u/NoHeartNoSoul87

This issue has been haunting me since the childhood. Every time I join the group, I observe the following pattern:

1. A group is created
2. Everyone starts working on their tasks, but the work goes poorly
3. I wait several weeks to months contributing on the same level as everyone else
4. Finally I snap feeling the pressure of approaching deadlines and start doing stuff myself at the task at full power
5. If possible, I try to create sub-tasks and ask the group if someone wants to take over sub-tasks. Usually people play dumb.
6. When the task is finished, I don't even get a "thank you"

I decided to write this post because this week I watched this pattern unfold two times: one is a miniature day-long one, another is a month-long. And in between I had two interviews where the only thing the employers were interested in was my experience in team. And I am afraid that the look on my face might have given away that it ain't great.

The pattern repeated itself at different scales, large and small, university projects and hobby groups, no less than 10 times. One time I not only has gotten no "thank you", but a "fuck you, why didn't you jump to #4 from the start". There were exceptions to this rule where #5 broke and people indeed started cooperating. But me not being a carrier? Never happened (except one case where I was an absolute slacker, but I at least said thank you).

I foresee that there are going to be people who comment "Aha you selfish white-knighting bozo! You shouldn't have expected a thank you! The satisfaction of done work should have been rewarding on itself". To which, firstly, I don't believe anyone can think that. Secondly, I expected a bit much more than a "thank you", like for example, people actually doing whatever they volunteered for. And thirdly, I want to know why this pattern happens and how to prevent it. Because at some point I want to accomplish something that I can't do alone.