My wife said we always did what I wanted.
My wife always referred to our marriage as my show. She meant it in a way that it was all about me or what I wanted
I’m autistic, 31 she is 28, she is a chaotic organizer. I am ocd literally diagnosed ocd. I have thrown away year old stuff from our fridge since she left. I have thrown away paper work from over 10 years ago from before we were married.
Our whole marriage she wanted a large house. Less than one year into marriage on my income alone we got a non traditional credit loan and bought the third house we looked at.
She went through multiple hobbies throughout our marriage every one was going to be a successful business. Non ever panned out in fact she gave up on them and I usually tried to help her until I got tired of doing it alone. Our whole marriage was these events. Whether it was a garden or the chickens and goats I still have she’d start it and I’d be the one finishing it, keeping it alive.
When I found out it was on Sunday the 21st after driving 6 hours home from our 9th anniversary trip. Our anniversary date was June 17th. Our son was born June 19th 2021. We were married in 2017. And now the 21st is the date that will live in infamy. My Pearl Harbor if you will.
She hadn’t said I love you back to me in like a month. So I asked why, no response, so I asked do you not anymore? She said not for some time now. I asked if she was going to leave me. She said yes but hadn’t figured all of the details out yet. I asked if she had cheated and she said yes earlier today the 21st of June.
She cheated with her 53 year old boss. He has all the money she could ever need. She will finally get those fake tits she has asked for since we got married yes since we got married and we’re on my less than 40,000 a year income alone she was asking for those back then.
I’m already certain it’s all tied to her daddy issues and family issues from childhood. I’m really confused though, had this secretly been her show all along. She wanted all of the things. A giant house new money making projects this next thing will make her feel complete or happy. I think he is currently filling her desire to get the things she wants. Throughout our marriage she always said slyly I get what I want. I thought it was a joke but I think she meant it now.
Was my wife always looking for more?
Like I’m not rich I’m blue collar and I make a decent wage but not giant house suburban happiness setting wage. We have lived in a nice single wide for the last couple years after selling the house we couldn’t afford on my income. She got a full time job a couple years ago and things got a lot easier. But both of us just kind of bought more things. She got obsessed with work and my son and I got left by ourselves a lot.
I had a struggle with porn addiction when we got married. I’ve had that on and off during our marriage. The last few years I’ve been making a lot of progress in that area. Completely clean now. She would get so angry at me for it. She put parental controls on my phone at one point for several years.
I understand now she had severe self image issues going back into childhood because she watched her mom deal with a cheating father and do everything she could to be more attractive. I think I failed to tell my wife often enough how beautiful she was or how much she meant to me.
I really tried to take care of her though. I was there for her when her mother was fighting breast cancer and later succumbed to brain cancer. I was there when she found out her father was a lier and cheater. When she found out he may have been cheating on her mother when she was dying. I was there when her father got 2 dui and she needed more support. I tried to give her all the thing nags for projects and hobbies she wanted. I tried to purchase 3 different houses for her over the course of our marriage.
Is she with this 53 year old because he gives her fatherly fulfillment? Does it satisfy some kind of desire to be dominated? She has that desire let me tell you. I’m not that kind of guy either. I’m the loving type soft spoken until I need to not be. Like if I’m angry things have gotten bad I a fairly peaceable autist. Why did she cheat on me with a multimillionaire 53 year old? I never returned interest from other women. I barely even talked to other women. Heck I’m not even comfortable around women generally. It took me way too long to ask my sooner than later ex wife out. She would freak is a woman smiled at me. I’m at a loss.
She always said things like I want a man who will fight for me and chase me. What does that mean? Three weeks later I have so many questions. Not a lot of answers. She told me she was just gonna figure it all out then tell me. She never expected me to ask questions and catch on. I didn’t think she was this kind of woman. I never expected her to just up and leave on day. I did so much for her. We had our ups and downs but I loved her.
Anyways there’s my rant any thoughts would be much appreciated answers to the questions also appreciated. Thanks!