r/TransSupport

My girlfriend and I just found out we are going to be parents!!! We are super excited. I just started taking hormones about a month ago. Every time I talk to my dad he tells me I am making a big mistake by transitioning and I should be thinking about the child and what they will have to go through having a trans parent. Also that if I continue this I am selfish. My partner on the other hand is telling me why should her pregnancy hinder me from transitioning. She is very accepting and loves me. I am so grateful! I feel so torn bc I know if I continue from the sounds of it my family is going to hate me but I also have my loving and accepting partner. Thanks for letting me rant this is hard!!!!

Heya,

I am Terra, or at least I would like to be. Hoping someone can give some good advice...

It feels awkward making a long explanatory post, but to keep it short I'm kinda struggling with making a dent in the transition, especially socially. Basically, I'm stuck.

I look the flippin same, the people around me have no idea. Femme clothes just don't look right on me because of how masc my body is.

I've been on HRT for over 6 months... It's starting to cut deep especially watching other girls make huge progress in their transitions.

Work is a source of fear at this point. Trying to find a new job in a better place, really don't want to end up out at work because it won't just stop at getting fired probably.

Idk if anyone has advice, I guess clearly it's not working because I'm not doing everything I want to but some of those things are pretty risky rn.

Yet another Texan lass, signing off.

[ Terrified of being caught, so I’m using a burner account. My apologies. ]

Hi. I am a 21yr black transfem in Chicago who has been repeatedly shoved back in the closet by my transphobic family. I am at a crossroads in my life where I either attempt to escape and go through homelessness, or >!suicide!<.

Previously, I attempted to run away to New York because I was too scared to tell my family about me wanting to be a girl. Past traumatic experiences had me certain that they would not be very accepting of me at all. What they do know is that I am a people pleaser, and unfortunately I am easy to manipulate to say exactly what they want to hear.

It’s not like I hate them all either. I was worried sick after having realized I would have to separate myself from them if I wanted to be happy. I don’t want my mother going crazy at the thought of losing me. I don’t want my siblings being worried sick about me. Even still, I’m petrified of the thought of leaving them simply because of how they would react.

They caught me in the act of escaping after having found my note detailing why I was leaving. They didn’t take any of my criticisms or concerns about them being overbearing or disrespectful to me to heart. And on the next day, they read extensively through my discord profile and were so incredibly angry about the fact I “betrayed” them.

They took everything which brought me happiness. Took my clothes, shamed my hobbies, and my room has been relocated to a small guest room right beside my parents bedroom so they can keep a close eye on everything I do. The only reprieve I get nowadays is when I hide in the bathroom.

I have been cut off from the outside world ever since. Only being able to go out with their permission.

I have to ask permission to make friends with people, because they don’t trust that I will match with the “right” people. Many of my irl friends were queer and I felt so safe confiding in them in times like these. I have lost contact with all of them as of now thanks to my family. 

I’m terrified to draw more, because I’m convinced they will find a way to take that away from me. I’m terrified to listen to music because I’m sure they’ll find a way to hate that too. I’m terrified to play anything other than the same 3 games parents like to watch me play, because they have zero problem taking away and throwing out what they don’t like. I am no longer able to enjoy, without their permission.

The worst part of all of this is the fact that, in order to survive under a roof like this, I now have to repeat the same transphobic rhetoric they’ve been shoving down my throat as they “fix” me. I have to manually cloud my thoughts with tasks and errands that need doing because the thought of not being able to be a girl is literally killing me from the inside out.

The only crux that has me tied down to here besides money, is the fact that I’m a senior going into my last year of college. It’s an incredibly important milestone for me to complete it, because I’ll have tangible evidence that I stuck to something and it worked out. But I don’t know if I will survive these next couple days, let alone these months, let alone a whole damn year.

I’ve been placed in a psych ward as a scare tactic by my parents. I can’t even choose my therapist because I’m not trusted to make the right decision. And for the handful of times I was at a therapist, I was terrified to talk about my problems or my family at all. It was like they talked to the therapist beforehand, and now all that therapist could say was how great my family is, like they were being watched. It was terrifying, and it only made me feel more and more and more alone.

Is there a chance for someone like me? I’m genuinely asking here because I don’t know the answer. Is it okay to be black and a trans woman? Will I survive if I do run away? Or should I just give up because I don’t deserve a happy life like this?

I’m terrified of running away and facing homelessness, but I literally cannot see a future anymore. In the past, it was a little cloudy when I envisioned where I could be, but I was always looking forward to it, even when the new administration stepped in in 2024. But now, it’s completely dark. I’ve been relegated to a pet. Something that nods and agrees and smiles when prompted. Something that doesn’t deserve the right to choose for herself.

I want to complete school and have a better chance at obtaining a decent paying job. 

I want to live in the first place more.

But I don’t know if I’ll ever see that dream.

I’m sorry, this was a lot. My apologies if something like this isn’t allowed here.

