u/No_segar

This feels insane to write but I also don't have normal circumstances.

In short, I grew up with significant health problems from early on into my early 20s, had some lowly jobs here and there until I decided to go to school for Advertising.

Anyway, I graduated in 2023 with an Advertising degree. I had a job lined up that I worked at for three years before being laid off a few months ago. When I went to school job prospects were solid, but since COVID its gone downhill as you might imagine. I have a great portfolio and resume but the industry is tough to navigate, especially in our economy. While interviews trickle in, I can't land anything because senior designers with more experience are beating me out.

I've moved back in with parents for the meantime, and I have a decent pile of savings and investments going. I think there's still opportunity for me, but I'm honestly pretty distraught about this and wish I had just gone for an engineering degree, especially now because I know the pros and cons of advertising industry and I've had a lot of exposure to engineering through my job. I interviewed with a company that markets for fast food and I didn't feel good about it.

I'd rather build tangible stuff that people actually use vs spinning up bullshit in powerpoint. Plus better pay, job stability, mobility. But it is daunting to go back to school full time and graduate late 30s with scattered and scant work experience.

What do you think? Do I just need to put my head down and grind at my current career and hope it works out?

32m. Back living at home with parents after a recent layoff and paralyzed by what's next. Sorry for length.

I've had a rough go at life. I grew up with significant health problems from spinal cord tumors that caused scoliosis as a kid. I've had multiple back surgeries and chemo since 2nd grade til early 20s. Various other related surgeries where I'm missing a shoulder blade and a rib. I seem pretty normal and can get around independently but I'm largely confined to desk jobs.

My teen years were nightmarish because the family placed a bet on a business that struggled in 08. Turned my dad into a raging psycho and physically abusive. By the time we left that business all ambition had been killed and zero confidence in myself. I didn't and couldn't do much with the health problems anyway. Which means I had jobs here and there but couldn't hold anything down or make anything of it.

I eventually graduated in 2023 with a degree in advertising and worked at an agency up until a few months ago after a layoff. I was told to follow my interests and while it may have been a decent career before COVID, it's becoming harder to justify. I have an excellent portfolio and resume — I've applied and can't land anything. The interviews I do get go to the final rounds (sometimes going overtime, which is a good sign) but always go to someone with more years of experience. Also some jobs I've interviewed for pay worse than when I started.

Thing is now I don't have the motivation to try to get back into the ad world. Too unstable and ageist and ego driven. I am socially awkward 90% of the time but can be outgoing and likable if I pull it together. I had an isolated upbringing (and worked alone remotely) and I'm sure that limits my chances of workplace advancement.

In my time in the ad world, I've been exposed to engineering of various kinds, I'm fascinated with tech and mechanics, VR headsets, robots, autonomous vehicles, writing code to make them function, etc. Actually building things people use instead of trying to sell Wendy's. I even wrote some code for process improvements at work and that was great exposure to understanding programming logic.

I've had crazy, possibly delusions of grandeur that I can make it through the local Engineering school. I'm behind on some math because of health problems and I'm not great at it and physics, but I don't hate them. I love money more. But I imagine a much greater degree of job stability, pay, and mobility in the long term. Maybe I can even utilize my design skills (HUD design, UX design, etc).

It's the only thing that interests me. Accounting looks like a snooze fest.

The only thing going for me right now is no debt and a decent pile of savings and investments that can cover me doing this full time, although I'd try to get part time work here and there. I'll graduate late 30s and probably end up with decent lifetime earnings, nothing exponentially better than if I continued with selling bullshit. I have no other life obligations.

I'm pretty angry and frustrated with how my life turned out against literally everyone else I know but it is what it is. Am I insane? Am I making this way harder for myself? All this time in school and not much work experience can't be good.

I know this isn't all my fault, but it is quite the fuckup.

I graduated in 2023 with a degree in advertising and worked at an agency until getting laid off a few months ago. Never had a deep care for it but I was great at it and there was a healthy industry where I am at, but its getting hit hard with the economy. I've applied and can't get interviews outside of my state, the interviews I do get go to the final rounds (sometimes overtime) but always go to someone with more years of experience.

Before then I worked odd jobs that amounted to nothing. I have significant health problems from spinal cord tumors that caused scoliosis as a kid. I've had multiple back surgeries since 2nd grade til early 20s. I can get around independently but I'm largely confined to sitting jobs.

Thing is now I don't have the motivation to try to get back into the ad world. Too unstable and ageist and ego driven. I am not autistic, but I am at worst horribly socially awkward and at best "likeable" whatever that means. I had an isolated upbringing and I'm sure that limits my chances of workplace advancement.

In my time in the ad world, I've been exposed to engineering of various kinds, I'm fascinated with tech and mechanics, VR headsets, robots and writing code to make them function, etc. Actually building things people use instead of selling Wendy's. I even wrote some code for process improvements at work and that was great exposure to understanding programming logic.

