u/Numideas

Can we talk about how Islam isn't a vending machine?

I keep seeing this pattern and it genuinely frustrates me. The idea that if you pray enough, give enough charity, avoid haram, do everything right good things will happen to you. And if bad things happen it must mean you did something wrong or your iman isn't strong enough. Like so many people unconsciously believe this.

That's not Islam. That's prosperity gospel in an Islamic jacket.

The Quran never promises that good deeds produce good outcomes in this dunya. It promises justice in the akhirah. Those are fundamentally different things.

The most righteous people in Islamic history suffered the most. The Prophet SAW lost children, lost his wife, was boycotted, was starved, was driven from his home, had people throw stones at him until he bled. Was his iman not strong enough?

Yaqub AS cried until he went blind from losing his son. Ayyub AS lost everything like his health, wealth, family. Yusuf AS was thrown in a well by his brothers and imprisoned for years for something he didn't do. These aren't people with weak iman being punished. These are the best humans who ever lived experiencing the worst things possible.

So when someone says just make dua and Allah will fix it or if you're struggling it's because you're not close enough to Allah, that's not theology. That's a toxic positivity that puts the blame on the person suffering.

Are you blaming genocide or war survivors for not praying themselves out of horrible situations? No ofcourse not, so it would also apply to other scenarios.

Dua isn't a transaction. You don't input prayer and output result. The hadith says dua is answered in three ways. You get what you asked for, something harmful is kept away that you'll never know about, or it's stored for the akhirah. Two out of three are completely invisible to you. You'll never know which door your dua went through. That's not a system designed for instant gratification. That's a system designed for trust.

When your dua doesn't work and you feel betrayed you should ask yourself who actually betrayed you. Allah never promised you that specific outcome. You promised it to yourself. You decided what should happen, told Allah about it, and when He didn't cosign your plan you called it betrayal or punishment. But He never promised you this. You promised it yourself and got angry at Him for not honoring something He never agreed to.

That's not a relationship with Allah. That's a relationship with a version of Allah you built in your head who exists to serve your plans. And when the real Allah, aka the one who actually runs the universe does something different, you don't question your expectations. You question Him.

And I don’t think people do it consciously. But our emotional response to unanswered prayer says it for us.

Also keeping away from haram doesn't mean your life will be easy. It means you're obeying Allah. That's it. The reward is with Him not necessarily in your bank account or your health or your marriage. Obedience isn't a transaction. It's worship.

I think this mentality of do good get good actually damages people's faith more than almost anything else. Because when they DO everything right and life still falls apart they think either Allah abandoned them or they weren't good enough. Neither is true.

Life just isn't fair. Atleast not in this dunya. The Quran promises justice on the Day of Judgement not on a random afternoon.

And it goes the other way too, someone's life going well doesn't mean Allah is pleased with them. The Quran says your wealth and your children are only a test (64:15). Worldly success is not a sign of divine approval. Worldly suffering is not a sign of divine punishment.

Can we just normalise the idea that you can do everything right and still struggle? That's not a failure of your iman. That's just dunya being dunya. And the actual test isn't whether good things happen to you. It's what the difficulty does to your heart.

Also people mistake sabr for passivity. And mistake what trials can islamically have multiple purposes and some even at the same time. That includes wiping away sins, or getting you on the right path, or life lessons or something else.

I genuinely say this out of place of wanting best for everyone here as I keep seeing these unconscious beliefs in some of the threads. And I think it would help a lot of people mentally like even in the midst of their struggle to realize that. It doesn’t make the trials easier, but you are also not at fault. Some things are not in your hands, and some might need asbab from you.

I was thinking about du'a just a second ago and something clicked that I don't think gets talked about enough. I think sometimes we walk around feeling like we're carrying everything alone. Like nobody is thinking of you. Nobody cares. That you're invisible, and in the dunya maybe it does feel that way. Like we all have our struggles. 

But in the unseen it's the complete opposite. And till like 5 minutes ago i never truly realized what that actualy means. But hear me out as I will try to explain it. 

You are being prayed for right now. By someone who doesn't know your name. The ummah functions as a single organism in the unseen. There is a web of du'a so dense and so constant that no individual Muslim is ever, for even one second, not being prayed for by someone, somewhere. Like think about that for a second as it goes multiple ways. 

Every Muslim who prays says "as-salamu alayna wa ala ibadillahi as-saliheen" in every every prayer. Peace upon us and upon the righteous servants of Allah. That's not a personal du'a. That's a something that covers every believer on earth. Nearly two billion Muslims across every timezone and therefore someone is always in prayer. 

