The texts. The checking. The waiting. Reading old messages like maybe there was some hidden answer in them
I know I was hurt, but god, it’s embarrassing to remember how much power I gave them. Like I wasn’t even trying to get them back sometimes. I was just trying to make the pain stop for five minutes
That’s the part I don’t see people talk about enough
I don’t know why this part hurts so much. Not even the breakup itself. More like looking back and realizing how small I became just to keep them close.
You stop asking for things. You act cool when you’re not. You accept less than you need. You wait for tiny signs and call them hope.
And then when it ends, you’re not only missing them.
You’re sitting there like… who was I during all of that?
That’s the part that makes me feel stupid.
Maybe you don’t even miss them anymore. You miss the hope. The apology you imagined. The version of them that came back different. The moment where everything finally made sense. You try so hard to let go, but it’s not just the person you’re losing. It’s the fantasy too.
Does anyone else feel this?..