I'm 15. My dysphoria is so bad and so is my depression. Nothing works and I can't get HRT. I can beg and cry to my dad all I want and he won't let me. I don't want to kill myself but it's starting to look easier than staying alive. I just can't bear all of this and when school comes back around it's all gonna get worse. I've been in the psych ward 3 times since December too, and it never helped. It just makes everything worse. I just want to be able to be comfortable in my body and be like other girls but I just can't and now I'm at rock bottom just because of one stupid fucking medication.

why was i born like this? nobody in my family would love me if i ever came out as trans but im so fucking miserable i cant anymore. i would hate to leave my family devastated if i ever died. i want to make this world a better place but im doing terrible mentally. nobody would support me in real life.

i wish i was just born a fucking girl. everything would be so much better. i wish i was a cool fun smart woman. instead im a dumb unlovable failure. ill never be beautiful. i look at pictures of clothes that ill never be able to wear. i look at all the hairstyles i wont look good in. i look at all the things i cant get because theyre too girly. give me a break, please.

why was i born as such a burden to my family? why couldnt i have just been normal?

I (20 FtM) am usually pretty confident as I am, I dont mind my voice and I like it, same with most of my body, save for my chest, which of course I'm saving up to get top surgery for. I'm used to most people referring to me as she/her even when that's NOT what I go by as that's he/him, but I can deal with that.

However, for the past week I've been on a road trip with my dad and sister, both of which tend to avoid the topic, and usually, they avoid referring to me by pronouns all together. However, during this trip, something changed and they've been using she/her NON.STOP. they will not stop, and they know it's not what I go by, and my sister even refers to me as her sister. I want to tell them to stop and knock it off, but we have another week and I don't want to ruin the mood of the trip.

Additionally, I've been having more autistic meltdowns over the past few days and my sister has been on my case about it (my dad too but not as much) so I know if I say something they'd likely write it off as that. And so, with all this coming together, it's making me want to start taking testosterone so I would never have to deal with people referring to me incorrectly again.

But as I mentioned before, I like my voice the way as is, and I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of the changes that would happen in my lower parts as a result of it. The fact it's permeant is making me even more conflicted, as I don't know if it's just be being overwhelmed and emotional after a week straight of this, and being surrounded by things and people that aren't my type of thing.

This being non-stop western towns and country music, and whenever I need a break I feel guilty for it as my sister will just keep going without me if I don't keep pushing myself. This causing said meltdowns from lack of protein, as most of the foods at these places I'm not okay with and are not on my list of safe foods. My usual thing usually being comics, animated shows, and other dorky shit like that. But the minute I start to meltdown they blame it on me like I wanted this or something.

With everything combining together like this, it makes me want to take testosterone just to spite them, to force them to see me as who I am instead of what they want me to be.

What should I do?

My girlfriend just made me feel so shit over my name, I was crying on call with her and she just told me to quit whining. I don't even know what the fuck to do. she said its dumb and gay and ugly and feminine and I just feel so defeated. I don't even know why I try anymore. She just told me to shut up and that I switch names every week/year/whatever. She keeps trying to get my to change my name to one that is "easier" and sounds closer to my birth name.

It seems like even lesbians and bisexuals hate trans people

The T in LGBTQ+ is for transgenders right?

It's starting to feel like it is not to me

Most of the planet hate the lgbtq+ community and we're all trying to cope with it

But if the most hated community on the planet actually hates me then I...

I can't take this anymore!

I (20 MTF) desperately want to start HRT, but am terrified of how my parents will react and how that will impact my future. I'm in a very privileged position---my parents currently pay for my college tuition and rent---but I'm terrified that if I come out, they'll flip out and stop supporting me financially. When I came out as bisexual a few years ago, they freaked out and wanted me to keep it a secret from everyone I knew including my closest friends (who already knew).

Since then they've been watching more and more Fox News and drifting further and further to the right. I don't know how much transphobia they've absorbed since then and how they'd react to me coming out

I'm studying to enter a field known for underpaying workers and am likely to experience employment discrimination so I want to take advantage of the position I'm in to get as far as I can so I don't have to take on a bunch of debt.

That said, I genuinely don't know how much longer I can go without it. Every day my dysphoria gets worse and worse and dressing fem doesn't help because it just accentuates my masculine features.

Should I go ahead and do it, wait till I'm almost done with college and stealth for the final few months, wait till I'm completely done, or something else entirely?

I am disabled and my life and survival is planned out for me, because my family provide housing for me. Without that I'd be homeless. The issue with this is, they are also very transphobic..

I've been told transition can't be hidden for long, so I've given up hope of ever transitioning. It's been eight years since I realized I was transgender.. and it doesn't feel real. It's happening to someone else who isn't me. I feel numb to it now.

How do I cope? The situation won't change.

Hello Everyone,

im 19 and i have recently been getting alot of gender dysphoria, but i dont know if i genuinly am a girl or not. i am amab. ive always felt more like a girl then a boy, and gender dysphoria has been hitting hard lately, when i wear girl clothes i feel at home, i feel good. but i dont know. ive had this before but decided im not a girl, just very feminine, but im doubting it atm, its hard. it feels weird and it doesnt help that my family is christian and calls it the devil trying to take me over. i feel very underappriciated and like my doubts and fears arent geting listened to. i just dont know. i dont know if anyone here has experienced this. i hope someone might be able to help. or just, idk. talk with me. please call me Cherry

Idk where else to post this, but if it's the wrong place to post it then please tell me where to post it.