And it’s not even prayer, like there are so many dua’s made for the ummah, the believers, the Muslims, those who are strugglings, those who believed from the beginning of times till the end of days, or whatever. Like think for a second you were included in that. Those dua’s are also meant for you. Those poeple don’t know you. But in the unseen, you were taking into account for it. 

And on every single one of those dua, an angel said ameen and asked Allah to give the one who made the du'a the same thing. So the blessing doesn't just travel, it comes back. So therefore every thread in the web of dua amplifies. Nobody loses. And you could even argue the system generates more mercy as a result. 

Now think about what that looks like. You making du'a for the ummah is reaching someone in a hospital in Gaza. Someone in tahajjud in Malaysia is reaching you without knowing you exist. An old woman in Mauritania who has never heard of you is asking Allah to forgive the believers, and you're one of them. A child who just learned to pray is stumbling through the words and covering you by accident. Angels are saying ameen on all of it simultaneously. 

And it's not limited to the living. When someone says "O Allah forgive the believers" that includes believers who died centuries ago. So the people in the barzakh it's the complete opposite experience from the dunya. Like think about it for a second. You are surrounded by a constant rain of du'a from people who will never know your name.

So the loneliness some of you feel (the sense that nobody cares, you're on your own, nobody is making du'a for you specifically) in the unseen you are surrounded by a constant, invisible rain of dua from people you'll never meet. Like maybe this will give hope to some of you who are struggling. 

So perhaps if you're sitting there feeling alone or struggling somehow, make du'a for others who feels the same or experiencing the same. An angel will immediately ask Allah to lift yours. So who knows maybe the good you experienced in your life is partly because of a dua a stranger made? 

Like I knew this, but I didn't fully realize it till just now. 

May Allah accept it from all of us. 🤍

I was thinking about du'a just a second ago and something clicked that I don't think gets talked about enough. I think sometimes we walk around feeling like we're carrying everything alone. Like nobody is thinking of you. Nobody cares. That you're invisible, and in the dunya maybe it does feel that way. Like we all have our struggles. 

But in the unseen it's the complete opposite. And till like 5 minutes ago i never truly realized what that actualy means. But hear me out as I will try to explain it. 

You are being prayed for right now. By someone who doesn't know your name. The ummah functions as a single organism in the unseen. There is a web of du'a so dense and so constant that no individual Muslim is ever, for even one second, not being prayed for by someone, somewhere. Like think about that for a second as it goes multiple ways. 

Every Muslim who prays says "as-salamu alayna wa ala ibadillahi as-saliheen" in every every prayer. Peace upon us and upon the righteous servants of Allah. That's not a personal du'a. That's a something that covers every believer on earth. Nearly two billion Muslims across every timezone and therefore someone is always in prayer. 

And it’s not even prayer, like there are so many dua’s made for the ummah, the believers, the Muslims, those who are strugglings, those who believed from the beginning of times till the end of days, or whatever. Like think for a second you were included in that. Those dua’s are also meant for you. Those poeple don’t know you. But in the unseen, you were taking into account for it. 

And on every single one of those dua, an angel said ameen and asked Allah to give the one who made the du'a the same thing. So the blessing doesn't just travel, it comes back. So therefore every thread in the web of dua amplifies. Nobody loses. And you could even argue the system generates more mercy as a result. 

Now think about what that looks like. You making du'a for the ummah is reaching someone in a hospital in Gaza. Someone in tahajjud in Malaysia is reaching you without knowing you exist. An old woman in Mauritania who has never heard of you is asking Allah to forgive the believers, and you're one of them. A child who just learned to pray is stumbling through the words and covering you by accident. Angels are saying ameen on all of it simultaneously. 

And it's not limited to the living. When someone says "O Allah forgive the believers" that includes believers who died centuries ago. So the people in the barzakh it's the complete opposite experience from the dunya. Like think about it for a second. You are surrounded by a constant rain of du'a from people who will never know your name.

So the loneliness some of you feel (the sense that nobody cares, you're on your own, nobody is making du'a for you specifically) in the unseen you are surrounded by a constant, invisible rain of dua from people you'll never meet. Like maybe this will give hope to some of you who are struggling. 

So perhaps if you're sitting there feeling alone or struggling somehow, make du'a for others who feels the same or experiencing the same. An angel will immediately ask Allah to lift yours. So who knows maybe the good you experienced in your life is partly because of a dua a stranger made? 

Like I knew this, but I didn't fully realize it till just now. 

May Allah accept it from all of us. 🤍

Okay random I've genuinely never seen this hadith shared before here or elsewhere.  It could literally be me but I genuinely never seen it mentioned before 

"And may I inform you of the people of the Hell-Fire? They are all those violent, arrogant and stubborn people." Bukhari 4918.