I've had crazy, possibly delusions of grandeur that I can make it through the local Engineering school. I'm behind on some math because of health problems and I'm not great at it and physics, but I don't hate them. But I imagine a much greater degree of job stability, pay, and mobility in the end. Maybe I can even utilize my design skills (HUD design, UX design, etc). I'm thinking I try to worm my way into a CAD technician job and then back to school from there.

It's the only thing that interests me. Accounting looks like a snooze fest. It'll be grueling and I'll need to work for at least some of it. I'll graduate late 30s and probably end up with decent lifetime earnings, nothing exponentially better. I have no other life obligations. I'm back with parents for the time being and have a little pile of savings.

Am I insane? I'm angry at myself.

I've had a rough go at life and trying to work on next steps.

I grew up with significant health challenges, and I didn't go to college until 26. I went into advertising because that's what I was good at. Where I live advertising was a healthy industry up until COVID. Now it gets hit harder in this economy. But I graduated with a job lined up and worked there for 3 years before getting laid off. Despite a strong portfolio and resume I can't get past final round interviews, they all go to people with more YOE on me.

Those three years of working are the only solid work experience I've had. I'm seeing a decline in the industry and thinking I'll be working 5x as hard as everyone else for less pay and job stability. I'm grateful for the work experience from there at least.

But with unemployment coming to an end, I'm starting to apply to roles outside my industry. Low level stuff. I have no debt because I started with community college and used pell grants. Also have solid savings.

At this point I'd rather just go back to uni for engineering, mechanical, electrical, etc. Something with stability and pay and status. No one respects the ad man. I'd rather get into robotics and solve actual problems. Not great at math and physics but I can grind at it.

The problem is going back to school, which will be hard while supporting myself, starting at entry level again, and ageism on the horizon.

And again health problems prevent me from doing prolonged physical labor.

I feel I've made too many f ups in life.

32F. Sorry this is long. I don't know how to explain this and I feel like I'm going crazy. I probably am but I need clarity on moving forward so I'll just lay it out.

My dad has been convinced I'm autistic for the past 14 years despite having been tested for it and not meeting the requirements. I was tested at 18, I'm 32 now. This came about because I was forced into therapy and the therapist suggested to my dad in private that I was on the spectrum. This is because in the sessions I was quiet and had a hard time making conversation and looking the therapist in the eye. From my view, I felt awkward being there because I had no personal reasons or incentive to talk to them.

So I was brought in to get tested. Results came back saying I'm just quiet, but not on the spectrum. It made my dad angry and he couldn't accept it.

Now from my perspective: Growing up, I was quieter than most kids but never thought of as being on the spectrum. In fact by around 10-12 I was pretty sociable with a healthy friend group. Then our family moved when I was 12 to a new state to start a business, which struggled to make money. We had it for 5 years, during which was a time of high stress. My dad became a different person and extremely abusive, and especially took it out on me. I struggled making friends at school with everything that was going on at home. It was so chaotic that I shut down and stopped talking altogether. Saw a f-ton of work go into something that didn't pay off at all. I'm still like this today with some marginal improvement. I have a very negative outlook.

Admittedly because of my teen years, combined with significant health challenges (multiple spinal cord surgeries), and living out in the middle of bumfck nowhere, I got a late start in life. Last time I was at a therapist I was diagnosed with mild-moderate depression (at some point I told him my dad believed I was on the spectrum, and he was shocked and assured me I'm not).

Anyway, since being tested for the spectrum at 18, my dad won't let up about my 'autism' and attributes everything I say and do to it.

Didn't want me getting a license to drive because of it. Didn't want me moving out of the house because of it (I did and then he told all the neighbors I had it without my knowledge). I joined a sports club and he talked to the coach behind my back about my autism. When I got laid off from my job he wrote a letter to the company that I have autism and would be investigating them for letting me go (I know for a fact it had nothing to do with the way I acted, just current day economic conditions. Also he never emailed this, just drafted it). Thinks I need significant help with interviewing, even though I accepted a job offer the other day. He's told all his friends about my autism and asks them for advice on how to handle me.

He knows I don't believe I'm autistic and doesn't talk to me about it. And I just ask where the financial assistance is for it! But I've sure as shit told him to f off many times. It feels like he's purposely inserting himself in my life and hindering my progression in adulthood. If I am on the spectrum, I should be getting the help I need, not some BS dancing around it and trying to get ahead of every situation.

Like what else is he doing behind my back that I don't know about as a result of this?

His ego knows no bounds and he believes he's above God (as indicated by him). Angry, entitled, and condescending all the time. The health problems and depression/anxiety certainly hasn't helped on that end but I'm doing as well as anyone else all things considered.

So why can't I cut him off you ask? Well I've tried everything short of going to the police. From my view, that will just cause a rift in the family I can't undo. I'm not sure HOW to get him out of the way for good.

Half the reason I still push forward in life is because I know there's a life where he's not in it.

Am I f'n crazy?

Or is business your life?