r/derealization

Hi everyone. I’m posting here because I feel lost and I’m trying to understand what is happening to me.

I’ve had derealization/depersonalization for years. I don’t know the exact moment it started or why it happened. It feels like life is far away but also close at the same time. The world feels distant, foggy, dreamlike, and unreal. I also feel disconnected from myself, my emotions, my memories, and who I used to be. It is basically 24/7. It gets worse when I think about it, when I don’t sleep enough, when I’m tired, when I scroll too much, when I’m outside, and sometimes when I socialize. Mirrors rarely make it worse too. The things that help even a little are music, showers, walking, talking to certain people, emotional scenes in movies, prayer, sleep, exercise, and sometimes being in nature. I know reality is real, but sometimes I still question it because the feeling is so strong. I also have a fear of going crazy and I obsessively check whether I feel real or not. The emotional numbness is one of the worst parts. I don’t feel real happiness anymore. I don’t feel real sadness either. I want to cry badly, but I can’t. It feels like my emotions are blocked. I feel empty, unmotivated, hopeless, and disconnected. The most concerning part is that my memories feel like they’re fading or becoming distant. Before or around the time this developed, I went through relationship pain, loneliness, family conflict, fear, and a big life change. I also carry things I avoid thinking about. Sometimes the frustration and avoidance get so intense that I want to hurt myself. I just want this to stop. I’m not asking anyone to diagnose me, but I want help understanding what this sounds like and what kind of professional help I should look for.

My questions are:

Can DPDR happen slowly over time without one clear trigger?

Can trauma, guilt, depression, anxiety, loneliness, or long-term stress cause this?

Can derealization make memories feel distant or like they’re fading?

Can emotional numbness and inability to cry come from DPDR?

How did you find the root cause of yours?

What type of therapy helped most: trauma therapy, EMDR, CBT, somatic therapy, something else?

Did medication like sertraline/Zoloft help your anxiety/depression and indirectly reduce the derealization?

Did anyone recover from 24/7 DPDR after years of having it?

I just want to feel real again. I want to feel emotions again. I want to feel connected to my memories, my past, people, and life. Any serious advice, recovery stories, or guidance would mean a lot.

For context, about 46 hours ago I had a really bad trip off of a 1 mg cart. This wasn’t normal because I had been smoking for half a year and had even taken 20 mg edibles in the past with no problem. I have no pre-existing mental illness. So I have this trip and for the past 46 hours I’ve been experiencing symptoms of derealization. I just feel like I can’t process emotions. I keep reading horror stories online of people stuck like this for years. Should I be worried? It has got significantly better over the past 2 days but there is still that feeling that everything isn’t ok. How long should I expect this to last?

Im not diagnosed so I dont know if I have derealization for sure. I just dont know where else to go for help. For the past 3 years or so, Ive have multiple existential crises. I feel so distant from everyone. I feel like my mind is on an entirely different mindset than everyone around me. Everytime I hang out with someone I feel this pressure in my chest and nothing feels right. i feel like everything I say is scripted and I cant speak off the script. Even with my partner I feel this way. He used to be the one person who made me feel different. I thought all the feelings were gone when I was with him but theyre back. Ive tried going outside to connect with nature but even that doesnt feel right. Everything and everyone feels so fake. Nothing matters to me anymore. Im forgetting things all the time now. I cant pay attention to things. Even driving had become troublesome because I cant keep myself from zoning out. I really need help. I dont know what to do. I cant afford therapy or anything. Talking to people just makes me sound crazy.

i’m gonna say first off i haven’t been diagnosed with drdp and i am not self diagnosing at all i am purely just looking for some help or guidance. it started around a year and a half ago, i had a pretty bad breakup where she cheated on me and stuff and after that it seems like my life has flown by(i can’t stress how fast it all goes past its like i blink and im somewhere else doing something totally different) , i never feel in the moment, its like im watching from a tv alll the time, its not stopped once and when it has its for a second and instantly goes back to how it was, ive tried a lot but nothing seems to help, i know the main things to do is therapy but i just want to know or see if anyone can relate and give tips. thank you.

I don’t know why this feeling has been progressively getting worse and now it’s been every day for months/ this week has been terrible . I genuinely don’t feel real. I don’t wanna sound crazy. I feel like im dead and dreaming for life or something. I just feel not real.…

this is accompanied by many other symptoms I’ve been facing for MONTHS that doctors can’t figure out what I have. (heart palpitations, dizziness, fatigue, etc)

i don’t know what to do in moments like these where the derealization hits so bad. i can’t do nothing but cry.