"May I not inform you about the inmates of Hell-Fire? They are all proud, mean and haughty." Muslim 2853.

So basically Muttafaqun alayhi (meaning it's in both Bukhari and Muslim which some scholars consider the highest level of authentication)

I keep seeing discussions about violence, crime, historical atrocities and the like. This hadith literally describes that. As often people doing that are violent AND arrogant AND stubborn. And yet I've never seen it mentioned once. Not on social media or any lecture I’ve seen. Literally nowhere. 

I found it myself by accident this year and im not going to lie to you I was also like we focus on sort of things leading to hell but looking at the level of violence and crime being perpuated historically and even now I always found it strange no one explicitly talked more about it in context of Hadith.  And here it’s literally “all people”. 

And it’s not even about physical violence or criminals but just that behavior pattern and how violence and arrogance are explicitely big things in the Quran. 

So my question is have you ever heard of this before?

Not looking for anything specific just things Muslim related that spark joy. It could be literally anything. Funny accounts, wholesome creators, podcasts, scholars or communities that actually feel warm, meme pages, YouTube channels or anything Muslim-oriented that genuinely makes you smile or feel good. Like it can be muslim in the broadest term like it doesn’t have to be literal lectures or deen related stuff.

Like I personally like TikTok ramadan cats, but also like some of Omar Suleiman’s regular videos as he has such a calm positive energy about him.

I shared this in this sub during Ramadan but I occasionally get DMs about it so I'm reposting for anyone who missed it.  Kids need help year-round not just during Ramadan. 

I'm not affiliated with any charity, just someone who's been doing this for years: 

When I was younger, I knew people who sponsored kids from Gaza, from refugee camps and from all over the world. I thought it was really cool. Like these were people who were actually doing something, not just talking about how sad the situation is.

But I also thought it was expensive. Like something you do when you're established and have extra money.

Then I got my first real job after college (the salary was not great), did the math, and realized… wait, this is actually affordable? Like, less-than-my-phone-bill affordable or eating out affordable? 

So I signed up. Set it to auto-pay monthly so I wouldn't forget. That was years ago and I'm still doing it.

We're watching kids get orphaned in real time. Gaza, Sudan, Yemen and elsewhere. We see the news, we see the numbers, and it's overwhelming. There's this helplessness of "what can one person even do?"

Orphan sponsorship is something. It's not going to stop wars or fix systemic issues, but it IS going to keep specific kids in their communities, in school, with a chance at their own future. And that’s honestly why im talking about it, I prefer not to talk about this. But if even one other person gets inspired by this I consider this worthwhile. 

The money keeps kids in school instead of working. That's the main thing. Not just "feeding a hungry kid" (though that matters too), but changing the whole trajectory.

For a lot of these families, the choice after losing the father is either kid works to help pay bills, or kid stays in school. Your sponsorship means they can choose school.

But it's more than individual impact. It keeps kids IN their communities. They're not displaced further, not institutionalized, not separated from their culture and language. They stay with their remaining family (usually the mother), in their own environment, building a future there.

It lets them be kids. They get to go to school, play, have a childhood instead of being forced into adult responsibilities at 8 or 10 years old because the family needs income.

It impacts the whole community. There are literal studies on this. Poverty and lack of education correlate with higher crime rates, instability, cycles that repeat across generations. When kids get education and opportunity, they become productive community members instead of desperate ones. They break the cycle instead of passing it on.

One kid staying in school → becomes educated adult → supports their own family → raises their own kids with opportunity → community gets stronger instead of weaker.

That's not abstract. That's how communities rebuild after devastation.

I grew up Muslim but I don't think I really noticed how much the Quran talks about orphans until I started paying attention.

There are so many verses about orphans in Al-Baqarah, An-Nisa, Al-Isra… it's not some side thing. It's presented as core to whether you're actually living Islam or just going through motions.

But it’s also mentioned in the Hadith. The Prophet (saw) himself was an orphan. This isn't an abstract to him. He knew what it meant to lose parents, to need community support, to grow up without a father. Of course orphan care is emphasized.

I'm not claiming this makes me some amazing person. It's automated. I don't think about it month-to-month. I get a yearly update and sometimes we exchange letters, which is… honestly really grounding. Reminds me there's an actual person on the other end of this, with actual dreams and potential.

The impact-to-effort ratio is kind of absurd. 

Small amount from me, automated, barely crosses my mind = kid getting education, staying with their family, building a future in their own community, extreme poverty cycle broken. 

You're also usually helping a widow. Most of these kids lost their father, so the mother is raising them alone and struggling financially. 

