r/TransSupport

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Hello beautiful people,

I never imagined I would one day have to share my pain publicly like this, but today I am reaching out with the little hope I still have left.

My name is Joan B. I am a transgender woman and refugee from Uganda, currently stranded in South Sudan under very unsafe and heartbreaking conditions. I fled my country after facing threats, violence, rejection, and fear simply because of who I am. I escaped hoping to survive… but life has continued to be a daily struggle.

Right now, the situation has become even more painful.

A fellow queer woman in our community is critically ill and on oxygen, fighting just to breathe. Every single breath she takes is a battle. The medical services available here are not enough for her condition, and without urgent support for treatment and care, we may lose her.

We are exhausted, scared, and struggling to hold on, but we still believe compassionate people exist in this world.

I am not posting this for pity. I am posting because we desperately need humanity, solidarity, and voices that care. Even if you cannot help financially, your support, advice, prayers, sharing this post, or simply following our journey can help us feel less alone.

You can read more of our story here:

To everyone who takes a moment to read and share this — thank you from the bottom of my heart. Sometimes kindness from strangers becomes the only light left in someone’s darkness.

With hope,

Joan B 🏳️‍⚧️

My wife and I only have 1 car between the two of us, and the car is on its last legs *rip Beyoncé*

My wife (NB) and I (FTM) have hit some hard times financially due to my hours being cut. To spice it up more, we literally just started our fertility journey. Sperm purchased, appointments scheduled, and treatments long underway. The plan was to save and pay for baby stuff, which we did. Then we could look at buying a car. This was all before I had my hours drastically cut in half, and obviously, I’m frantically looking for a new job ASAP. All the job opportunities that are safe employers are a few towns over and Beyoncé can’t even drive up hills without the engine cutting out. We need a new car, but we can not afford a replacement without some help. Even advice is useful for us right now.

If you can help, we would greatly appreciate it.

https://gofund.me/114ce120e

So my partner (MtF) came out to me (CisF) as trans the other day and I have no idea what to do.
They are very early in accepting being trans and have only asked that I occasionally refer to them as they bc they aren’t ready to fully dive in to a social transition or anything else.
I love them so much and I want to support them with this but I don’t know how to at all.
I’m first and foremost worried about their safety but I’m also really excited for them to live more authentically and be happier with how they present in the world.
I am also scared of being more excited about things than they are and making a bigger deal about it than they are.

Any advice would be helpful.
We are currently in the process of finding a therapist for them and a couples therapist to help with the adjustment for both of us but I need advice from people who have transitioned on what kind of support feels like not too much so I can talk to them about it. Thanks!!!

Ciao a tutti...per me é sempre stato molto difficile parlare di identità di genere e espressione di genere in quanto tematiche piuttosto pericolose essendo nato in un contesto abbastanza bigotto (Se da un lato conosco diverse persone con una mentalità molto aperta in merito alle tematiche lgbtq+, la mia famiglia in tal senso é davvero pessima).

Se all'esterno mi sono sempre mostrato come un uomo etero cisgender, la verità é che nel profondo del mio animo io mi sento tutto fuorché ciò. Odio profondamente apparire così, ma ho troppa paura di prendere in mano la mia vita e essere semplicemente me stesso.

Ho paura di fare coming out con i miei amici e la mia ragazza per paura di non essere accettato o comunque di rovinare i rapporti. Ho paura di dirlo ai miei in quanto spesso e volentieri sono stato offeso pesantemente per cose stupide e di poco conto come dipingermi le unghie o tenere i capelli lunghi.

Al momento sento che la mia vita é sdoppiata, da una parte quella che mostro agli altri e da una parte quella che tengo nascosta (sia online in social come reddit o anche nel domestico...pensate che ho un borsone che di solito tengo chiuso con un lucchetto nel quale ho alcuni outfit femminili che indosso quando sono solo a casa).

