I have schizophrenia, I knew the risks.. I wish I listened. It opened a portal I can’t close. I was already suffering from this and it only made it so so so so much worse. I can’t ignore or make this go away. I can’t unknow what I knoww.
Meds will kill me before schizophrenia does probably, I need to find a way that doesn’t involve psychiatry. I’m so sick of it all
Does anyone else have this? It’s like my body doesn’t respond to my mind. I had this problem off meds as well, but it’s so bad on antipsychotics. It’s horrible, I have no way to feel relief. Also, the times I do cry it’s one little tear. I used to only be able to cry when I was drunk, haven’t tested this out since I had a bit of a drinking problem. When I finally get a good cry, it’s so intense I have ended up in the ER for it. I’m mentioning several different things now, but I felt more information was needed.
I fucking try so hard to give psychiatry a chance (very selective with what), and right now I’m in need of care and socialisation. Being in the ward is the only place I don’t feel out of place and I can socialise with people without feeling disgust with how fake it is. I was sent to a psych ward outside my city since it was full. This one is in a small town and it’s shitty as fuck. They will starve you if you don’t eat at the right hours, they fuck with my sleep, they overwhelm me by opening my curtains and turning on the lights when I can’t handle lights at all. They’re antagonising me and I’ve never experienced this amount of abuse at any other ward. I talked to a girl I had also met at a different ward and she confirmed it and told me horrible stories of how they would bully her and scream at her when she collapsed on the floor. I told my social worker all of this and begged her to ask if there’s an available room at the ward in my hometown. Apparently the ward I’m staying at is the one who decides if I can transfer, and they told me I had bad odds because ”I don’t respond well to the treatment”??? No shit because you’re straight up antagonising and bullying me, amongst many other patients. My social worker is also thinking I’m delusional or not thinking clearly. I know I’m not insane because my aunt worked here and quit because her coworkers were so shitty. I also know because other patients here have the same experience, if not worse. So now I’m gonna write myself out on monday, go home, get worse, and repeat this endless cycle of hospitalisations. I’m so fed up.. fuck psychiatry it’s disgusting.
I have schizophrenia and went off my meds for 2 months since it has caused unwanted weight gain.. I am now hospitalised and agreed to antipsychotics through injection so I don’t miss or skip my medication (I’m unsure if meds are my only option, and I’m tired of hospitalisations and intense symptoms). I’m scared of the potential side effects, and I’m even more scared that if I don’t want to be on meds anymore they’re going to enforce involuntary psychiatric treatment like I previously was on for 2 years. I heard my doctor talk about it being a potential option over the phone with my psych team. I don’t know what to do or think. I feel very lost and hopeless.