Your support relieves her burden so she doesn't have to work multiple jobs just to survive or do things she doesn’t want to do for money out of desperation. She can actually parent instead of just scrambling for money.

I think there are probably people like younger-me who admire people who do this but think "I can't afford that" or "that's for people with more money."

And like… you probably can afford it. Most of us can, if we're honest about where our money goes. It's less than what a lot of us spend on stuff we don't think twice about. 

But do the math on your own, this is a commitment for years on. Like don’t take my word for it, look at your own life. 

Also, if you're Muslim and paying zakaat anyway, this can count toward that (through legit organizations that do proper transfers). 

So it's not even "extra" money, it's just… where your obligatory charity goes.

Right now we're watching communities get destroyed. Kids losing parents, families losing everything, entire generations at risk of growing up in trauma and poverty with no path forward.

Orphan sponsorship doesn't fix the root causes. Think the wars, the displacement, the systemic injustices. But it DOES mean that specific kids get to stay kids, stay in school, stay with their families and communities, and have a shot at building their own futures instead of being trapped in cycles of poverty and desperation.

And when you multiply that across thousands of sponsored kids, you're literally helping communities stay together and rebuild. You're preventing the downstream effects of poverty. The crime, the instability, the generational trauma that happens when kids have no opportunity and no hope. 

This is what the Quran is talking about when it emphasizes orphan care so heavily. It's not charity for charity's sake. It's about maintaining the social fabric, about making sure vulnerable people aren't abandoned, about communities taking care of their own.

This is one of those things the Quran is really clear about. It's not buried in interpretations or debated rulings. It's direct, repeated, emphasized.

If you're trying to figure out what Islam actually prioritizes (vs. what traditional culture emphasizes), look at how much Quran space is dedicated to it. Orphan care takes up a lot of verses.

For people who don't want their own kids:

(This might not apply to you, but it applied to me so I'm mentioning it)

I realized pretty young I didn't want kids of my own. Not conflicted about it, just not interested in marriage or raising children. I might change my mind but I doubt it. 

Over a lifetime, if you sponsor consistently, you might impact 3+ kids total (as some age out and you sponsor new ones). That's actually more than most people have biologically, and you're helping kids who are already here and struggling.

You're not raising them day-to-day (that's not your capacity or desire), but you ARE enabling their futures. And the Quran seems to care a lot more about whether you're helping orphans than whether you personally have biological children.

Multiple orgs offer this. Cost varies by country/region but it's generally affordable (think: cost of a few coffees per month, or a phone bill). 

But I will mention it might be on average more expensive in your specific country. I know costs definitely differ due to currency and the like.

You can start with one kid. If your income goes up, you can add more.

Right now, with everything happening, with kids being orphaned in front of our eyes. This is something you can actually do. Not just donate once and feel helpless again next week, but sustained support that keeps a kid in their community, in school, building a future.

So if you've been thinking about it but convinced yourself you can't afford it yet you should definitely check. You might be surprised.

This is one of those things the Quran makes really clear actually matters.

Anyway. That's my pitch. Feel free to ask questions or tell me I'm wrong about any of this.

I’m not affiliated with any organizations or work in any way for charity. So I’ll be not recommending any charities or anything of that kind. 

Also I know there are many horrific things going on in Sudan, Gaza and the like, but don’t forget there are kids all over the world that need help. Including older kids, from both genders, from less famous regions/countries.

Today reminded me how fast everything can change. You wake up and it's a normal day. You're going about your life, maybe stressing about something that feels massive in the moment. And then one thing happens and suddenly everything you were worried about today even feels completely irrelevant. Like none of it matters anymore. It's amazing how quickly your brain rearranges what's important when something real happens.

Okay sorry this will be very depressing and deep but i feel in such an emotional place right now i just need this moment like even if no one will read it. Maybe it will even help others.

I think we all walk around with this illusion of control. We plan, we prepare, we organise our lives, and because most days go according to plan we start believing we're actually in charge. We're not. We never were. We just get comfortable because most days are ordinary and we mistake routine for security. Like obviously as muslims we all know Allah is in charge, but the routine of daily life sometimes makes that seem so far away like almost theoretical. And i dont mean that in a dismissive way but more how your brain can fool you.

We say alhamdulillah out of habit. We say it when things are good, we say it when someone asks how we are. But do we actually feel it? Do we actually sit with the fact that the health, safety, and wellbeing of the people we love is not guaranteed? That it can change just like thst in one moment without warning? The boring ordinary stressful day where nothing happens and everyone you love is okay, that's the blessing. We just don't recognise it as one until something shakes us out of it. And to my big surprise today i said alhamdulillah in the moment of crisis and i meant it. I cant believe i meant it. But i meant it even more than the alhamdulillah of all those blessings.

