Being difficult or boundaries
My coparent keeps suggesting I used his girlfriend as my babysitter when one is needed for work. This ends up being for about 4 hours a day a few times a week. I’ve repeatedly told him no. This woman absolutely hates me and has since they first started dating a little over a year ago. She has said this to my face, over text, and post on social media. (Post sent to me by mutuals) I’ve honestly lost count of the amount of times she has said something awful to me or talked smack online. I honestly really don’t care that she doesn’t like me but it’s relevant to the current situation.
Any times in the last few months I’ve talked to coparent about child care changes it’s sparked a big debate between us. This is something new and he has never suggested this before or even bother to make suggestions when I tried to talk to him about it before so i eventually stopped asking for help and just started letting him know when changes happen days in advance. During the specific times a babysitter is needed both coparent and I are working and always falls under my legal parenting time. He thinks that even though it’s all under my parenting time I should let his girlfriend babysit our child while we work because she is the only person he trust to watch our child. I have declined every time telling him I’m not comfortable with that option but he can send me suggestions and I consider them as well as I will also consult him on people I think are appropriate. Then he starts going off on me saying I’m bitter, jealous, childish, and hateful for not doing it his way just because I don’t like her. I’ve explained to him multiple times it’s not that I don’t like her I just don’t feel comfortable letting anyone who has been so extremely verbal about their hate towards me being allowed unsupervised access to our child for any amount of time let alone for hours. Our child is very young and cannot advocate for themselves if something were to happen regardless of who is babysitting them.
Yes realistically it would be common sense that since she is dating coparent she wouldn’t do anything or let anything happen but something in my gut is screaming at me don’t do it . Am I really being difficult by not doing what he says and not using his girlfriend as a babysitter during the hours I need child care or am I just being firm on a boundary I have in place for anyone who hates me?