u/Odd-Carpenter2926

May 26, 2023. Across the street, directly infront of Our home. With a hammer. That he hung back up.

After pacing back and forth for the past 3 years in my home, just like the night of when I paced on the porch waiting for somebody to answer my “you can tell me if my mom is dead” as 40 unmarked tinted vehicles police/ fbi/ coroner/ men in black looking guys with laptops/ state police lined the space between our two houses

She left our back door for a walk 7:pm… 1:07 am weird frantic knocking on back door / my son’s window (not my mom) but my animal instincts/ maternal+daughter intuition immediately sensed, do not open the door. Literally like echolocation, I knew my mother’s spirit was not physically in her body? Like beyond anything my brain can comprehend, so animalistic in nature/ frequency? 1:18 police start lining the street 1:20 every window in my house lights up (assuming LED flashlights)
I stayed glued to the only wall out of sight. For 3 hours.
Started peeking through the blinds, something is seriously wrong. Called her 98 times. She would’ve answered the first ring
5:18 am I’m sitting with clear view on the front hallway steps. The swat team is in my driveway now. I know she is dead rather soul left body yet it was 6:20 am I came out of the front door and at that moment my entire existence shattered. Pacing on the front porch, the sun had just started to come up

_i digress____ so much more.

Just started therapy 2 months ago

This post is kinda just a word vomit / more for me to acknowledge PTSD diagnosis yet there’s so much more to type…. *goes blank* ……yea maybe next time

*nervous laughter* Thanks!