u/Numerous-History-578

I live in East Anglia and I have Suffolk, Norfolk, Lancastrian, Widnes and Rutland heritage with traces of Welsh and Irish. Because I am mainly 'English' (and a large chunk of that is likely Anglo Saxon) I sometimes have difficulties with the sources of Brythonic culture being so Welsh/Irish heavy. I know of the history and I am completely aware of why this is. I'm aware of a few surviving fragments from the tribes that were in modern day England such as Andraste in the East and Brigantia in the north. Does anyone know of any reliable sources to find out more about worship, practices and deities please?

I'm not sure if this a rant or request for advice!

I'm in my early 40s and I've been a carer for a child with complex disabilities for nearly 17 years (i.e. cerebral palsy + complex learning disabilities + autism) who needs lots of care. Before kids I had a good job in law, then I had a 10 year career break, but I managed to go back to part time work 6 years ago and had a reasonably successful career in legal adjacent non profit roles. However, during 6 years I have also had long Covid (breathlessness and fatigue) but tried to ignore it and work through it at the same time as pacing with exercise. A few years ago I got my ADHD then autism diagnoses and also left work due to a combination of reasons not directly linked to health/neurodivergence. It was more of a perfectionist impact seeking drive, not believing in the organisation and being let down by management. Since then I have been following my own projects freelance and trying to move into a different career area but not getting paid. I stopped taking my ADHD meds last December but can't really remember why except that I wanted to unmask and not feel the need to be on meds. I wasn't sure how much they were doing for me, didn't really trust my provider but because I'm in UK and was privately diagnosed couldn't switch provider. I was on elvanse but that felt like it made me go down rabbit holes of hyperfixation, so I switched to atomoxetine which was ok but I don't know how much it helped. I'm now obese and fatigued as a result of two new Covid infections in the last 9 months. The health system here can't do anything about my long Covid and doesn't seem to care. My GP won't recognise my ADHD diagnosis either so it really feels like I'm on my own. I struggle to remember even to take my prescribed iron tablets which I think isn't helping my health. I tried taking sertraline for depression but came off it because it affected my sleep. I have a tonne of supplements I want to be taking to help my long Covid but can't seem to take them and I'm not sure if it is procrastination, demand avoidance or what. I'm also not very good at remembering to sleep enough. People don't realise how badly I am functioning because they don't see behind the scenes, so then I feel like I still have to mask. The obesity is difficult to come back from because the long Covid makes it difficult to exercise, food is one of my few solaces and the perimenopause hormones have kicked in making me a different shape. This in turn also affects my self esteem.

I feel like I have unmasked so much not just in terms of neurodivergence but also in terms of my long Covid. However, I am not getting paid and also not achieving anything in my startup non profit because of energy levels and also going off on side quests and then also being a parent of 3 kids and trying to spend time with my parents because my dad is in end stage Parkinsons. I am constantly beating myself up for not achieving, and feel guilty that my husband is supporting us financially and worried about my financial security in older age due to not working and building a pension. I feel like I unmasked so much that I don't know how to work anymore, but also feel so tired and unmotivated. Everything feels like a demand and I feel like I'm fighting myself. But I used to achieve so much and still have the vestiges of a professional reputation, the work world doesn't yet know how unproductive I have become. I even have an unpaid invitation to speak on a panel at a fairly prestigious event next week, which I know will be exhausting. Part of me doesn't want to feel the need to be productive but the other part knows that I need to feel a sense of achievement and also get paid one day. Part of me says that it is alright not to work if I am a carer and have health issues, but the other part of me says that I want to achieve more in my life. Part of me says I need to go back on my ADHD meds, the other part doesn't know if that will help. I feel like I am going round and round in circles and am really confused. Right now I have another low level cold type virus as a result of overdoing it and getting fatigued, so I guess that is affecting my mental health too.

I don't know how to move forward out of this slump!