Hello! I have a reoccurring issue (1 of thousands) with my SM. She does not log my hours correctly, no matter how many times I remind/ask. It started with paid classes, transportation, reimbursements, and now straight up just my hours lol. She is not very proactive and doesn’t know what she is doing, she’s very young. How do I get this to change? Hr? Do I talk to my ACO? Thank you
My 20/F fiancée 22/M sometimes is not present.
Context: I struggle with derealization, whereas I think his is depersonalization (both caused by childhood trauma- we also both have a few other issues lmao.). We have both been going to therapy consistently once a week to better ourselves for about 5 months. We have been together since I was 12. We are genuinely in a good spot, trust in this please. There have been times where we were not. I believe his is triggered by stress. For example, 2 years ago, his dad had a benign tumor in his face that he had to get removed, and for months he was in a dissociative state.
Now: When he is like this, he is verbally abusive, extremely quick to anger and explosive, and is very cruel to me. I have tried everything. I can be sitting there, sobbing for a half hour, and word for word beg him for compassion. For him to see that I am not against him, that I don’t want to fight or argue. I try to explain that he is being awful to me and mistreating me (while very visibly upset) and it doesn’t trigger any change. He HAS to be right, I HAVE to be wrong, and I am just a threat to destroy. I am “no longer the person he knows”. It sometimes takes hours of him being alone (which he is avoidant and I am anxious attachment lol) but eventually he does snap out of it and I can see how disgusted he is with himself. I know what it’s like to not be able to “snap out of it”. But, therapy and lexapro have really helped both of us a lot. This barely happens anymore, once a month I would say, but it is unbearable being hurt so bad like this by someone you love.
I’m asking if anyone has ever dealt with this in a relationship, and what could get him to snap out of these episodes? Also I’m sorry if this didn’t make much sense, ask anything you need to. It happened again and this is why I am coming to Reddit lol. I’m to a point where nothing feels like a resolution. I no longer want comfort from him, I feel like nothing will change, I honestly have no hope.
TL;DR my fiancée only sees me as a threat sometimes due to depersonalization, how can I get him to snap out of it or prevent it?