Having a hard time
This morning I emailed a therapist and told a few friends I’m considering divorce. I just don’t know how much longer I can take being treated daily with such complete contempt by my husband. He’s so mean. He hasn’t touched me in about 4 years. Zero sex. I have asked and he said he works hard to pay for my lifestyle and that’s all I get. There’s no more kindness or romance left he said. He’s never kind. He never says anything complimentary. He calls me loud, says I never listen. He lectures constantly but never talks with me. This past weekend he said “I’m a doctor and you’re a nothing”, and when i talked to him about it he said “oh, you’re not a nothing you’re a user”. I’m a stay at home wife and he does make the household income. We started going to spin class and he oggles the 20 year old instructors and it’s so embarrassing for both myself and for them. He told me about a month ago “I’m his biggest disappointment ” in life. I haven’t had him touch me nicely or say one nice thing in about 4 years. He refuses to go to marriage therapy. My lifestyle will take a huge huge hit and I will have to give up things I love because they cost too much and I can’t afford them on my own if I divorce. My kids will lose their comfortable house. I just don’t know how to fix this and I’m constantly unhappy. This morning I drove him to work and he was laying into me as he usually does and I just cried. Then he yelled at me that I’m not a victim and he works to provide my lifestyle and I’m loud and a know it all while I cried. I just can’t take this much longer.