I strongly feel like it’s right for me, but I’m married with three kids and don’t want to ruin all that and think with my age it’s too late for me to start.