Husband Forgot Anniversary - I Still Want to Celebrate it Alone
Asking if it’s wrong to celebrate wedding anniversary (20+ years) completely alone since my husband forgot it.
Husband (40s) is normally good about gifts and milestones. He usually messes up my birthday though, but the last few times he’s made up for it. I (40s) asked him a couple months ago to book our hotel and a spa weekend for us. No big gifts or fancy dinners necessary just a getaway from stress for us both.
Looking through our shared bank history the other day (to check on something else entirely not that I need a reason) I realized he hasn’t purchased a gift, booked the trip, spa, nothing I asked for. He hasn’t withdrawn cash to pay in cash either which wouldn’t make sense for a hotel stay or spa since they require a card to book.
I asked him if he remembered to take that weekend off work and he said he did not. I didn’t remind him that it’s our anniversary weekend bc I didn’t think I needed to since we both got married the same day.
I really don’t want to remind him or give him a chance to make it up to me. I just want to go off and do my own thing and him stay at home with the kids. I am tempted to just go ahead and book everything I want to do just for one person and enjoy myself.
I should probably be heartbroken and upset that he forgot our anniversary but I’m not. I’m just tired and pretty disgusted by him and would rather be away to cool off anyway in case I say things I regret later.
He has been busy and stressed and just made a really big purchase for the family so if I bring up the forgotten anniversary I know he will make that his excuse and also guilt trip me. I don’t want to deal with that since I’m just as stressed and overworked as he is.
What if I don’t want to work things out? What if I’m ok with him being mad and alone like I am?
TL;DR : husband forgot anniversary and instead of attempting to fix things I just want to go off on my own and do my own thing.