All or nothing thinking / self-sabotage / rumination
My all or nothing thinking ruined the "perfect" birthday weekend I planned. Just one thing was off from the very start and it derailed the entire rest of the weekend.
It feels like I self-sabotaged. I couldn't get out of my own way / get out of my head about it. Even when I tried to roll with the punches, brush it off, reset, try something else, it didn't work because the one thing that was off "ruined" the whole damn thing (at least in my mind).
I had to make new plans along the way, and even if it was fun while it lasted, I just kept thinking how this wasn't supposed to even be part of the plan and we weren't even supposed to be there.
Now after the fact, I can't stop ruminating on it and spiraling about it: How the whole weekend was ruined and I can't get it back, and there's nothing I can do about it at this point. It's almost like I'm mourning it. It's like I'm stuck in a loop. It's exhausting and I can't stop.
requesting advice for:
- how to move past this now (stop ruminating, LET IT GO)
- I just keep thinking of how perfect it was supposed to be, all the work I did in advance for it, how it was supposed to be the best most perfect weekend ever, and how I'll never get it back and there's nothing that can make up for it
- how to nip this in the bud if it were to happen again.
- Ideally, I would like tools/strategies for the future if I'm ever in this position again, how to get out of it/reset before it becomes a run away train.
Thanks in advance :(