PSA to the Midwest transplants wearing shorts today: Real New Yorkers don't compromise the drip just because the heat index is 100°. Deadass.
Walked into my local bodega this morning to get my bacon, egg, and cheese, and saw some Murray Hill finance bro wearing linen shorts and Birkenstocks. Sickening. Are we really letting the city lose its edge like this?
It’s currently 98 degrees out here with the humidity of a swamp, but you best believe I’m outside in my black Moncler bubble coat, fresh butter Timbs, and a shiesty. My girl is right next to me rocking her chestnut Uggs and a full length North Face puffer.
Yeah, I’m sweating profusely. Yeah, I lost four pounds of water weight walking between the bus and the training. But that’s what it takes to protect the culture.
Transplants think dressing for the weather is "smart" and "prevents heatstroke." Soft. My guy, the concrete jungle demands respect. The heat index is strictly a mindset. If you aren't aggressively marinating in your own bodily fluids inside 800fill goose down do you even actually live here?
Anyway, my vision is starting to blur, I am suffering from severe dehydration, and my Timbs are currently filled to the brim with ankle sweat. What local ER has the best AC so I can get a saline drip without taking off my coat? Yerrrr.