Has anyone else kind of resigned themselves to never telling future partners they have BPD?
Sometimes I'll go through BPD communities or see TikToks from people with BPD and from partners of people with BPD, and while I get that it's a spectrum and varies person to person, there's so much I just don't relate to. The violent outbursts, severe splitting, the manipulation and control. Obviously those aren't universal traits, but they get talked about like they are.
I have BPD and I don't experience any of that. What I experience is a lot of shame, and I've struggled with self-harm and suicide attempts in the past.
When I first got diagnosed years ago I was actually relieved. It felt like finally I had some kind of label that could give me a starting point. But ever since, watching how people talk about BPD online, the way they demonize it and make us out to be abusive monsters, I'm starting to think I don't want to be open about it anymore. I used to think disclosing was important because the diagnosis genuinely helped me. Now I'm reconsidering ever telling a future partner. Obviously if it were going to affect the relationship I'd feel like I owe it to them. But I've been stable for so long, and the way I actually experience BPD doesn't line up with the stereotypes at all. The whole label feels so loaded with assumptions that I don't want to say "I have BPD" and have someone immediately project a bunch of stuff onto me.
I cringe thinking about times I've casually mentioned it when people were discussing their own conditions, because back then I didn't realize how stigmatized it was. Of course, every mental illness has stigma, but I didn't realize how bad it was for this one specifically. Anyone else feel this way?