r/LowStakesConspiracies

Elon Musk has alopecia, which is why he never has a beard or any body hair
▲ 603 r/LowStakesConspiracies+1 crossposts

Elon Musk has alopecia, which is why he never has a beard or any body hair

His hair is a combination of toupees and failed hair plugs

u/FunkyChewbacca — 1 day ago

(UK) Jeremy Kyle was shown during the day to convince kids to stay in school

Think about it, this show was about uneducated people in poverty fighting over who is the biological dad, cheating or other undesirable situations. The UK government made it so this was shown during the days so kids who faked being sick to get off school would think twice about skipping school again, lest they become like a Jeremy Kyle guest

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u/lateralraising — 1 day ago

Reddit has been recommending days old threads in obscure subs because its running out of content.

Bots have killed discussion in the popular subs so only fairly niche subs like "r/onionlovers" (130,000 weekly visitors) get any 'real' activity and so thats what they push out into your feed.

This also suggests that reddit knows bot chatter from real discussion.

Shows over lads.

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u/CloacaRimJob — 1 day ago

"Travel while you're young" is a scam to keep young people from being able to afford property.

Title speaks for itself really.

If you spend all of your savings going partying in Ibiza or backpacking through SE Asia or just travelling abroad a couple times a year it's enough to eat into a house deposit and knock a property purchase back a decade or more.

Keeping more people trapped in the rental market for longer.

For example. My cousin was planning a big wedding with his fiancé and a house purchase for after they were married. They've become obsessed with influencers that are "full time world travellers" that earn money by posting videos of their travels online.

Two days ago they announced that they're delaying the wedding, pulling out of their house purchase and are now going to spend the next year travelling the other side of the globe with every penny of their savings.

And I'm not against travel at all, me and my partner spend around £8,000per year on holidays all over the globe. But we are homeowners, we made a plan to not travel for a couple of years so that we could buy a house and then travel as much as we like without worrying about savings for anything because we've already got it!

EDIT

Just to clarify, I'm not against travelling while you're young at all! It just feels as though young people are being pushed to prioritise it over buying property and getting themselves set up first. Thus keeping them trapped in the rental market.

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u/Aggressive-Creamer — 1 day ago

Waiters know what they are doing.....

Waiters find it amusing due to their contempt for customers to wait until you have all your food at the table and take your first mouthful to come over and ask if everything is OK to amuse themselves over our struggling to finish and answer without an awkwardly long pause for chewing!

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u/chrizzleon — 1 day ago

Honesty box sellers stage non-payments to draw more attention to their business

I’m not sure if it’s specific to my country but people have started putting honesty boxes (normally with cakes and things they’ve made) at the side of the road. You’re of course supposed to leave payment for the items in the box

Seems like every day on socials there’s a new video that is camera footage of somebody taking things from the box without paying.

The views they get on these videos are like 10x the amount of views they get on their other content, and it even algorithms it’s way onto people’s socials who never even use honesty boxes or even intend to.

Seems like a nice easy way to draw a lot of focus to your business if you ask me, and also a lot of social media sympathy too if that’s also your thing

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u/Super-Device-3328 — 1 day ago

The Cavity Creeps are Paid Agitators Sponsored by Big Toothpaste

The Cavity Creeps. We all know and love them. For decades people have dressed as them for Halloween, worn apparel bearing their resemblance, thrown themed parties and weddings based upon them, and who among us doesn't break out a "we make holes in teeth!" chant at social events?

But what are the Cavity Creeps motivation? Making holes in teeth sounds pretty rad...but it is very unclear why they would even attack Toothopolis (if that's even a real place.) Their hatred of the crestopians or whatever their name is seems irrational. Making holes in teeth doesn't provide spoils of any sort, put food on the table, or make any money.

Unless....

The Cavity Creeps do not have a lustin' for crustin' teeth. They do not exist solely to create cavities. No, that's just what BIG TOOTHPASTE wants you to think. Crest wants to shove our mouths full of their minty splooge through any means possible, including deception. Profit is their only motive. Here we were as children, believing we were keeping ourselves safe from the Cavity Creeps, only to learn the real enemy is the one who has been exploiting our fears all along.

Damn you crest. Damn you corporate America. You took my idols and turned them against me.

u/Def_Not_Hugh — 1 day ago

TSA’s three ounce rule isn’t for security. It’s for capitalism.

Companies like Unilever, Johnson & Jonson, and Proctor & Gamble have paid off US politicians and government regulators to create the rule. A $1.99 tube of travel toothpaste (or any other travel size product) seems cheap, but it’s anywhere from 3-6x the markup (price per oz) form the normal size that you would use at home. It’s a great way to force people into paying very high markups for very little product.

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u/jeophys152 — 2 days ago

Men who hate women secretly want there to be only one gender

They actually love men and they are resentful that they are born from women.

