An identity crisis as a Bengali born and raised in Assam ....looking for a genuine, sensible discussion.
I am a Bengali Hindu girl born and raised in the Brahmaputra Valley, and lately, I’ve been struggling with a major identity crisis regarding where I belong. I’m writing this purely to understand different perspectives and maybe find some clarity, without any shade or bitterness.
Growing up in Assam, I went to a school where the environment was deeply rooted in Assamese culture. I grew up learning and loving Assamese songs, dance, and culture—honestly, I know more about it than my own Bengali heritage. My friend circle was a 50/50 mix of Assamese and Bengali kids, and it was amazing. I never faced discrimination from teachers, neighbors, or friends. I was never made to feel like an outsider in my own home.
The shift happened when I moved to Delhi for my Master's. Like anyone in a new city, I naturally gravitated toward people from my home state to feel a sense of familiarity. But when I tried to integrate into Assamese circles here, I felt a subtle disconnect. They weren't rude or mean to me at all, but I was kind of neglected because I am Bengali. It wasn't bullying, just a clear boundary that showed me I wasn't truly "one of them." Ultimately, I realized I didn't seamlessly fit into the West Bengal groups, nor the Assamese groups.
Because I've been away from Assam for my studies over the last few years, my exposure to the state's social climate has been largely through social media, where I see a lot of vitriol towards Bengalis. It has made me incredibly insecure. I’ve reached a point where I feel a strange, misplaced guilt for simply being born a Bengali in Assam. I even catch myself feeling hesitant to talk about my background, and I regularly contemplate just settling outside of Assam forever once I am older, just to avoid making anyone uncomfortable. My family, who still lives in Assam and loves it, completely disagrees with my anxiety.
The most confusing part is that I actually understand the perspective of the indigenous Assamese communities. If I put myself in their shoes and saw a different community growing rapidly in population, I would also feel fiercely protective of my identity, culture, and resources. I completely respect that anxiety, which is why I hold absolutely no bitterness.
But it leaves me asking: where does that leave people like me? People who love and respect Assamese culture, who have no other home, but who feel like their very existence is an intrusion?
I genuinely want to know the thoughts of sensible people in this sub. Do you view the newer generation of Bengalis born and raised in Assam as part of the state, or do you genuinely prefer that we eventually migrate out? I'm trying to navigate this very uncomfortable reality and would appreciate honest, level-headed thoughts.