ADHD is making my academic life a hell
I have trouble focusing on tasks , a lot and I recently discovered that I might have adhd.(and I have been critising myself all along way to much and way too harshly)
A little backstory-
Up until 10th standard, I was able to work very effeciently. Woke up early for solving sample papers during boards(a big final exam where you had to go to a different school, it was hyped up by techears and students made were made to fear it), I had fear of failing, and could sit for hours on end.( scored fairly decent ard 90%)
But after the fear of boards was over, all the built up fear and hype around it, my discipline for studies and focus plummeted.
In 11th (no boards)and 12th (again boards exam in this standard) I was very eased up and only studies somewhat seriously in the final 12th boards. That too out of desperation. Never got serious in 11th standard.
Then for cuet( enterance exams for central universities) I wasn’t able to study well for this and same with the semester 1 exams.
I always regreted it , atleast till the cuet exams.
But now for the sem exams(currently in sem 2, exams are about to start) , I have lost all fear, I have lost all the drive and I cant sit still and study for more than a hour without wanting to get up and mostly I fail.
I don’t even feel guilty anymoe , which earlier ; was enough to get me going and doing what was needed to be done.
I always blamed short form content and my addiction of p*rn.( I was exposed to it from an early age through classmates )
Always felt guilty that I didn’t do enough and was wasting my parents money and my potential.
I want help dealing with this and how I can improve my situatuon.
( I come from a family where therapy isnt an option.)
Also excuse my english, not my first language)
Tldr- want help with potential adhd and focus related issues. Want to improve academically and mentally.