My dad started a group chat with my whole extended family to "discuss" my life choices and I wasn't in it
Found out about it by accident. My cousin let it slip during a phone call, thought I already knew
I'm 27, I moved to a different city two years ago for work, I don't call home as often as my parents would like, and I'm not in a relationship which my dad apparently views as a crisis that requires community intervention. None of these things are secrets, we've talked about all of them, I just have a different opinion about what's normal and what requires urgent fixing.
So at some point in the last few months my dad created a group chat with my aunts, uncles, grandparents, and two of my cousins. The stated purpose based on what my cousin described was to "figure out how to help" me. Topics apparently included why I'm not married yet, whether my job is stable, whether I seem happy, and what they as a family could do to "encourage" me to move back closer to home.
I was not in this group chat. My life was being discussed and strategized about and I had no idea.
When I called my dad he didn't really deny it. He said he was just worried and wanted to get everyone on the same page. I asked him what page that was exactly. He said the page where the family supports each other. I said that support usually involves the person being supported knowing about it. He thought I was being ungrateful.
I'm not angry in a dramatic way, I'm just kind of stunned that this seemed like a reasonable thing to do. I'm a grown adult. I pay my own rent. I have not asked for an intervention.