2 days ago me (15) and some friends tried weed and it was my first time. I had about 6 hits of a cone and then felt amazing. Later in the night i felt anxious but nothing horrible and later it calmed down and i slept.

In the morning i felt ok but after a while i felt so disconnected from my family and others and just kind of there. Today i felt quite good all day but towards the end of the day it came back but not as bad as yesterday.

I was just wondering if this is a good sign now that it’s only happened once today and if i would heal soon?

I have been experiencing derealization for over 1 year now. I have never had mental health issues, up until I had a big accident (broke my femur snowboarding, it was very traumatic / falling off a cliff etc). Ever since then, I've felt that my surroundings + reality are not real. I am able to see things around me, and logically I know that I am with my friend or looking at a tree or crossing the street, but it feels like I don't trust that I am perceiving it at all. Some metaphors that help me communicate what I'm experiencing:

- Like I'm watching an AirPlayed / Screen-shared version of my world

- Like there is a foggy layer in between my reality and my perception that I cannot break through

- Like I'm watching a laggier, blurrier, hazier version of my life (though my vision technically isn't different??)

- Like I'm blind (not visually, but something else... like perceptually blind)

- When I am laughing with my friends I feel like I am not really there to experience it (I am still able to enjoy things and experience emotion, but I get sad because I feel like I am not really here to enjoy it)

- When I am biking around town I feel really scared I might crash because I don't trust my perception of my surroundings

It has gotten A LOT worse from work giving me a ton more stress. I'm a software engineer at a startup and it has gotten so intense I feel so underwater and behind all the time with all this AI shit. I've gotten crazy physical symptoms of stress in the last month:

- Pins and needles + itchiness on the left side of my body + both hands (this comes and goes throughout the day, but I've felt it every day for 2 weeks now)

- Left arm pain (freaks me tf out bc it makes me think I'm gonna have a heart attack)

- Intense neck/upper back tension that feels like someone is choking me (gets worse when I'm stressed from work)

- Heart palpitations and heart pains (I went to the ER last week bc I thought I was having a heart attack). Blood test + Xray all came back normal

- Slowed breathing + chest tightness/pressure (this comes and goes throughout the day)

- Waking up in the middle of the night in a panic thinking about work

- Sometimes before/during eating I have the most intense anxiety/nausea and want to jump out of my skin

- Generally feeling exhausted and not a lot of energy

Previously I suffered from migraines and headaches after stopping birth control, but those have actually gotten better in the last few months.

I drink 1 cup of coffee every day, stopped drinking + smoking weed (which I only really did 2-3 times a month). No other medications, taking supplements (fish oil, magnesium glycinate, D3 + K2, and B complex sometimes). I also run and go to the gym 1-2x a week, have good friends and family support. But I genuinely feel like my life is worse and desperately want to feel better. I feel like Marty McFly when he is slowly disappearing, like I am fading away and going to die soon.

I got prescribed with Zoloft 50mg, but I'm hesitant about starting a new drug. Has this helped anyone with derealization?

I've seen this occasionally on this subreddit, and it's my specific case as well. Does anyone have an answer? Thanks in advance, and sorry if it's poorly written—I'm a Spanish speaker.

Hi everyone
I wanted to ask something that used to scare me a lot during my DPDR episodes.

Sometimes during severe derealization/depersonalization, I would feel strangely disconnected from other people and occasionally even feel “different” or somehow superior to them. I hated these thoughts and they made me panic. I kept thinking: “Am I a narcissist? Am I becoming schizophrenic?”

The feeling was not enjoyable at all. It actually made me feel lonely, emotionally detached, and guilty. It was more like I felt separated from normal human connection rather than truly believing I was better than others.

Now, after a long time, I don’t really have these thoughts anymore and I see myself equal to everyone else. But I still wonder if anyone else with DPDR experienced something similar during intense dissociation.
Did anyone else go through this?

