u/No_Article_8644

I have been having a lot of issues recieving my snap benefits. This might be a long read, but im not really sure what to do at this point.

In April, I moved out of my boyfriends home with our two children. I don't think all the details of what happened that day are relevant, but it led to me file an emergency dvp order, which was granted two weeks later, so I have custody of the children now.

I went up to my local DHHR on April 29th to change my benefits. We were previously due for a review on May 5th, before we moved out. They had me reapply all together with my children at our new address. The worker told me I was approved and I would get a new card in the mail in 10days (ex had old card).

Well on May 12th, his sister messaged me and told me he got ebt benefits and the kids and I are listed on it. I went back up to DHR the next day. It took several hours, the worker said we dont know what happened, but we fixed it and you should expect your card in the mail in 10 days. They were not clear on if he got my stuff in the mail, or if a card was even sent out at all.

I probably shouldn't have done this, but I logged into our old snap account as I still rembered the username and password. He got $997 in ebt for May and had already spent down to $231. For just himself.

I waited a little bit, sure they would fix it, but kept getting letters in the mail stating that I was denied because we already receive the benefits.

I called the 1800 help line, I kept getting the run around and gave different numbers to call anytime id ask them how is this fair? How is this not fraud?

The last person I spoke to said the reason he got our benefits this month, was because I applied too late in april, and the may benefits had already been determined. She wouldn't answer my question: How is that when if let's say i didn't move out, we had that review for May, the letter said if we didnt do the review we would not get benefits? She basically said thats just how it is, I should just try to call him and ask him to share the benefits with us, even though we are not allowed any contact. And that my benefits won't change over until June, and that I cannot request a replacement card until I have benefits on June 1st. Then I have to wait 10days for it to come in the mail.

I tried calling up to my local dhhr again today to ask for a supervisor, they said they dont do that and transfered me to my worker who didnt answer like always.

So wtf am I supposed to do?

I should have just stayed, this is everything I was afraid of when considering leaving. Im sorry if this is a little scattered. It was working out at first, now its not. I filed a dvp in April, they connected me with an advocate for dv. They connected me to legal aid, we went to court 2 weeks later and the judge granted the 6 month order, I got temp custody of the kids. Which is great, don't get me wrong. The problem:

He kept literally everything else, he was ordered twice to return my birth certificate, social, and drivers license. Well he did not. When I went to our (old) home with the police at the start of all this, to get mine and my children's items, he had left and had hidden them all. (He told the judge during the 1st original hearing he was doing laundry, organizing, forgot some things were on his person etc. So it was ordered a second time, this time at a neutral location with a family member instead and no police, he never showed) Then my lawyer quit working, and legal aid is ghosting me. I had a job lined out, they just needed my ID so I could start, but it was taking too long (its been over a month) so they've already filled the position. I havent been able to apply for any apartments without it, i cant even replace my wic card without my ID. He also changed the password to my bank account that first night I left. It's an online bank and the verification code goes to his email and phone number. Customer service wont change it until i email them a copy of my ID. I contacted family court asking how do I get my stuff now? They told me to file contempt. I did. We were supposed to go today, but his lawyer filed an extension, he didnt have a lawyer the first time. He apparently got a nice new job from his dad's friend, he hasn't worked in almost 6 years, and that job is paying for a lawyer. His family has been messaging me on Facebook, saying his lawyer is going to appeal the order, that I had no injuries and didnt call the police when it happened (he smashed my phone, like always, when I tried). He's been doing meth for 5years, but they wouldn't drug test him at the hearing, now his family says he's clean (tbh I believe this, because his dealer is a friend to my uncle, and that guy told my uncle he hasn't been by since). So when he pees clean in 6 months, im just gonna look crazy. I know his lawyer is gonna tear me apart in court without my own representation. He's probably going to take my kids. Even though he's never changed a diaper, did bath time/bed time, etc. When he would "watch the kids" while I was at work, I would face time my 9year old, dad would still be asleep at 4pm, the baby covered in poop, they hadn't eaten all day. Hes not going to care for them. Anytime I would try to collect evidence, save money before I left , he would find it. So I have no proof of anything.

He damaged the rental car he kept when I left that is only in my name, because his insurance is too high, we just had insurance in my name. Im getting stuck with that bill of course, I expected that. I canceled my insurance, since all of our actual cars are in his name, they sent me a pro rated refund ( it was paid up for almost a year). But, they sent the check to his address, he won't give it back of course. And customer service is no help.

I went back in April to Dhhr to change our snap benefits. I told them I have custody, me and the kids moved, etc. They had me re apply, the worker said they got everything changed, and that they would send me a new card. They did not. Now they've been giving me the run around every since, I've called help lines, spoke to supervisors, etc. My ex got $997 the month of may for just him self. The kids and I get nothing. The last line I was told, was that they did change everything in April, but it was too late in the month, and the may benefits were already determined, so he gets them this month and I have to wait until June. I think this is BS, because before I left, we had a review due for May. If we didnt do the review, no may benefits. They told me its not fraud. And he doesn't have to pay anything back, or legally give me and our children any of it.

We have other things, property etc. That I paid for, that apparently is only in his name. I remember also signing papers years and years ago, but when I've called to get deeds etc, I've found that they are only in his name, and we were never married, so I have no legal right. Even the house we lived in, it was my moms. My mom gave it to me, but apparently 8years ago it was changed from my mom's name. It went into his brother's name.

He always told me if I ever left, he would make sure I never had anything. I guess he was right.

• And just to add for my rant because I've never told anyone before, when I left he was trying to get me to come back. He got a kitten, he knows my oldest son and I love cats and he thought that would work. He killed our last one. And Whatever you're thinking, its worse... just, the audacity is unbelievable.