Nobody talks about the people around the person going through the trial either. Everyone focuses on the person suffering and rightfully so. But watching someone you love go through something and not being able to fix it, not being able to take it from them, just standing there with your hands tied, that's its own test. And it's one nobody prepares you for. Because i wish it was me instead. Like it’s maybe a bit toxic but it would hurt less if it was me. 

Because this helplessness is its own torture.

This is when tawakkul stops being a concept and becomes the only thing you have left. We throw that word around sooo easily. Trust in Allah. Rely on Allah. But when you're actually in the moment where you literally cannot do anything and the only option left is to make dua and hope. And that's what i did. But it didnt keep the big emotions away and the helplessness it sounds like a paradox but im being sincere right now.

I'm not writing this to be depressing. If anything it's the opposite. It's a reminder to stop taking the ordinary for granted. To be kinder to the people around you right now while things are normal. To say alhamdulillah and actually mean it. To make dua for the people you love not just when crisis hits but now at this moment. For their health, their safety, their wellbeing, their family and everything. You don't know what even an hour later looks like.

And if you have a moment, please keep my family in your duas tonight. Something happened today to someone very close to me and I feel helpless because there's nothing I can do except ask Allah and ask you. It’s still ongoing but this is the only thing I can do. 

If anyone else is carrying something silently right now, drop a comment. I'll make dua for you too. We don't always know what people are going through.

Genuine question because I'm actually curious. How much do you actually engage with Muslim social media or Muslim community spaces online? Do you actively follow Muslim content creators, scholars, or community pages? Or do you avoid it, limit it, or curate it heavily? And why?

I ask because I personally barely engage with Muslim specific social media. I watch lectures and attend things irl but online I mostly avoid it. This subreddit being one of the rare examples I occasionally check. Tbh I mostly avoid it irl as well I attend one sister group in the mosque and they host less then a dozen a times a year.  

And I've heard the same from a lot of other Muslims. Curious if that's common or if I'm in a bubble.

For context I don’t consider myself a cultural muslim or anything, I just don’t engage much with the community as a whole. 

Does anyone else find it exhausting how much other people in the community care about your life choices when you genuinely never think about theirs? I don't know what their issue is but they act like they are some sort of community intelligence service.

Not talking about direct pressure to change, more the background noise. The gossiping. The comments that get back to you through your mother. The opinions from people you barely know about decisions that have nothing to do with them.

There are two types. The ones who come at you directly with opinions about your life choices. And the ones who never speak to you personally but somehow know everything and make sure it gets back to you through your mother or others in your life.

So many things they say aren't even real. I once overheard someone say I was married and living in another country and they asked my mom about it. There was a whole vivid description of my fake husband. At the very least they claimed he was a goodlooking man and rich. Thanks a lot aunties.

The Prophet ﷺ said part of good Islam is leaving alone what doesn't concern you. Someone needs to forward that to the neighbourhood watch. Honestly the only reason I even care is because it gives my mother anxiety and therefore she annoys me with it. Otherwise frankly the people gossiping are the ones with the problem on their scroll, not me.

How do you all deal with this? Not in the sense of changing their minds, I've accepted that's not happening. More just the daily management of people who think your life is open for commentary. Whether it's people in your face or people working through your family like a relay system. Marriage, career, lifestyle, or whateve. Like these people love to gossip about everything. Some of the stuff isn’t even remotely funny like how the house of someone looked like while a loved one of theirs died.

How do you handle the noise of people who treat your personal choices like they have a dsy in them while you couldn't care less about theirs? The funny part is it's not even only the older generation and it's both genders.

Funny stories, coping mechanisms, solidarity all welcome. 🤍

Salam ladies 🤍 

I'm visiting London for a few days with some relatives. It’s just us girls, cousins, aunts and the like. It’s the first time in the UK so we are completely unfamiliar with the city. And I know there are so many uk ladies here. 

I would love recommendations on:

Places to shop and explore. Which areas are worth spending time in for shopping, walking around, soaking up the atmosphere? 

Hidden gems. Think things that aren't on every tourist list but genuinely worth knowing about.

Touristy things. Which ones are actually worth it and which ones to skip? 

Food. This is the big one. Halal obviously but genuinely good food. Any cuisine. Specific restaurant recommendations very welcome not just general areas. But areas are also great to know. 

Practical tips. Think getting around, things to know as a first timer in London. But also anything else we should know in regard to safety or whatever in the like? 

JazakAllahu khayran in advance 🤍