I will speak to the point and only the fact that helped me. Over the past 4 days I have become much better and the turning point happened literally in a few hours (I think you can do the same). If it is difficult or scary for you to leave the house, you must understand that your condition is the same both on the street and at home, you do not have a safe zone that you could mentally create for yourself, but you will not understand this until you force yourself to go outside and be there. I tried many times to just walk or sit on a bench, but the condition did not change because my attention was focused only on my condition (eternal analysis and checking of myself and perception of the world). One night when I felt bad again, I just ran outside and started doing sports. Yes, this may sound stupid and funny, but believe me, it really switches your attention. You can also go out at night because there are fewer people at night and in general the situation is calmer. In short, 20 minutes of working on the horizontal bar was enough for me to feel much better and I started walking around the neighborhood. You can, like me, talk to a friend on the phone or just scroll through reels, but the main thing is not to stop and just walk. At one point, you will notice that even if you feel bad, you are on the street and you can live with it and that if you go home, it is not a fact that you will get better there and it may even get worse. That is, you retrain your brain to be afraid of this state, no matter how much it covers you, tell yourself that it is just anxiety and you will feel equally bad everywhere, this state does not depend on home, just walk down the street, distract yourself and live with it. After these 3 hours of overcoming myself, I realized that this state is bearable and I felt better. I went out for 2 more days at night and noticed how the moments where I do not think about it become more and more frequent, and anxious thoughts cling less. Today I was able to go out to see my friends, and even the anxiety couldn't stop me. I just knew that I wouldn't feel better at home, and that it would be more beneficial to suffer outside than at home. Now I feel much better, and I rarely think about my condition during the day, but if an episode suddenly starts, it's much weaker and shorter in duration than before. You can try to do what I did, but the main thing in this state is to accept it as a part of life, and it will begin to subside on its own. This acceptance comes in different ways, but I knew from past experience that I just needed to overcome myself, and one such outing gave me a kick in the pants (the main thing is to distract yourself and don't run home; be face to face with your anxiety).

I'll also add that you create and continue your own torment, you need to accept and come to terms with it. Just think, what if this is for life? This thought scared me and I decided no matter how bad I felt, I would go out and be with this, I was just tired of hiding from this anxiety and feelings, I wanted to meet my fears and this unpleasant feeling of derealization head on. Like a fool, I ran out into the street and started doing pull-ups on the bar like a crazy person, but it really helped me, the exercises themselves simply redirect your attention for the rest of the walk, but during the walk itself, the main thing is not to run away if a panic attack or something else starts, accept all these sensations and let them be. You won't die or faint. Keep walking and you'll understand that this is only a scary feeling inside your head, not physically. After all, even if you feel really sick, will you just stay outside? No, you'll be able to walk home, which means you can continue your walk. Your brain will simply understand that it's not scary, and you'll be shocked at how much it helped you.

Note: I'm not forcing anyone to do the same as me. Look at your own condition and feel when you should sit down and continue walking or if the condition turns into physical problems (loss of consciousness or something else). Don't make a war out of it with yourself. If you feel too bad, don't scold yourself and go home. But if you understand that the fear is only inside your head, then you can safely continue walking and endure it. Just feel the moment and be with it. I don't want someone to pass out on the street because of me. Be careful, I believe in you.

(16F)I’ve been struggling really badly mentally lately and I don’t fully know how to explain it. I feel constantly overwhelmed, anxious, emotionally unstable, and disconnected from myself. Nothing feels the same mentally anymore and I feel like I can’t think clearly or focus. My thoughts feel scrambled, I forget things quickly, and I overthink constantly. I also get chest tightness/aching a lot when I’m stressed or emotional.

A lot of this got worse after emotional stress involving someone I was attached to, and recently I also used Percocets for a few days along with regular THC/nicotine use, which I think may have made my anxiety and emotional state worse. I’ve been having crying spells, feeling hopeless, feeling lonely, and sometimes thinking “I don’t want to be here anymore,” even if I don’t necessarily plan to act on it.

I still know what’s real and where I am, but mentally I feel disconnected from myself and life feels “off” or unreal in my head. I really need help understanding what’s going on and how to manage it because it’s starting to affect my ability to function normally.

I know it only starts with the smoking and quitting it, but it’s like my brain doesn’t want to. Every time I try to , i just remind myself of how impatient I am and that I won’t be able to quit no matter what because of the withdrawals too. I don’t know, but honestly, I can’t get fixed and I don’t think I will anytime soon and I have no one either so honestly, I feel like just ending it. Thinking about overdosing on the percs next week. Theres no point for me to be here anyways I have no family no friends. I’ve had a therapist for the longest She’s no help . There’s nothing I can do. I’ve tried everything.

Can derealization or disassociation make you feel disoriented i dont know how to describe the feeling but sometimes iam in my house or parents house and i feel its weird like this is not my house or im lost in a way but i know where jam and i cant tell everything but it makes me think im going crazy its so scary

For about eight years, I struggled with severe derealization with panic attacks.
During the COVID era, it was so bad (I didn't really know what it was at the time) that I once didn't dare to move for 30 minutes, fearing that would make it worse.