They want everyone to be a "man" who can get pregnant so they wouldn't feel weird or wrong about themselves when they love and marry men.

They want men to be born from men, being the superior "all-in-one" gender who look handsome and manly just the way they like it.

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u/Nunulu — 3 days ago

Trader Joe’s Is A Convenience Store For People Too Proud of Themselves To Buy Groceries From a Convenience Store

Trader Joe’s is a master of deception. The entire image of the company is that it’s supposed to be an upper-class, cool, hip grocery store that’s also healthy while being less expensive than Whole Foods. Meanwhile, the bulk of their products are frozen foods meant to be reheated quickly with fancy packaging. They create an allure of “we’re fancy and healthy” because they want to appeal to the young broke people who due to class anxieties don’t want to admit they’re broke and have no free time, so they make what’s basically a glorified 7/11 into a “premium” store. TJ’s entire image is based on classism from people unable to admit they’re working class.

If people would just be ok with being broke and not having time to cook due to being busy, they wouldn’t feel the need to make their convenience store shopping habits “premium.” People with class anxieties usually have health anxieties, and “convenience store frozen food” connotes bad health, so TJ’s gaslights people out of that worry by making their ultra-processed food “fancy.” If people just admitted it’s convenience store ultra-processed food to themselves, they wouldn’t be able to cope with their class anxieties.

In short, Trader Joe’s is living a lie.

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u/s7o0a0p — 3 days ago

Streaming apps on smart TVs purposefully bad.

I have a theory that streaming apps on TV are made intentionally terrible so things like unsynced audio, content not loading properly etc happens to make us watch more ads by restarting programs..

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u/bradders17 — 1 day ago

Chips (Crisps) are intentionally not mixed well to keep you coming back for more

Hear me out, you know how in a bag of chips, some of the chips are seasoned well and some have barely any seasoning and just taste like plain potato?

My theory is they do this so that eating chips becomes like gambling, you may get a dud or you may get a delicious full-flavoured one, and the thrill that the next one might be good spikes your dopamine when you do get one. And when you get a dud you feel like trying again to get the good ones

It's like on poker machines, winning a little gives you that hit of dopamine, and losing makes you want to spin again to get back that hit from winning.

Same with Doritos, any similar seasoned packaged snacks really.

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u/PulpDood — 1 day ago

I think morally bad black people are pushed as martyrs to downplay black civil rights movements.

Having figures like George Floyd and Jason Arday used as poster boys to represent the oppression of black people in society is done on purpose so people can say “oh well he was a criminal” or “he got to his position by lying”. It makes the cause look bad and not be taken as seriously, rather than actually address that black people are treated unfairly by police and they are often overlooked for senior and important decisions.

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u/franki-pinks — 1 day ago

RTGame and Rin Penrose are the same person

We've seen Dan's face, but we've never seen Rin's face. Why? Definitely not because Rin prefers not to publicly disclose her appearance, but secretly because it's the same face. They're simply one person that's just really good at using two controllers at once.

'But sometimes they talk over each other.' All collabs between them? Pre-recorded, not actually livestreamed. All of their friends are in on it too.

'What about when they respond to people in chat?' Paid actors and friends using alternate accounts.

Why do their channels have very different styles and different games streamed? To reach a wider audience.

Both like to gamble, and both like to drift. It just makes sense.

u/ducknerd2002 — 3 days ago

Cooper Hoffman was conceived in a threesome involving Dustin Hoffman

We all know that up and coming Hollywood star Cooper Hoffman is the son of the late Philip Seymour Hoffman, but what he was also the product of the other Hollywood legend with that surname (unrelated)?

u/teruteru-fan-sam — 2 days ago

Elon Musk, long ago, struck a faustian bargain

Elon could've had it all. He was in such a prime position: He was rich and successful, but not enough that people looked into his inheritance money coming from slave labor. He was the king of the people, beloved by internet denizens across twitter and 4chan, people which he identified with. But all this was not enough.

Elon approached the crossroads and beseeched the Devil, "I have got to get even more money." The Devil agreed, but said thus: "You will come to learn there are many things that cannot be bought." Such as a functioning brain, or friends, or happiness. Thus the tragedy of Elon: The world's dumbest trillionaire.

The meteoric rise in political power and capital wealth has done nothing but expose his deeply flawed personality and his mind-boggling stupidity. Much like George Constanza, he does and says everything wrong, and the opposite of his beliefs are true. However unlike Constanza he says and does these things to an audience of millions, and some poor souls cling to his ankles in the hope that some of Elon's success will trickle down to them, if they can just glaze him hard enough. And they may be right, Elon is no stranger to purchasing friends.

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u/Ok_Insect4778 — 3 days ago

Agatha Christie was a serial killer

She used her books to be close enough to her murders and then if anyone accused her, its obviously a copycat fan. She could also use it to plan upcoming murders and search for flaws in her plans.

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u/TabularConferta — 3 days ago