Hey, my name is Kathy. I'm a 22 years old trans girl from Colorado. And idk if I can handle life anymore. I hate my fucking terrible ass life so much that my suicidal thoughts are going from bad to worse. I'm so fucking lonely all the time because I don't have many friends and don't have a partner. I have like a couple friends and immediate supportive family but that's it. I'm so jealous of other people who have romantic partners that I basically hate everyone around me that has a partner. All I do with my life is play video games and sleep, I sleep so much because I would rather be unconscious than continue living my terrible fucking life. I also somewhat regret my transition to being a girl, not because I no longer believe myself to be a girl, (I still believe I am a girl) but because I just have to deal with so much societal hate for trans people. And even have to deal with possible hate online and in the dating world. I'm literally scared to go out sometimes because of fear of getting shot for just wanting to be a true girl. And plus I don't think I'll ever really even be a girl because of being born male. I basically have no support system in place because I have so many bottled up emotions and feelings that I don't wanna tell my close friends and family. I tried venting to a friend before I wrote this post and they seemed to just shut down and said that they didn't know how to help me and told me to just go to bed. I also personally feel that I'm very ugly and the people who say I'm pretty are just chasers. Idk what to do about being happy anymore, at this point I'm just super suicidal to the point where I'm thinking about how to accomplish killing myself. The only thing I have going for me is a possible career choice but because of health issues I have to wait like another month and a half before starting school and I can't drive rn because of those same health issues, so I'm stuck at home basically all day every day. Can I possibly have some advice from the people who might actually fucking care to read this far. Idk how to be happy anymore and idk how to keep myself from ending it all soon. Sorry for the rant I just needed to get some stuff off my chest. I could say more but this post is already long enough..

Goodbye everyone, this might be my last post entirely or just for awhile if I don't off myself..

(P.S. please don't tell me to call the suicide hotline, I hate phone calls and I doubt it'll help, I need something more substantial, like more positive friends and support in my life)

I just don't know what to do i don't understand im uncomfortable in my skin I have really bad anxiety when in public and so I was like oh ill try to do things to make my body feel more like mine look into not waiting for the waitlist for voice training and just pay get it done faster get a 2nd therapist to help with my gender oh im MtF Age 28 btw and I wanted to look into feminine tattoos to feel more comfortable because lately nothing has worked i have failed at everything my hair is short and won't grow because genetic everywhere i go i get made fun its hard to love yourself when the world tears you down and you feel your not making any progress like

1.how do I dress and not look dumb

2. How can I be more comfortable and have less anxiety

3.how do you do make up right

4.how do I make queer friends without them turning out to be mean rude or toxic or just out right backstab me (not every queer person is bad FYI love you all)

5.and how can I feel safe at home or anything when the world wants me gone.

Please help 🙏 any advice will be so useful sister's enbys even my masc brothers.

I end up with the thought that I don't deserve to be alive anymore. My life sucks. I suffered sm and now I feel like taking my own life would be the only thing that'll ever free me from this horrible hell, this sucks . I always thought I would do more I have more dreams. I want to do way too much. Giving up now feels so sad . But I can't take it anymore I been suffering since I was born in a abusive family. I am such a fucking faller . I wish I want a disappointment like this, anyways thx u for reading this . I will be remembered as a nobody because I am not a person anymore

Hello, I am currently a transgender boy. I am 15 and I haven’t come out to my mother yet since she is INSANELY transphobic (and homophobic.) I did come out to my class but half of them accept me and since they met me as a girl when I was 6, they still see me as a one.

Today was my last day of school and the next school year I will be attending a new (art) school.
I do not want my new classmates to not be sure what my gender identity is. I do not want to explain to them why they can call me by my chosen name but cannot use it infront of adults.

This leads me to a question I have been thinking about for a year now. Should I detransition? Should I just wear girly clothes and makeup and look like a girl? Should I become someone who I am (probably) not? Or should I come out to my mother, who would probably use my gender identity against me and would be transphobic towards me? Who knows if she will even accept me? I have no idea what to do.

I am fine with wearing dresses and skirts, as long as I do wear a wig and other stuff. I cosplay, and aslong as it is some form of pretend, I do not mind. Unfortunately, just the thought of people thinking about me and connecting my dead name with me makes me want to puke. Same goes with she/her pronouns. I just can’t. Maybe, If I could atleast use a different name, a gender neutral one, while detransitioning, maybe it would be easier for me.

Since I am not out, and my mother is very strict, I do not look like a boy anyways. I have short hair and a boyish cut, but I cannot wear mens clothes
First reason is that I am small and short, so only 12 year old boys clothes fit me.
Second reason is that my mother does not let me shop alone and that leads to her not allowing me to get ANYTHING from the men section. Not even shirts or hoodies.

I must add that I do experience body discomfort and I can barely look at myself in the mirror.

I sometimes wish that there were no gender rules and we all looked the same.

What should I do? Please do not tell me that it is for me to decide, I have been thinking about this for a long time and I cannot figure anything out.