It often lasted the entire day, it even followed me into my dreams. I used to think about a trip to Japan just to get some hope. In my dream, I was walking through Tokyo and realized that I couldn't enjoy anything anymore because it’s exactly in moments like those that the derealization kicks in.
I’m not sure if it was the same night, but once I woke up, got out of bed, and realized the derealization hadn't improved even after sleeping. I looked at my hands and performed a reality check to see if I was dreaming. I had five fingers, no strange colors, everything looked normal. Then, I actually woke up. But it didn't feel any different than it had in the dream.

I even carried this through my time in the military. I finished basic training as an infantry soldier while keeping my condition a secret. The physical limits weren't the hardest part -the worst was the derealization during the quiet moments of waiting.
I never sought help because I thought no one would believe me or take it seriously.

I also struggle significantly with ADHD (diagnosed), which has added another layer of complexity to my experience. While working as a graphic designer, the pressure and workload eventually became so overwhelming that I lost the ability to sleep. I was in a constant state of nervous exhaustion and could no longer calm down, not even during vacations. I ended up in a psychiatric clinic.

Surprisingly, since the clinic, the derealisation has gotten so much better. I’m not sure if it was the meds, the therapy, or just finally being away from the pressure and being allowed to be me with my ADHD.
My therapist actually triggered my derealization on purpose, I think. She used repetitive topics like a mantra until I couldn't speak, then left me in that state. She said she wanted me to learn to allow feelings. I think I used derealization to dissociate from strong emotions.

Has anyone else experienced this "intentional triggering" in therapy? Or has anyone else managed to hide this while in high-pressure jobs? Would love to hear your thoughts.

I haven’t had a bad derealization “episode” for a second. I usually don’t pay attention to it when I feel this way but genuinely nothing has felt real for the past week and I’m actually going insane. I get so confused on how I know what I’m doing or who anyone is or if I’m constantly just in a state of mind of dreaming. Please help me

heyy!! i kinda dont know how to start with this post or if this subreddit is even the right place to post this but for the longest time rn i've had really bad derealization. its hard to explain it but it all kinda started when i was 8. idk whats wrong w me but i have always liked to have answers for stuff, answers that are like slightly unnecessary, so ofc as a kid i used to question stuff alot and want answer, when i didnt get any id try and get the answers myself. (funny story before i learn anything let it be math, i need like a quick history lesson about that thing to get a true deep understanding of it!!)

At some point after i turned 8ish i began questioning how i was "me" what made me, me? why was i who i was? i just couldnt believe that i was a existing being the same way my mom was one, the same way a flower was one. it confused me alot!

my mom is religious, she'd always try and answer my questions about life and stuff but it never made sense to me bc ofc i always asked her where god was from, who was god and so on. She found those questions pretty offense and made me never ask her "dumb shit" like that ever again. Science never explained anything for me either, sure yes i don't believe in god, but can i believe in some particles around space exploding and making life? if that's the case why isn't there life in any other planet?

Anyways, there are times where these questions hit me really deep and i'll get super dizzy, my blood flow will feel weird asf, like it'll go from my feet all the way to my head. i'll get so lightheaded i start seeing blurry (sometimes it gets to a point where i cant feel my feet or hands at all for some time even after these episodes) besides just these questions sparking it up, there are times if i'm in unfamiliar places i'll do the same thing. like once me n my class had a class trip to an amusement park and after 2 hours i felt so weird, like being in a unfamiliar place always weirds me out, i almost fainted and lost control over my legs for some few mins. (another time we went ski-ing and i deadass fainted and lost my vision for like 20 mins straight)

Sometimes i'll just be all by myself/just be myself and this weird emotion washes over me, i'll stand still and zone out for a bit & while i do i'll get so lightheaded, see everything in a weird way (like stuff zoom in and out, i see flickers and colors get weird) after all that happens and i'm back to normal i'll start questioning if anything around me is real at all, and then it becomes a loop in a way? i hope i explained this veryyy throughly and good bc english is lowkey my 4th language 😓 i just wonder if there is any way i can get rid of this bc its so tiring.

I was in a place I hadn't visited in a long time, since a traumatic event happened to me a year ago. I returned to that place and since that day I feel as if I'm trapped in that year again and that everything is unreal, as if everything has changed since that day: the people, their behaviors, and my surroundings.

I have this problem (relatively new) with my dpdr where my family and my partner do not feel familiar to me at all. They feel like strangers I don’t feel very connected to them and lately it has gotten so bad especially with my partner. I ask myself a lot if I’m falling out of love, but I don’t feel interested in other people at all either or the thought of a romantic relationship rn. It’s like I’m totally blocked off from that. Any suggestions on how to feel connected and get my relationship back would be very helpful and appreciated.