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It’s irritating but I notice that when I envision scenes, I see it in a cinematic way as if it’s being filmed. Multiple angles, coloring, everything.
When you guys visualize (some people don’t) what’s going on, does it feel taken from movie shots or from your real life?
I wonder sometimes what I would see if I was reading it in the 1800s.
Hope I’m making sense
I'm just exhausted. I had the worst mixed episode I've had in years on my first week of training. I was so excited to get the job. Needless to say, I couldn't perform the job after training, because my brain was not in a place to soak anything in. I was literally staring at my computer crying like a weirdo (thank goodness it was remote, cameras off)
It's not fair. I've lost jobs before because my episodes get so bad I have to call in sick for weeks. I'm medicated but it seems like medication can only do so much.
I don't know, it's hard not to get down. I didn't ask for this and it gets so bad I don't have control. I'm smart, I am hardworking. But it doesn't seem to fucking matter.