u/No_Speech3017

The best opening sentences of novels have been discussed to death. I find it far more interesting to discuss books that get by without needing to make a huge impression in the first sentence. I personally vote for Red Dragon by Thomas Harris “Will Graham sat Crawford down at a picnic table between the house and the ocean and gave him a glass of iced tea.” Says everything it needs to say but doesn’t do anything interesting or noteworthy for the start of a such an iconic series.

Hello again reddit. Last time I posted I received some helpful critiques for my query. How my character was demonstrated in it showed him to be too passive. My comparisons were too old. I used terminology that was somewhat egotistical. After editing some of the book to better illustrate motivation and refining the query this is my updated version. More feedback is appreciated no matter how small! Here it is.

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Dear [insert agent name]

It is my pleasure to introduce my debut novel A SYMPHONY FOR THE VULTURES. It is a satirical dark comedy that examines the absurd nature of modern American life through the lens of an anxious cynic dealing with both a midlife crisis and a national conspiracy. This is all included in a tight 54,000 words. A SYMPHONY FOR THE VULTURES would find good company on a bookshelf alongside other titles such as SHOCK INDUCTION by Chuck Palahniuk and VENOMOUS LUMPSUCKER by Ned Beauman. 

Allen Richards acknowledges his life is a failure. Everyone he knows is getting ahead in life while he hasn’t even started. He decides to betray his moral ideals in an attempt to achieve some level of mediocrity. He will apply for a position at the monolithic company Section Orange. Like everything else in life, he fails at this, too. So, after a chance encounter at a football game that leads him into a conspiracy, Allen investigates and uses it as an opportunity to find out where his place in this insane world truly is.

Along the way, he clings to what little he has left as he reignites his love with his reluctant girlfriend who leads a fanatic rebel militia. In their shared journey to uncover the truth they will have to go deep into an island made of garbage sitting on top of what used to be Galveston, TX. They will combine their efforts with a friend from Allen’s past who holds the key to uprooting the mystery. Upon the discovery of a secret government device that reads minds and the diagnosis of a terminal illness, Allen must make a choice: Will he become the whistleblower for the government's grand scheme or will he let the search for truth and purpose leave him even more paralyzed than when he began this farce?

Hello, I’ve never shared my work with people on the internet before so I’m very nervous. That being stated, please rip my query letter to shreds.

Dear [insert agent name]

It is my pleasure to introduce you to my debut novel A SYMPHONY FOR THE VULTURES, a satirical dark comedy that examines the absurd nature of modern American life, wrapped up in a tight 53,000 words. A SYMPHONY FOR THE VULTURES is likely to be a smash hit among fans who enjoy the relentless paranoia of THE CRYING OF LOT 49 by Thomas Pynchon and the hilarious, but profound contemplations in SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE by Kurt Vonnegut.

Following a disastrous job interview with the monolithic company Section Orange, Allen Richards must navigate the fictional city of Euler, TX as he uncovers the elements of a conspiracy that looms large over the entire nation. As the world descends into insanity around him, Allen must face constant setbacks from the likes of corporate-sponsored agents, gambling-addicted doctors, and Australian pirates. 

Along the way, he will have to rely on a ragtag team: Harriet Field, his reluctant girlfriend and a self-confident member of a rebel militia group that worships Hollywood actor Shelley Duvall, and Solomon, an elusive hacktivist who carries the key to uprooting the mystery of the massive series of underground tunnels below them. Upon the discovery of a secret government device that reads minds and the diagnosis of a terminal illness, Allen must make a choice: Will he become the whistleblower for the government's grand scheme or will he let the search for truth and purpose leave him more paralyzed in life than when he began?