Oltretutto anche se mi dovessi convincere a fare coming out prima o poi, ho comunque il timore che fare la transizione alla mia età (27 anni) possa solo crearmi ulteriori problemi e io risultare assolutamente orribile (fate conto che comunque sono alto 1,80m e ho un'ossatura molto mascolina) e non "passare" come donna

2 years in. Given up on transition, likely to be homeless soon. My car blew up. At least Public drinking helps me cope that my transition has been the biggest failure. Watching all the women I'll never be like, why not binge drink?.... haha life is a cruel mistress. At least I tried. Jameson is my new best friend

Edit: feel much less dyshoria after some drinks. Thanks Jameson

Sorry if this is really long

To start out I think most people are going to reply that I am trans, but I just want conformation and to hear other peoples opinions before I am really certain of my gender identity. (As this is something that's kind of hard for me)

Im 19 and have thought I was a cis male for the majority of my life, I always thought I might be kind of feminine but never doubted I was a man. I enjoy things like wearing feminine clothes, and doing my make up, as they made me feel pretty. When I was a kid I also refused to cut my hair because I wanted it to be long, and I still keep it pretty long now. I was a pretty skinny kid and I remember in school girls would tell me I looked skinny, or very feminine (in my actions) but I remember being very happy at hearing these things. Similarly my ex girlfriend would tell me I acted very feminine in the relationship, on one hand this really hurt my feelings as she meant it as an insult, but I also remember being oddly happy at the remark in the context of outside of our relationship. I also remember frequently wishing I was born a girl throughout most of my life and still sometimes do. I liked a lot of TV shows that would be considered girly like Sailor Moon as a kid, and tended to relate more to female characters in general. It also might sound weird but I would pretend I was a girl online whenever I would play games, or talk to people.

But like I said earlier for most of my life I never doubted that I was a man, and as much as I wished I was born a girl I always acknowledged that I was a man. I think that may have been however because I was and still am scared of what would happen if I were to identify as female. I'm not sure how my parents or family would react, and I feel as though I would lose almost all my friends, or at the very least they would treat me differently. I think I'm also scared of committing to this and being wrong. I think those are the reasons I've pushed off thinking about this for so long. I also want to clarify I in no way dislike my life as a boy, I just think I might be happier feel more like myself as a girl. I think I'm mostly scared of losing the security and comfort my life currently has.

The reason I really started to question if I was trans was because, before I moved away to college last fall I decided to throw away most of my cross dressing stuff and make up. But throughout the college year I found it really hard to make meaningful connections and just felt in general really down. I think in hindsight it was so hard for me because I didn't feel like my self at all, it more felt like I was pretending to be someone else. I originally just thought it was a natural part of college and I was just figuring out who I was and creating my own identity. But after returning home for the summer I decided to put on some of the remaining feminine clothes and make up I had and it's the happiest and most like myself I've felt in a long time.

Any advice or opinions would really help me as I'm really struggling to figure out for myself if I'm really trans or it's something else.

Incoming incoherent rambling and venting, so bear with me, and not knowing if there's a better place to post this, and I mean not to offend anyone in posting this.

I first became aware that I felt differently from my peers when I was around 10 years old.

It's been 30 years since.

I haven't tried transitioning - I'm not brave enough, and some part of me can't help but whisper how I'd never achieve the desired results, that my chance has passed me by.

I've not even spoken to another soul in the world about how I've felt this entire time.

For the most part of my life I believed that my dysphoria has been mild, or moderate at its worst. I could handle it most days, and for some blessed weeks it would almost vanish entirely - but it always comes back - and its so weird, this relationship I have with it. Given the chance to get rid of it, if it meant nothing else about me changed, I wouldn't as fucked up as that is. Some crazy part of me is almost thankful that I've got it, because it means that in some small way that I'm a part of this wonderful little community, and it does my heart and soul wonders to see how happy transitioning makes those who can, as if I can vicariously experience their joy.

I look on at the younger crowd these days and wish I'd had the courage to speak up for myself. I find myself jealous, that even despite the difficulties with the politics, the outright hatred, and other associated bullshit, that these younger people are finding the courage to speak up for themselves, and live the lives they were meant to, and I find myself wishing that I'd been born just a little later, that maybe I'd have found the courage to raise my voice alongside all the others these days.

I remained quiet, though, and it came with a cost. I've spent 30 years lying to both myself, to all my friends and family, my wife and I've pretended that I don't have the feelings or experiences that I do. It's like I've put on a masculine facade, and said, yep, this'll work just fine for the next several decades.

