AITA for moving on with someone my niece had a crush on, while my family completely cuts me off?
I honestly never thought my life would look like this, and I just need an outside perspective on whether I handled this all wrong.
Back in 2021, I caved to heavy pressure from my family—including tears and ultimatums—and married my ex, Markus. It was a mistake from the start, built on financial deception. My niece Raluka spent enough time with us before the wedding to watch me miserable and begging for a way out.
By March 2023, my marriage was over, and I moved back into a house I shared with roommates. Raluka and my friends initially supported me leaving the marriage. Later that year, Raluka casually mentioned she had a crush on one of our roommates, Aaron, right around the time I officially decided to get a divorce.
When Aaron and I started dating in early 2024, Raluka's attitude flipped instantly. She called an Uber that same night, left, and later told me she didn't want to talk and wanted to "move on."
Meanwhile, my family fought my divorce every step of the way. They showed up unannounced with Markus for a four-week stretch of constant arguments, demanded I move out of my shared house because of outside gossip, and offered zero financial support while criticizing me. To get away from the constant friction, I rented my own place.
Even after I moved, the situation stayed messy. My parents gave Markus my new address, resulting in threats, police being called when he showed up with his cousins, and property damage. On top of that, my cousin Kevin crossed a line by speaking with Markus at a funeral and sharing information that Markus used to justify spending over 15,000 euros of my money throughout the entire time I was asking for a divorce, further complicating the legal process.
Through all of this, Raluka cut me off completely. Even when I reached out asking for a simple heads-up if my address leaked again, she ignored it. Recently, I found out through Aaron’s account that Raluka and the rest of our old friend group celebrated a bachelorette party together while I remain completely blocked out.
I am trying to figure out where the line is. Did Raluka cut me off over a crush? Or am I the bad guy and I am just not seeing it?
So, Reddit... help me understand? AITA?
Update: Thanks for all the responses—honestly, I didn't think this post would get this much traction, so I left out a lot of day-to-day context.
To clear a few things up, I was just renting a room in that shared house where Aaron lived. My niece never lived there; she was only ever a visitor. It's also worth noting the age dynamic at the time: when she first mentioned having a crush, she was 21, Aaron was 32, I was 31, and the rest of our housemates were even older. She didn’t pull me aside to confide a deep secret in me either—she loudly announced her crush to practically everyone in the house during a party.
At that exact time, she was actively dating other people and even bringing her own boyfriends over to the house. When things eventually shifted and Aaron and I decided to get to know each other, I talked straight to her about it to be completely transparent, and she told me to my face that it was just a casual crush, and that she was happy for us.
UPDATE 2:
Thank you to everyone who weighed in. Reading through the comments gave me a lot of perspective, and I want to sincerely apologize for how defensive and scattered my initial post and update were. Taking a step back, I realize I’ve been holding onto a lot of frustration from the rest of my family fallout, and I unfairly let that bleed into how I framed this part of the story.
I want to be completely honest about what happened, because I've been doing a lot of hard thinking and my heart genuinely aches for how this must have felt for her.
To clear up any confusion: there was never a mutual relationship or any sort of active dynamic between them. When she originally mentioned having a crush, it was entirely one-sided. Aaron never flirted or led her on, keeping all interactions strictly platonic and casual. Because she knew he was going through his own heavy breakup at the time, and because she was actively dating and bringing her own partners around, I genuinely believed it was just a fleeting, casual crush. I completely missed the depth of her feelings because her external actions showed she was moving forward with her life.
Later on, when Aaron and I naturally grew closer after our own difficult life transitions, I wanted to be open and went to talk to her. By this time, she was around 23. Looking back, I realize how unfair that situation was to put her in.
I used to feel so confused and frustrated by the fallout, but looking back, I realize I missed a lot of what she was going through. I'm truly sorry for my part in how things played out, and I hate that our relationship ended up fractured like this. I just wish I had handled everything with more care.