Think about it.

1. The Appearance: It's literally yellow/white and covered in "craters" (which are obviously just air bubbles from the fermentation process, exactly like Swiss cheese).
2. The Apollo Missions: Why did they actually bring back "rocks"? Because human teeth aren't strong enough to bite into aged, vacuum-sealed space cheddar without breaking. They had to use chisels.
3. The Smell: Apollo astronauts literally said moon dust smells like "burnt gunpowder." You know what else smells sharp and smoky? Smoked Gouda.

NASA is hoarding the universe's largest dairy reserve to control the global pizza market. Open your eyes.

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