I have relegated myself to believing that the only life for me lays in being whom I was born as. I've contained my feelings for so long that it's breaking me apart from the inside - and it hurts. God does it hurt. It hurts more than I ever think I've consciously realized just endlessly piling up while I chose to look away from it. Lately it seems like I'm about to fall apart, but I can't. People are depending on me to remain stoic, for the time being at least, maybe later I can find the time to just fall to pieces and pick myself back up again.

I type this with shaking hands and tears down my face.

I thought myself strong enough to handle it. I thought that my dysphoria was more or less contained. I think i was wrong.

Fuck.

Hi!
(this is a burner account as my boyfriend knows my main).
I have very recently figured out that i am trans (mtf)
and i was struggling with how to tell my boyfriend as he is a cis gay man so it would effectively end our relationship.

we have not long got over a rocky patch where we had separated so it feels like a punch in the teeth to just turn around on him like this, but at the same time since I’ve realised it has been hard for me to cope with maintaining a physical relationship and an emotional one as i feel i cant be open with him about my feelings without him reacting negatively.

i told my boyfriend and the reaction was……. unpleasant to say the least. he completely broke down on me saying that he couldnt live without me and things of such a nature, and due to me having recently losing someone to suicide, i basically capitulated and told him that i would stay with him and not transition.if i dont transition it will eventually kill me and if i do and he hurts himself because of it i wouldnt be able to forgive myself so i dont know how to proceed

I'm an 18 almost 19 year old man who wants to start transitioning but I'm unfortunately in a very abusive household and I'm scared and at this point I really don't know what to do i have supportive friends but unfortunately they all live far away from me

If anyone has any advice or tips I'd be very thankful and sorry if I used any wrong terms I'm still very new to all this

After a really intense emotional day yesterday I've woken up with this really cloudy and calm feeling and I feel disinterested in my identity. My wardrobe is full of clothes I don't recognise and I've got transition tasks on my phone and hrt. Everything feels unreal and bizarre. I think I've been trying to transition over the past 2 years and I've come out to my family and friends but I can't remember it very well. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? This has happened before. It is really convincing to believe I am not trans atm but I don't identify as cisgender and I don't want to detransition. Wtf

I tried to come out today to my best friend, a trans woman, and it was one of the worst conversations of my life. As violent and abusive as if I had come out to a transphobic family member. Somehow was told I was not trans enough. There was no one else I thought I could trust to talk about this with so openly. Made me want to flush everything I’ve been working through down the toilet, like I’m an idiot. Feel really heartbroken and brutalized, and just looking for some support somewhere.

For as long as I can remember, gloves are what gave me the most gender euphoria and sense of femininity. My girlfriend wearing a pair of elbow-length gloves to a concert are what got me to come out as trans to her because I expressed wanting a pair for myself and she bought me a pair for me so we could wear them together.

It’s not just the look, either. I have an inherent need to be “covered”, meaning I prefer to show minimal amounts of skin. The compression effect of long opera gloves or tight latex gloves does exactly that from both of them in their own ways. It’s easy to wear long pants or boots, but I feel like gloves might look out of place no matter how good/pretty I feel in them.

I also struggle with the idea of my hands being “contaminated” and have a lot of sensory issues when it comes to touching certain things, and gloves also help a TON with navigating public spaces. My hands and arms have extremely bad eczema that’s exacerbated by my allergies (most notably dust and a deadly peanut allergy), so it’s good to have the added benefit of a barrier between my skin and what I’m making contact with. They give me a sense of calm when it comes to avoiding contamination.

I love wearing gloves. I wear them every day. Depending on the occasion (minus work), it’s either black satin opera gloves or black disposable latex gloves.

The main deciding factors in the length and material of gloves I wear are how formal the event is, what the weather conditions are looking like and how feminine I’m feeling that day. Generally, the longer the glove, the more feminine I feel in them.

The satin opera gloves I wear the most are shoulder-length and I prefer to wear them *under* long sleeves or at the very least mid-length sleeves. Occasionally, I wear them with my arms exposed or under a lace shirt.

That being said, I know they can be a little “much” when it comes to how they’re perceived since gloves aren’t exactly mainstream in fashion (besides wearing them for warmth).

Is it socially acceptable to wear them out everywhere? I’m worried people will judge me for it. I’ve been feeling hesitant to wear them but they make me feel both safe and pretty it’s hard to think of what I’d do without them.